If you and your ex recently broke up, it’s natural to feel sad about it.
A part of you might even hope for a reconciliation.
However, there are clear signs you will never get back together with your ex, and you should watch out for them so that you know when to move on.
1) You and your ex have different values and expectations
Breakups often happen when you and your ex no longer have the same goals or expectations for the relationship.
It’s also common when one of you has unrealistic expectations of the other.
It’s important to talk about your goals and expectations early in the relationship.
You need to be honest and open with each other, and decide if you want the same things or not.
If you don’t, then it’s better to end the relationship before it gets too serious.
If you break up and months later find out that your expectations and values are different, there will be no second chance for you two.
It’s better to end it now. You don’t want to lead someone on and break their heart because you don’t know what you want.
You see, maybe the relationship worked for a short while, but realistically, if your values and expectations are different, then there is just no hope that getting back together will end any differently.
This is true for all values, maybe you want to get married and have kids, but they don’t, or maybe you like city life, while they want to move to the countryside.
However, it can also be about smaller things, such as you value cleanliness and order, while they are the messiest person you’ve ever met.
You see, when your values don’t align, not only will you potentially settle for a life you don’t want, but you might also end up with someone you don’t like.
The resentment will build over time, and you will break up again.
This is a very important sign, as it means that you and your ex are not on the same page in terms of expectations, values, and goals.
If you have completely different goals and expectations, it’s hard to expect the relationship to work out.
If you don’t want to be together, then there is no point in trying to get back together.
You need to think about what exactly it is that you want, and what exactly your ex wants.
Once you know that, it will be easier for you to decide if the relationship will work or not.
2) You don’t trust each other
If you can’t trust your ex to treat you well and make the right choices, there’s no reason to stay together.
Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Without it, you have nothing. If you notice that you and your ex don’t trust each other, it’s time to realize that things are over before you even think about getting back together.
You don’t want to get too deep into a relationship without trust.
It’s best to end things before they get too complicated.
If you want to get back together with your ex, you need to work on your trust issues first because they may come up again in the future.
Now: there are two factors at play here.
Some people are just not trustworthy, they act shady or maybe even cheat on you.
However, sometimes the issue also lies within yourself, perhaps your ex is perfectly trustworthy, but you just have deep-seated trust issues!
If it’s the latter, I recommend working on that, as it will influence any future relationship you will have, no matter with whom!
Ask a relationship coach for advice
While the points in this article will help you deal with moving on from an ex, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like getting back together with an ex. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago.
After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
3) One of you has moved on already
If you broke up a while ago, and one of you has already moved on, it’s unlikely that you will get back together.
It’s not fair to you or your ex. You can’t go back in time and undo your breakup, so you need to accept that it happened and move on.
You may have feelings for your ex, but if they are already in a relationship with someone else, you need to let it go.
Your ex may want to get back together with you and be torn between two people.
If you notice that your ex has moved on, and you want to get back together with them, you need to be respectful of the new relationship.
It’s possible that your ex will choose you, but you need to be careful not to break their heart and the heart of the other person.
You see, whenever a new person is involved, things get really complicated really quickly.
4) The relationship was abusive or unhealthy
If your relationship was abusive or unhealthy, you should never get back together with your ex.
You need to end the bond now before it gets too serious.
You don’t want to lead someone on and get back together with them only to repeat the past.
If your relationship was unhealthy, you will have issues that you need to work on before you can be in a healthy relationship again.
You may have unresolved issues from your relationship with your ex, and you need to deal with them before you can be in another healthy relationship.
You also don’t want to repeat the same mistakes that led to your breakup in the first place.
The thing is, it is possible for two people to get back together and be happy together, but there are usually months or years of self-work in between the two relationships.
Think about it: if you get back together now, you will be at the exact same place you were before because neither of you had a chance to change or work on yourselves, yet.
Plus, if you feel like the relationship was abusive, please don’t ever go back to that person.
Sure, you may still have feelings for them, but if you don’t work on yourself and your issues, you will be back in a cycle of abuse.
5) You constantly fight with your ex over petty things
If you constantly fight with your ex over petty things, it’s a sign that you should not get back together.
A healthy relationship doesn’t consist of constant fighting and arguing. You see, it’s normal to argue from time to time, but constant bickering over petty things is unhealthy.
If you constantly fight, it shows that there is no love or respect left between you two.
No amount of fighting will change this. You will only drive each other away.
If you recently broke up with your ex, but you still have feelings for them, you need to deal with your emotions and avoid contact with them.
You don’t want to constantly text them, talk to them, or have coffee with them just because you want to get back together.
Trust me, it is not healthy for either of you to be in a relationship that consists of constant fighting.
It’s best to get back together when you are both ready and healthy, not when you are in a state of constant fighting.
6) You don’t communicate well
If you don’t communicate well with your ex-partner, you are not ready for a serious relationship.
If you break up with your ex, it’s likely that communication was a problem in your relationship. You see, communication is key in any relationship!
If you two were fighting a lot, you were probably miscommunicating with each other.
When you are in a relationship, you need to be on the same page and understand each other.
If you constantly miscommunicate with your ex, you are not ready for a relationship. You need to build your communication skills before getting into a new relationship.
The thing is, communication is a two-way street.
You can’t do it by yourself, if your partner shuts down, there is no communication.
Open communication is a must in any relationship.
If you want to get back together, you need to work on your communication skills and be ready to communicate with each other.
Do you feel like you and your ex always seem to be talking past each other, never really hearing what the other person has to say?
That’s a big sign that you aren’t communicating well.
You will probably not get back together if that’s the case.
7) Your ex-partner doesn’t respect you
If your ex doesn’t respect you, you will never get back together with them (and you shouldn’t).
If you two were together long enough, you probably found a few ways that they don’t respect you.
It may be little things that most people don’t notice, like the way they talk to you or the way they treat you.
It may also be bigger things like cheating on you or not valuing your opinion.
If you notice that your ex doesn’t respect you, there is no chance that you will ever get back together with them.
Or at least I hope you won’t!
You see, being with someone who disrespects you is a sign of disrespecting yourself.
While yes, they are the bad guy here, you can’t really complain if you let them do it over and over again.
Being with them means choosing their behavior, and if that behavior is disrespectful, then you are choosing that for yourself.
So, if your ex is disrespectful, don’t get back together with them.
8) You and your ex broke up more than once before
If you broke up more than once before, there is probably little chance that you will ever get back together with your ex.
While your on-again, off-again relationship might lead to you guys getting back together, it sounds to me as though you are not in the healthiest space.
You both need to move on and try to find someone new.
You need to change your patterns and not repeat the same mistakes.
If your relationship was always ending in breakups, it’s a bad sign.
You need to end the relationship and find someone new.
If you want to get back together with your ex, it’s better to let them go and find someone new.
You see, this pattern of constantly breaking up and getting back together is just causing drama, it’s not a real, stable relationship full of love!
Instead, focus on yourself for a while and then find a partner with who you will be with for the long haul.
9) The breakup was ugly and the relationship ended on a bad note
If the breakup was ugly, and the relationship ended on a bad note, you two were not meant to be.
If you were fighting a lot or there was a lot of drama in your relationship, it’s better to end things before it gets even uglier.
People often hold out hope that things will get better, even when all signs point to the breakup.
If you two broke up on bad terms, there is no chance that you will ever get back together. You need to move on and find someone new.
You see, if the breakup was super ugly, it will be difficult to ever see past it.
Trust me, as soon as you argue for the first time, the things they said or did during the breakup will come back up and you will fight even more!
If the breakup was terrible or they did something bad, it will be incredibly hard to move past this, so maybe you’re better off staying separated.
You deserve to be with someone who respects you and doesn’t disrespect you.
10) You know they are not the one
If you know that your ex is not the one for you, you will never get back together with them.
The one is the person who is perfect for you. You might meet them soon and when you do, you will know.
If you are still thinking about dating your ex and you know they are not the one, you need to stop and move on.
You don’t want to lead them on and keep them in the relationship when you know that it won’t work out.
Sometimes, we don’t really know why, but we have a feeling in our gut that a person is not our soulmate or not the one we are meant to be with.
It’s kind of difficult to accept, especially if, for a long time, you thought they were the one you would spend your life with.
However, things change, and once you know for a fact that this person is not the person you are meant to be with forever, it’s best not to entertain the fact that you could get back together.
Trust me, the longer you spend with someone who isn’t your soulmate, the longer you postpone meeting the person of your dreams.
It depends on the situation
It’s possible that you will get back together with your ex, but you need to be careful because you might be setting yourself up for another breakup.
If you notice a few of these signs, you need to think about whether it’s worth trying to get back together with your ex.
It’s better to end things now before you get too invested in them again.
Trust me, these signs are all red flags that indicate that you and your ex are not meant to be together again, especially not at this point in your lives.
If you want to get back with your ex, you need to make some changes first.
You need to work on your issues before you can be in a healthy relationship again.
Getting back together now will almost certainly lead to another breakup and even more drama and heartache, and who wants that?
I hope you will make the right decision for yourself and think about your long-term happiness, not your short-term gratification!
