Have you ever felt that a piece of your heart was missing because you couldn’t be with the person you love?
Maybe you were separated by distance or perhaps there was a different obstacle.
Whatever the reason, when it feels impossible to be with the one you love, it can leave you feeling alone and unfulfilled.
I will tell you today how to let go of someone you love who can’t be with you.
1) Don’t dwell on what you can’t have
The thing you have to understand is that you can’t have someone in your life if they don’t want to be there or if the circumstances simply don’t allow it.
You can’t force someone to love you if they don’t feel that way.
You have to accept that the person you love can’t be with you.
That might be really hard to do, but if you don’t let go of the past, you will never be able to move on.
Every time you think about the person you love, you have to remind yourself that you can’t have them in your life.
Now: this is even more difficult when the love is reciprocated but life circumstances don’t allow you to be together.
In that case, it is worth thinking about it: is there truly no way for you to be together?
This is coming from someone who endured a long-distance relationship for 1.5 years through the heights of the pandemic.
Trust me, although it might hurt, it is possible to find a way, even in difficult situations.
However, sometimes one of the partners simply doesn’t want to or can’t be together.
In that case, the person you love will have to let go of you.
If there isn’t, then you have to let go of the person you love or you will never be able to move on.
You see, you can’t dwell on what you can’t change, and if you know for a fact that there is no way for you to be together, then you need to start letting go.
2) Shift your focus to the present moment
Usually, when we are heartbroken, we are trapped in the past. We think about our memories with that person, and we get sad thinking about the possibility of them being with someone else.
Especially if they simply can’t be with you, even though they would like to, letting go can be difficult.
However, you will not find the answer to your problems in the past.
The present moment is all you have.
That’s all you ever have.
We can’t change the past, we can’t control the future.
We can only be in the here and now.
When you are consumed by thoughts of the past and the person you love, you aren’t present in the now.
You can’t be there for yourself, you can’t be there for the people around you if you are lost in your thoughts.
When you are spending all your time thinking about what you can’t have, you are ignoring the wonderful things that are right in front of you.
You have to train yourself to focus on the now.
There are multiple ways to go about this. Mindfulness is a great way to start.
Mindfulness is essentially just being aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it.
So when you find yourself obsessively thinking about your ex, or dwelling on the past, stop and ask yourself why you’re doing that.
Then ask yourself why you are thinking about the past in that way.
And then just start focusing on the present moment again. Focus on all your senses, what do you hear, feel, smell, or taste right now?
When we learn to focus on the present moment, we will find ourselves happier than ever before.
You will be able to move on from your heartbreak faster than ever because all of your attention will be focused on what is happening right now.
Another way is to train yourself to be grateful for what you do have.
Write a list of 3-5 things every day that you are grateful for. This could be as little as “the blanket on my bed” or “the sun in the window”.
Gratitude is an excellent way to shift your attention to the present moment because you are constantly focusing on the positive.
As you focus on the positive, you will naturally shift your attention away from what you can’t have.
These are all things we can do to shift our focus from the past and future to the present moment.
3) Write a letter to release your emotions
If you feel like all of your emotions are building up, it might be helpful to write a letter to the person you love.
You can write whatever you feel like and you don’t have to send it.
You can write it for yourself to release those emotions and let them go.
Writing a letter to the person you love can help you come to terms with why you feel the way you do.
It can help you to understand what you are feeling. You might be able to let go of some of those emotions by writing them down and getting them out of your head.
If you don’t like the format of writing a letter, simple journaling will do the trick, too.
Sometimes, you might want to actually send the letter, and that’s okay, too, as long as you feel good about it.
In whatever you write, make sure that you truly let your emotions run wild.
Get everything on paper that weighs heavy on your chest.
Let your emotions flow and write until you have no more words to express what you’re feeling.
Then, read it over and make sure you are proud of yourself for writing it.
An important part of letting go is, to be honest with yourself.
You might not like the way you feel, but this is the best way for you to get through those emotions.
What would a relationship coach say?
While this article will shed light on the main things you can do if the person you love can’t be with you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like not being able to be with each other. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help.
From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
4) Find new meaning in your life
When you are consumed by thoughts of the person you love, it’s easy to get stuck in the idea that your life is pointless.
You might feel like there’s no point to anything because the person you love can’t be with you.
You have to remember that the person you love didn’t choose to leave you.
You have to remember that there is an explanation for everything and everything happens for a reason.
I know, it sounds a bit cheesy, but I truly believe that. Everything in life happens for a reason, even if it often takes a while for us to realize what that reason might be.
So, you have to find new meaning in your life.
You have to make a point of finding things that are positive, even if they don’t seem all that important to you at the moment.
You might find a reason for everything that’s happening in your life and realize that this has happened for a reason.
All of those negative thoughts about what’s going on in your life will fade away when you have found the new meaning.
And, you will find it because there is always something new out there to discover and experience.
The person you love might not be with you, but you can find new meaning in your life.
There are probably many things you haven’t done yet or passions you haven’t explored. Explore new passions and find new things that make you happy.
5) Don’t try to change things that can’t be changed
You can’t change the fact that the person you love is not with you.
As much as we sometimes want to control life, we can’t.
The only thing you can do is accept it and move forward.
You can’t change the fact that the person you love is not with you, but you can choose to make a new life for yourself.
You have to learn how to love yourself and be happy with who you are.
You have to learn how to be happy without the person you love by doing things that make you happy.
And, those things might be different from what the person you love would do for fun.
You see, if you constantly want to change things you have no influence over, you have no choice but to be depressed.
Instead, try asking yourself these questions: “Do I know what to do about this?” “Can I do something about this right now?”
If the answer to either of these is no, then you need to let it go.
6) Be grateful for the time you had
There are many people in this world who have never been loved by anyone.
Believe it or not, there are many people in this world who have never felt the love of another person.
You see, countless people in this world have never been in a relationship and have never felt that love.
You are lucky because you have felt love.
You have felt the love of another person. You have had a relationship.
Don’t feel sad that you don’t have love in your life anymore. Be grateful for the time you had.
Love is rare and special, but it doesn’t last forever. You have to be grateful for the time you had and the memories you made.
I know, it’s such a corny line “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”, but there is some truth to it.
While you might not be able to be grateful for your experience just yet, given the sadness, you will, eventually.
You see, any time we feel love in our life is an opportunity to be grateful for our existence.
It is an opportunity to remember what this life is all about.
You have to be grateful for the memories you made with the person you love because it will help you when you are sad and lonely.
You see, the memories of your relationship are special because they were a part of your life.
7) Move on by finding new experiences
One of the best ways to move on from someone you’ve loved is to find new experiences and try new things.
You can meet new people, go on new adventures, and try new things.
Spend more time with people you care about and find ways to be helpful.
Find new hobbies that you enjoy and spend more time on your passions.
Do the things that make you happy and make sure those things are things you have control over.
You don’t want to be in a situation where you feel like you have to depend on someone else all the time.
Finding new experiences is a great way to move on from heartache.
You see, new experiences are what give our lives meaning, they fill us with adrenaline and excitement.
They give us something to look forward to and make us feel alive.
When you are sad, going on a new adventure might be exactly what you need to get over the heartache.
You see, the best way to move on from heartbreak is to find new experiences and try new things.
8) Spend more time with friends and loved ones
When you are sad and depressed because a loved one has left your life, you might want to spend all of your time alone.
You might feel like you can’t be around people you care about because it’s too painful.
You potentially feel like you don’t deserve to have the people you love in your life because the person you love can’t be with you.
You have to remember that your loved ones care about you.
Turns out you have to remember that there are people who want to be in your life and spend time with you.
You have to remember that you deserve to have people in your life. You deserve to spend time with the people who love you.
So, call up your friends and hang out with them!
9) Take care of yourself
You have to take care of yourself. No one else can do that for you.
You have to make sure that you are eating right and exercising, and you have to make sure that you are getting enough sleep.
You have to see that you are getting enough alone time.
You see, you have to make sure that you are taking care of your mental health as well as your physical health.
Do things that make you happy and surround yourself with positive people.
You have to make sure that you are spending time with the people you care about.
Self-care is now more important than ever before!
10) Focus on your career or passions
Many people focus on finding a romantic partner and ignore their career or passions in life.
It can be really easy to get caught up in romantic relationships and put everything else on the back burner.
When you have someone in your life you love, it can be really easy to put that person first at the expense of everything else.
You have to remember that there are other things in your life that matter too.
There are other things in your life that you have just as much ownership over.
There are things in your life that are just as important. Don’t let one thing take over your life and make you forget about everything else.
Now that you can’t be with that person, the time has come to focus on your career or passions.
You see, this is truly the time for you to shine and find what excites you!
With time, you will heal
I know, it might not feel like it right now, but with time, you will heal.
Heartbreak sucks, especially when the person you love can’t be with you, but sooner or later, you will get over it.
Make sure you don’t avoid your feelings and actually let yourself work through the difficult emotions.
