Sometimes, getting over the idea of a relationship can be harder than getting over a relationship itself, because we idealize the other person in our minds.
Now: how do you get over a guy who never liked you?
If you are in this difficult spot, I will help you out with 10 tips:
1) Be honest with yourself
First and foremost, you will have to be honest with yourself to get past the idea of a relationship.
You will have to deal with the fact that the guy you liked never actually liked you back.
This can be an incredibly painful realization, especially if you have been putting all of your hopes and dreams into the potential of the situation.
Yet, when you face the situation head-on, you will also create space inside yourself to move forward.
You can use the situation to reflect on yourself as a person, on what you want in your life and what you don’t want. You can use it to grow and learn from the experience.
You see, while the truth may hurt a bit, it will never hurt you as much as staying in deceit will.
Accept that sometimes, you’re not the right person for someone.
Sometimes, the person you like doesn’t like you back because they don’t have feelings for you and they never will.
This means that there is no chance of a future together.
It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with either party; it just means that the two of you are not meant to be together.
And if that is the case, then it’s better to face this truth sooner rather than later, so you can move on with your life.
You don’t want to spend years hoping someone will come around to like you when it’s never going to happen. That would be a waste of your time and energy!
Instead, accept the reality of the situation: he didn’t like you, which says nothing about you, and simply says that he wasn’t into you at this moment in his life.
Once you accept that truth, you will realize that it’s not so bad, after all.
2) Find your self-worth outside of men
You may look to the experience of not being liked back as a sign that you are not worth the attention of others or that there is something wrong with you.
However, this is actually not true.
Your worth as a human being has nothing to do with other people’s opinions and everything to do with how you feel about yourself internally.
You have to actively seek out ways to build up your self-worth outside of men, especially if you have been intensely focusing on this one guy and not paying attention to yourself.
Take care of yourself and give yourself the love that you deserve. Spend time alone with yourself and do things you enjoy.
You see, this is actually a big problem in our society. A lot of women base all of their self-worth on men and how they are perceived by them.
When they are not liked back, they feel like they are not worth anything.
But it’s not true. You are worth a lot and you deserve to be treated with love and respect by other people, including men.
You have to remember that your self-worth is separate from other people’s opinions of you, especially if these opinions are negative.
You are an amazing person with a lot of good qualities and no one has the right to tell you otherwise!
Now: once you realize that you are a divine being and that the right person will love every inch of you, you will also notice that this experience is not as bad as you first thought it was.
I like to think of it this way: you have inherent worth that can never be taken away, and you have someone you are meant to be with.
Now: when a guy tells you he doesn’t like you, all he is doing is freeing the way for your man to come into your life, the one you are actually meant to be with.
This is something positive!
There’s the saying “Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from finding your soulmate” – well maybe, this guy did the work for you and didn’t want to keep you from finding your soulmate.
Reframing your mind like that will help a lot when feeling unworthy or sad.
3) Talk to a relationship coach
While the points in this article will help you deal with getting over a guy who never liked you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like getting over someone who never liked you in the first place.
They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago.
After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationships, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) Don’t stay in touch
If you have been trying to stay in touch with the guy who never liked you, you need to stop.
You have to end all contact between the two of you. You have to put an end to the ongoing dream you have been having about this potential relationship.
It might be painful, but you have to let it go.
You have to let go of that hope that you have been holding onto. You have to let go of the fantasies you have been imagining.
And most importantly, you have to let go of the idea that the two of you might happen at some point.
Now: if you are still friends, no contact will probably not work out very well.
In that case, try to limit the contact and don’t hang out with him alone until you feel like you’ve healed from this experience.
In any other case, cutting off contact will really help you to heal on your own without being constantly reminded of who you had a crush on.
5) Write down your feelings in a journal
Keep a journal where you can vent all of your feelings.
You can write about how you feel about the guy who never liked you, what it feels like to have it come to an end, how you feel about yourself, and so on.
This is a great way to get emotions out of your system and reflect on them.
You will be able to see things more clearly through writing, instead of letting the feelings fester inside of you and making you depressed or anxious.
You will also be able to look back at what you wrote down later on when thinking about this experience and remember how far you’ve come.
Writing has always been such a great tool in my own experience, as it allows you to let go of your thoughts after you’ve brought them down on paper.
You can also carry your journal with you and write in it whenever you feel the need to.
I know I’m very thankful for my journal when I need to get something out of my system or just have an outlet for my thoughts.
If you don’t have a journal, consider getting one and writing in it every day.
It will be an excellent way for you to begin your healing process.
6) Learn from the experience
Make sure that you take the experience of liking someone who never liked you and turn it into something positive.
Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation.
How can you use the experience to grow as a person?
How can you use it to become the best version of yourself?
This bad experience will not define who you are as a person, only you can do that.
You can use it as motivation to become better and stronger.
You can use it to inspire you to go after the relationships and love that you do want in your life.
You see, when you fall for someone who never liked you in the first place, it says a lot about where you stand in relation to yourself.
If you love yourself and respect yourself, a guy not pursuing you at all wouldn’t even be interesting, as you know you are worth being chased by the right man.
So: which limiting beliefs make you attracted to a man who couldn’t care less about you?
I know, this is a tough question to ask, but it’s important!
7) Build up your self-confidence and remember who you are
As you take some time away from the guy who never liked you, you will also have the opportunity to build up your self-confidence.
When you spend your time thinking about someone else and whether or not they like you, you are not putting your focus on yourself and your own self-worth.
You are putting it on someone else entirely. In order to get over this guy, you need to put the focus back on yourself.
You need to make time for yourself and the things that will build you up and make you feel good about who you are and who you want to be.
You need to remember who you are and what you want in your life.
This relates back to what I mentioned in my point just earlier.
What is making you attracted to someone who doesn’t see your worth at all?
Of course, that will destroy your confidence and reaffirm negative beliefs you hold about yourself.
So now is the time you reclaim your confidence and remember who you are – a beautiful woman worthy of being loved and cherished!
Once you remember that, you will lose all the attraction you once had for that guy because you realize that he didn’t bring value to your life.
8) Spend time with your friends
Spend some time away from the situation, whether it’s hanging out with your friends or pursuing a hobby you love.
This will help you gain some perspective on the experience and will also give you the opportunity to enjoy yourself.
You need to spend some time with the people who love and support you so that you can be reminded of your own self-worth and what you are capable of doing and being in your life.
You need to spend time with your friends and family to remind yourself that you are worthy of love, that you are capable of being loved, and that you are capable of loving people in return.
When you shut yourself off from friends and family, things can get really lonely really quickly.
Instead, try to spend more time with them and let them remind you of what an amazing person you are and how lucky someone will be to have you in their life!
It’s important to remember that you are worthy of love and being loved.
You need to remind yourself of this fact every day.
Remind yourself of your worth and remind yourself that you are capable of being loved and loving others in return.
Spend some time with your friends and family, surround yourself with positive people, reflect on the things in your life that make you happy, and put the focus back on you!
9) Find activities that make you feel good
Find activities that make you feel good, that make you happy.
Focus on making some lasting changes in your life.
Change your environment and your routine, if you have to.
Make time for activities and hobbies that bring you joy and the feeling of being alive.
Do things that make you feel good. Do things that you enjoy and that make sense to you.
Simply put, you have to put joy and feeling good at the center of your life once again.
You have to get back in touch with what makes you happy.
Sometimes, while we are absorbed with someone else, we completely forget to shift the focus back on ourselves and do the things that make us happy.
Well, now is your time to be happy!
Now is your time to love yourself and make some changes in your life.
You have to make time for the things that make you happy, whatever they may be.
You have to be willing to do things that are good for you and will bring you joy, even if they aren’t the most popular thing in the world.
If something makes you happy, do it!
10) Grieve, if you need to
If your feelings are particularly intense and you need some time to grieve for what could have been, give yourself that time.
If you feel like you need to cry about it and let it out, do so.
Maybe you need to create some space for yourself to process everything that you are feeling, and that’s okay.
If you feel like you need to spend some time alone to mourn what could have been, then spend that time alone.
You do not need to explain it to anyone, you do not need to justify it to anyone.
You need to grieve for the relationship that you hoped would happen but did not.
It’s truly sad, especially when you have placed lots of hope into this one person and they didn’t come through.
You need to grieve for the potential of what could have been and what was lost in reality.
Once you do that, you will have a much easier time moving on.
11) Focus on yourself
In the end, it all comes back to you. You have to focus on yourself and what you want and need in your life.
You have to remember that you are worthy of love and that you deserve the best in life.
Put yourself out there and go after what you want in life.
You have to let go of the idea that one person has the power to make you happy or to make you complete.
Instead, remember that you are all you need to be happy.
Now is the perfect time to shift the focus back on yourself and take amazing care of yourself.
This means mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Mentally, you need to learn how to love yourself and make changes in your life that will bring you joy.
Physically, you need to take care of your body and make sure that it is healthy and strong.
Spiritually, you need to develop a connection with yourself and your higher power, whatever that may be for you.
Taking care of yourself is essential in moving on from the pain of what could have been.
Let go of the past and focus on the present!
And the best part?
The more you take care of yourself, the more your confidence will go up, because you are finally treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated!
12) Date when you feel ready again
Finally, when you are ready to date again, do it.
There is no rule about how long you have to wait before dating again.
There is no rule about how long you have to grieve for this experience before getting involved with someone else.
You will have to let yourself grieve for however long you need to grieve, but then you have to move on.
However, you have to date when you feel ready and not a second before.
You have to put yourself first and make sure that you are ready for this next chapter in your love life.
You see, you have to be open and ready to love again, whether that happens immediately or takes a little while.
The thing is, if you date too soon and you aren’t ready yet, you are not doing anyone a favor.
Not yourself, and not the new person you are dating.
Instead, make sure that you have fully healed from this experience before you venture out into the dating world again.
The thing is, when you date even though you aren’t ready yet, you just end up suppressing your feelings.
You can’t date someone while you are still in love with someone else.
It just isn’t fair to you or the new person you are dating.
So, make sure that you are open and ready to love again before you get involved with someone else.
Then, when the time is right, go for it!
And trust me, before you know it, you will have forgotten about the guy who wasn’t a good match for you!
You got this
These tips will help you get over the guy who never liked you. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Trust me, when you put in the work and heal from something like this, you will only walk out the other side feeling stronger, better, and even more confident!
An experience like this is nothing to feel bad about. Instead, use it as an opportunity to learn!