If you’ve ever been in a situation where you really like a guy but he just wants to be friends, you know how it feels. It sucks.
In fact, most of us have been through the experience at some point in our lives and have had to deal with the awkward feeling that comes with not being liked back in the same way.
But don’t worry; there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are some things you can do in that situation.
That is why we want to give you some tips on what to do if he just wants to be friends but you still like him.
1) Don’t be afraid to be yourself
If circumstances have brought you to a point where a guy you like wants to remain just friends and nothing more, don’t be afraid to be yourself.
You know what you have to offer, and he knows it too.
The reason why he just wants to remain friends with you is probably not about you as a person, but maybe just something personal.
So don’t worry about changing yourself in order to please him. Be yourself!
This is actually the biggest mistake you could be making in that situation. You see, when you are unapologetically yourself, you are being more attractive.
You are showing him the best version of you, and that is what you should do.
Anybody likes confident people who aren’t afraid to be who they are, so don’t hide away!
On that same note, you should maybe give him a bit of time and not pressure him too hard right now:
2) Try to get to know him better without any pressure
If you want to get to know him better, and you still want a chance to change his mind, try to get to know him better without any pressure.
If you want to do so, do it slowly and without any urgency.
Try to go on simple hang-outs to get to know him better as a person and not as a love interest.
Try to create a new friendship with him that could turn into something more if he ever changes his mind.
You see, when you put pressure on a guy that already told you he wants to be just friends right now, you are only going to ruin your chances of ever being with that guy.
If, on the other hand, you accept what happened, give him some space and hang out with him without the pressure of “let’s date!”, then there is actually a chance of him falling in love with you at some point.
And remember: just because he wants to act like your friend right now, it doesn’t mean that you can’t date him in the future either.
On the topic of not pressuring him too much:
3) Don’t follow him around and stalk him
If you really want to win him over, don’t follow him around and don’t stalk him.
Try to get your head in the game and get busy with your own life.
Try to find new hobbies, catch up on reading, or go out with your friends.
Don’t focus too much on him and his reasons for not liking you back.
You see, you need to try to get yourself busy so that your mind is focused on something else.
That way, you will have less time to be thinking about him and his rejections.
Trust me, nothing is more unattractive than someone who, after a rejection, becomes desperate and chases a guy and follows him around or texts him 24/7.
That’s the first thing on the “What not to do” list.
Who would you find more interesting, the person, who, after you rejected them moved on with their life and did a bunch of really fun things that made you wonder if you could join, or the person who became desperate and tried to reach out to you all day every day?
Of course, you probably will be thinking about him a lot, but you can make that thinking time productive:
4) Try to understand why he doesn’t like you back
If you want to know why he doesn’t like you back, try to understand why he doesn’t like you back.
Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t assume that it’s something you did wrong. It may not have anything to do with you.
There could be something else that’s holding him back. There could be something in his past that he hasn’t dealt with yet.
Maybe there could be something that he doesn’t want to share with you yet.
Different people come from different backgrounds and have different past experiences.
That could be something that is holding him back from fully opening up to you.
When you take a little bit of time to discern why he doesn’t like you back, you might realize that it doesn’t have anything to do with you, after all.
This can be a huge help because when you know this, it will be a lot easier to be graceful about it and to find someone else that is a better match for you.
Or, you’ll know that it might just be a matter of time until he comes around.
However, until then, it’s important that you are clear about what you want:
5) Communicate what you want clearly
If you want to win him over, communicate what you want clearly.
That way, there will be no misunderstandings.
Try to open up to him and communicate the feelings you have inside of you. If he still rejects you, try to understand it this time.
He may not feel the same way. If that is the case, be gracious and let go of the relationship.
When you try to communicate what you want clearly, you will be one step closer to finding the right people for you.
This means you will have to really look deep within yourself and figure out what it is you want.
Can you maintain a friendship with him or are your feelings so strong that it would be painful?
From personal experience, it can be difficult to discern the truth about what I want and then also communicate that in an effective way.
What is needed in order to do that effectively is actually a good relationship with yourself.
I learned that in this free masterclass by the shaman Rudà Iandê.
He taught me that in order to have a successful relationship and communicate my needs, I first needed to build up a relationship with myself and understand myself deeply.
If you are struggling with opening up about what you want, or you feel like you don’t even know what it is you want, this free masterclass is perfect for you!
It will also teach you how to take the rejection in a good way, which I will talk about in the next point:
6) Take the rejection gracefully
If the person you really like doesn’t feel the same way about you, take the rejection gracefully.
Just because he doesn’t feel the same way about you doesn’t mean that you are bad or that you are not worth it.
He could just not be the right person for you. That person could be someone else. It could be someone who is just around the corner, waiting for you to make the first move.
Try not to take it too hard and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up too much over it. Try to move on and find the right people for you.
This has multiple advantages. For one, if you don’t take the rejection gracefully, you’ll likely ruin your chances of being with this guy forever.
And secondly, maybe he really isn’t your person. You see, when people reject us or break up with us, our first instinct is to hold on or be really sad about what is happening.
While that is okay to some extent, it’s also important to remember that if they rejected you, that could be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Maybe they opened the door for the actual love of your life.
What if the guy you like right now isn’t the right guy for you, but he is the one that showed you what doesn’t work so that you can meet someone new who is?
Having this mindset will make it a lot easier to deal with rejections.
But what also helps is staying busy, which I will talk about in a second:
7) Get busy with your own life
If you want to win him over, get busy with your own life.
Try to get yourself busy with your own life and do things that you enjoy.
Try to find activities that you enjoy and focus on those. Find hobbies, sports, or events that you would like to participate in. Try to find things that you are passionate about, and you will meet new people along the way who share your interests.
You will be able to find people who are compatible with you and who are the right people for you.
You will be able to meet people who you can have friendships with and who you can potentially have romantic relationships with.
And the best part?
You won’t feel so hung up on this guy anymore.
You see, when you get busy with your own life you are making yourself more attractive which might heighten the chance of being with him in the future, but you are also moving on.
Speaking of moving on:
8) Focus on meeting new people who could become your friends/partners
If you want to win him over or simply deal with the rejection in a better way, focus on meeting new people who could become your friends/partners.
Try to go out more often and meet new people. You can do so through your hobbies, your interests, and through social media.
You can also do so by going out to bars, clubs, or other events where you can meet new people.
You can be open to meeting new people who could become your friends or partners.
Try to meet people who are compatible with you and who are the right people for you.
This will not only make things easier for you, but it will also show you that in the end, there are plenty of fish in the sea!
When we are hyperfocused on a person, we tend to forget about the people who are a good match for us.
But when we allow ourselves to meet new people who could become a good match for us, our focus becomes more relaxed and we eventually find someone who is compatible with us.
That is why after you have been rejected, go back out and try to meet new people. It takes a lot of pressure off of yourself and helps you get over it faster.
But if you still can’t get your mind off of him, my next point might help you out.
9) See if something is holding him back
If you want to win him over, see if something is holding him back. Try to understand what he is afraid of and why he doesn’t want to commit.
If he is afraid of commitment, you can try to reassure him that you are not asking him to marry you.
You can try to reassure him that you just want to ease into things.
If he is still hesitant, there could be something holding him back.
It could be something he hasn’t told you about yet. You can try to give him the time and space he needs to open up to you.
Try to be patient and understand that he is taking his time because he wants to do it correctly.
There are many things that could be holding him back, fear of commitment only being one of them.
Maybe he is afraid of losing your friendship in case the relationship doesn’t work out.
Maybe he is afraid of hurting you.
Maybe he doesn’t know what kind of person you are.
Maybe he feels like you are better off with someone else than him. (This could be the case if he isn’t the right guy for you.)
There are tons of reasons why he might be holding back, and you could try to figure out what it is in order to give yourselves a chance.
If nothing works, this next point is always an option:
10) Try to keep up the friendship if you want
If you want to keep up the friendship, try to do so if you want.
You can do it if you really want to and if he is willing to do so.
You can do it if you want to get to know him better and if you want to see if he will change his mind about you in the future.
However, think about this in advance. Do you feel ready to have a friendship with this guy?
If your feelings are very strong, then being friends with him might be hard for you.
If you really want to keep up the friendship and it still happens to work out, then that is great! But if it doesn’t work out, then there is no harm done.
You can always get back to being friends with him if you want to in the future because as I previously said, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Give yourself some space to heal if that is what you need.
In order for a friendship to even work, though, you need to stop taking this personally!
11) Don’t take it personally
The last thing you should be doing is taking this personally.
If you find yourself getting too angry and frustrated, that is a sign that you have taken it personally.
That means that you are taking his rejection more personally than he is.
You cannot take his rejection to heart because he is not the one who hurt you in the first place! He was simply being honest about where he stands right now.
You are just being insecure about your own feelings for him.
Don’t let your emotions get to you so much that it affects your mood.
When you take things personally, your self-esteem will take a hit, which is never a good thing.
Instead, try to understand that this is not so much about you as it is about him. He just isn’t ready to take the next step with you. It is not a reflection of you or your worth as a person!
To make this rejection easier, you could try coming back to reality a bit more:
12) Imagine the reality of a relationship with him
Oftentimes, when we have a crush on someone, we totally idealize them in our minds and it affects us in a bad way.
This is not the way you should be thinking when it comes to him.
Instead, try to imagine the reality of a relationship with him.
You have to remember that reality is always a bit worse than what we imagine in our heads.
Somehow, this “idealized” version of him will start to show flaws and things that will be difficult.
Sure, at first glance he might seem perfect, but putting him on a pedestal will not do either of you any good in the end.
You need to see him in a realistic light instead of an idealized one. Otherwise, you will become too attached to him and it might be difficult for you to let go of him.
Even though he might seem perfect in your head, he is not going to be perfect when you finally end up being a couple.
When we idealize someone in our heads, we tend to get hurt when things don’t work out, so try to at least get a bit real about who he is and what a relationship with him would look like!
It never hurts to feel a bit better about yourself in the process:
13) Discover your own gifts and strengths
When you try to get over the fact that a guy doesn’t want a relationship, one thing that can pull you out of that hole is your own confidence and strength.
Are there any other areas in life that you are confident about? Also, are there any other areas in your life where you have been strong?
Maybe you are a strong person because of the way that you handled something in the past.
Maybe you have always been confident about your schoolwork.
Perhaps you have always had a good sense of humor that people liked about you, or maybe even a talent for an instrument or sport that someone might be jealous of.
Discovering your own gifts and strengths can remind you of what an absolute catch you are and that anyone would be lucky to have you!
Working on yourself is something that is good for a lot of reasons, but in this case, it will help your confidence.
This is not about putting another guy down or about saying that he does not have the same kind of gifts and strengths that you have.
This is about realizing that his rejection is not a reflection of your worth and amazing qualities!
And if you need a refresher on how amazing you are, talk to some friends! This leads me to my next point:
14) Open up to friends about what is going on
If you have a trusted friend, talk to them about what is going on. That’s what friends are for!
Talk to someone that you know will understand where you’re coming from and who will listen to your feelings without judging you.
Opening up to someone that you trust can really help you get through this difficult time in your life.
They will be able to see both sides of this situation, so they can give some great insight into the situation and help you realize things about him that you might not have thought of before.
Plus, they will be there to reassure you that you are a great person and that someone will one day want to date you.
Just talking about how you feel might help alleviate some of the pressure and get you to move on in your life.
Try to keep this in mind the next time you feel lonely or sad because sometimes all we need is simply a listening ear.
And maybe they’ll even help you to understand what I’m about to talk about, which might be the most important point of them all:
15) Realize that someone who doesn’t want to be with you is deeply unattractive
For some reason, things have shifted in our society where we are often attracted to the people who reject us and end up chasing them.
But when you truly think about it, this is pretty messed up! Why would you be attracted to someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
You deserve a man who worships the ground you walk on and who is grateful every single day to call you his queen.
Now: when you want to be with this guy so badly and he doesn’t even want a relationship with you, it’s not hard to figure out how badly you’ll be treated a few months or years into the relationship.
Your standards need to be higher than just a good-looking person, no matter how many other things there are that set him apart from the rest.
This is honestly difficult because it requires a lot of inner work.
Ask yourself why you are so hell-bent on convincing someone to love you. Why do you feel the need to convince people of your worth?
Why can’t you just believe that you are inherently worthy and that the right guy will love you just the way you are without needing to be convinced?
These questions can be triggering, I know, but they are important.
Think about why you think this way and then try to work on it.
If you really want a relationship, don’t chase someone who doesn’t want to be with you! That’s not how relationships work! And it will only make you suffer in the end.
As you can see, there are many things you can do in order to deal with this difficult situation.
I truly believe that the most important part is what I talked about in the end: Why do you even feel the need to convince someone to love you who already told you he’s not interested?
But of course, it’s okay if you still feel that attraction, I simply want you to get curious, you might have a few breakthroughs along the way!
Remember that you deserve the world and that no matter what, this situation is nothing personal!