Long distance relationships are tricky.
In fact, they’re probably the trickiest kind of relationship you can have as a young adult.
And that means something different for both of you.
For some people, it means a couple hours in the car or on a train.
For others, it could mean a plane ride that lasts several hours and numerous stops in between.
But no matter what kind of distance you have, it can still be challenging.
Read more to find out why LDRs almost never work and how to cope with this weird situation if it happens to you.
1) You’re always wondering if they’re cheating on you.
The biggest issue with long distance relationships is that you’re always wondering if your partner is cheating on you.
You’re always second-guessing your relationship and constantly questioning whether or not you can trust them.
That’s why it’s important to keep an eye on the other person.
If they’re spending a lot of time alone, or out of the house, then there’s a good chance that they’re cheating on you.
Don’t be afraid to confront them about it and ask them to prove their love for you.
They may surprise you and tell you that they have been honest with you from the start.
One key to a successful long distance relationship is communication.
You should also try to keep contact with each other as frequently as possible, even if it means calling them every day or even hourly if that is what it takes for things to work out.
However, if you really want a relationship, it’s better that you don’t settle for a long distance relationship because it can be an emotionally draining experience.
2) You never get to see them in person.
You never get to see them in person.
Spending time with someone via text or Skype is different from being face-to-face.
There’s no way to truly know what kind of person they are, and how they like to be treated.
A lot of people assume that a long distance relationship means that the two people are deeply in love, but that isn’t always the case.
It could just mean that they want to spend more time with each other, but are too busy with work, family, and other commitments to make it happen.
Regardless of what the reason is, long distance relationships can be difficult if you don’t know how to handle them properly.
In order to have a healthy relationship, it’s important to set clear boundaries, respect each other’s personal space and communication preferences, and take time for yourself so that you can keep your feelings in check when things get tough.
3) You have to trust them completely.
For example, you can’t trust them to tell the truth if they say something bad about you.
Or if they say they have a relative that is ill, but they don’t.
Or if they are even just late.
No matter what happens, you have to trust that they aren’t doing anything wrong or lying to you.
And that is hard to do.
Some may resort to investigating and checking their partner’s phone records and email accounts to find out if their partners are cheating on them.
And this will surely raise trust issues and will ultimately lead to more fights, misunderstandings and eventually, a break up.
4) It’s hard to communicate effectively.
Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain, because it’s hard to communicate effectively.
Long distance relationships can be very frustrating, especially if you’re not used to long-distance living or don’t have good communication skills.
If you and your partner live far away from each other, you might miss important milestones in your relationship.
For example, if you both get a new job, you might be too busy to go visit your partner.
Or if one of you moves away, it could be harder for you to stay in touch.
There are also practical problems that come with long-distance relationships.
One of the biggest is money.
Even if you spend less on groceries, rent and utilities, you will still need money for transportation and entertainment.
Long-distance relationships can also be hard for children.
Kids need consistency in their lives, which is difficult to provide when they have different schedules every week or month.
Finally, long-distance relationships can be emotionally draining.
You may feel lonely and disconnected from your partner because they are physically separated from you.
It’s common to worry whether the distance will keep you apart forever, or if one day you will wake up and realize that everything has changed because of distance.
5) You miss out on physical intimacy.
A long distance relationship is not a healthy way to be in a relationship.
Not only do you miss out on the physical intimacy that comes with being together, but you also miss out on having someone to talk to and confide in, someone who can help you through the tough times.
Plus, if you’re both working long hours or are otherwise busy all day, it can be hard to make time for each other when you get home.
Long distance relationships don’t work because you can’t see your partner often.
Also, you don’t have enough time to build trust and comfort with your partner.
6) You can’t just drop everything and see each other when you want.
A lot of people dream of finding their soulmate and living happily ever after.
But if you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s very difficult to do that.
You can’t just drop everything and see each other when you want.
Instead, you have to plan ahead, schedule your time together, and give each other space when necessary.
If you don’t take these steps, it’s almost impossible to make a relationship work long distance.
Once you’ve decided to give a long distance relationship a try, the most important thing is communication.
You have to talk regularly so that you can feel comfortable with each other and understand what’s going on in each other’s lives.
Even if your relationship starts out strong, things can change over time.
And if they do, you’ll be better prepared if you’re able to talk about them openly and honestly.
7) You have to be more organized and structured with your time.
The key to a successful long distance relationship is being organized and structured with your time.
The more you can plan and be organized, the better off you’ll be in a long distance relationship.
For example, if you always have to work late or come home early because of your job, it will be difficult to schedule time with your partner.
This will result in an unhappy partner, who may even start looking for a new romantic partner.
When it comes to planning, there are three main things that can help: scheduling dates and times when both of you are available; maintaining regular communication; and having a clear idea of what each person wants from the relationship.
Try to make sure that you’re both on the same page so that you don’t waste time trying to figure out what each other wants when it’s already obvious that neither of you know what they want!
Finally, being organized means being prepared for all kinds of situations, not just the ones that come up right away.
8) You get jealous of their time with other people.
An aspect of jealousy that is often overlooked is the fact that we often feel jealous when our partner spends time with others, even if those others are platonic friends.
If you feel jealous about your partner’s time with friends, you may have a problem with trust.
When you don’t trust your partner, it can be difficult to think clearly and make sure that your needs are being met.
Furthermore, it can make it harder to communicate and compromise on issues, which naturally leads to conflict.
We actually want them to prefer spending time with us over spending time with other people because this means they like us more than them.
And if they prefer spending time with other people, then they must not like us as much as we thought they did!
This is why long distance relationships don’t work: you get jealous of their time with other people.
9) You start to resent them for not being there.
The most likely reason for a long distance relationship to not work is because you start to resent them for not being there.
You can’t see them enough, and when you do see them, you’re tired and over it.
It’s hard to keep up the enthusiasm when you’re tired, and it’s harder still when one person is always on the road.
When you start feeling resentful, things will inevitably get worse before they get better.
There are a few things that can help keep a long distance relationship from turning into a resentment fest.
One is to try to keep in touch as much as possible.
The more often you see each other, the more likely you are to be on the same page about important things like future plans and vacations.
Another thing is just to make sure that both people are committed to keeping the relationship going.
10) You wonder if it’s worth all the effort.
One of the biggest ifs in any relationship is whether it’s worth it.
With distance between you, you have to make sure that you’re both committed to spending time together.
Since neither of you can physically see each other all the time, it’s easy to get bored or lose track of what your priorities are.
It’s not just about the physical distance between you; you also have to be on the same page about what would make things work for you.
Are you looking for someone who is willing to relocate so that things can work out?
Or do you need someone who is more flexible and able to be at home when things aren’t going well?
Whatever it is that makes a long distance relationship work, it has to be something both of you are willing to put up with in order for it to succeed.
11) You start to doubt yourself and your relationship.
In a long distance relationship, you start doubting yourself and your relationship.
You start wondering if you’re making a mistake or not.
You start questioning whether or not your partner really loves you, or if they’re cheating on you or if you’re just being paranoid.
In addition to all of that, the distance makes it harder for you to know how your partner is feeling.
So how do you avoid these pitfalls?
First of all, talk about it!
Don’t keep things bottled up inside and let it fester.
Be honest about what you want and need from the relationship, and let your partner know what they can do to keep it healthy.
It also helps to be realistic about your situation:
Is there any way that this could be possible?
If so, then why not make use of those opportunities?
12) The novelty of the relationship wears off.
You get the sinking feeling that this person isn’t as into you as they seemed at the beginning. What happened?
The novelty of the relationship wore off.
If a relationship is new enough, it might take some time for the excitement of meeting each other to wear off.
In a new city where there are lots of new things to explore and experience, it can be hard for people to settle into routine and find time for each other.
It also takes time for people to feel comfortable with each other and open up about their feelings.
This can happen at any stage of the relationship, but especially early on when there aren’t yet many shared experiences or routines to make it feel like home.
13) You realize that you’re not compatible after all.
If you’re in a long distance relationship, you know that being apart is hard.
But what you may not realize is that it can also be tough on your relationship.
After all, it’s tough to maintain a close bond when you’re thousands of miles apart.
And it can be even harder if you’re on different schedules or have different lifestyles.
Even if you don’t mind the distance, there’s no guarantee that your partner will be willing to make those sacrifices.
And if they are, they may not understand why you want them to change.
All of these can cause problems in your relationship. But there are ways to keep things from getting worse.
First, stay positive and try to see the positives in your relationship.
You could both be working toward a common goal, for example. Or maybe one of you likes long walks on the beach while the other prefers going to the gym.
Maybe one of you has a favorite coffee shop while the other prefers Starbucks.
Whatever the case may be, find something good to focus on so that your relationship stays strong despite the distance.
Second, communicate as much as possible – even if it’s just an email here and there when you have time between appointments or after work hours.
Conclusion
If you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s possible you’re still getting to know your partner – or you’ve already known them for a while.
Either way, it can be hard to know what to do when you’re so far away from your loved one that you might not be able to reach them.
It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the distance, but you don’t have to use that as an excuse to walk away from your relationship.
You can make it work if you try.
But that raises the question:
Why does love so often start out great, only to become a nightmare?
And what’s the solution to a long distance relationship?
The answer is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.
I learned about this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love, and become truly empowered.
As Rudá explains in this mind-blowing free video, love is not what many of us think it is. In fact, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!
We need to face the facts about LDR:
Far too often we chase an idealized image of someone and build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.
Far too often we fall into codependent roles of savior and victim to try to “fix” our partner, only to end up in a miserable, bitter routine.
Far too often, we are on shaky ground with our own selves and this carries over into toxic relationships that become hell on earth.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to deal with a long distance relationship.
If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships, and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.
Click here to watch the free video.
