It’s heartbreaking to love someone who doesn’t love you back.
It’s even worse when you know that this person is doing more than just rejecting you – they’re like a bad influence on your life and dragging you down into the depths of negativity.
But then, sometimes people don’t realize how much they can hurt others by not loving them in return.
So here are 9 ways to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back – so that you can move on to better things.
1) Acknowledge your feelings
A lot of times, when people realize that they’ve been hurt, they get angry and want to prove to the other person that they don’t love them anymore. This is so understandable when you’ve been through a painful situation.
You may be thinking, “How can I stop loving someone who doesn’t love me back? How am I supposed to do that?”
Well, the first step is admitting that you are upset. You are allowed to choose how much you love someone.
But you can’t just stop loving, that instant. At least acknowledge your feelings first.
Denial is never the answer – it’s only going to make your situation harder in the long run.
Let me tell you that acceptance is key here.
Love is not a choice you make. It’s an emotion that just happens to you. So acknowledge and accept your feelings for what they are. Don’t pretend that you don’t love this person when deep down, you still do.
You will only hurt yourself more in the process.
2) Use visualization to let go of the feelings
Visualization has been used by many people to help themselves deal with negative emotions.
The technique is simple: picture yourself in a place where your loved one is not there – physically or emotionally.
It could be at work, in your favorite place, or wherever you go when you need peace and quiet.
Let yourself feel the stress of this love – the pain of the heartbreak and the burden of loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
Feel all the negative feelings and then, let them all out.
You see, when you constantly picture a future without them and how you can be happy, it will eventually make that future a reality.
But don’t try to force yourself to forget about them. You don’t have to go out of your way and forget about this person like they never existed in the first place.
If you do this, I guarantee that you will still think about them, if not daily, then a lot.
This is because you’re holding on to them so tightly. You are holding on to the memories of when they did love you back, even if just for a little while.
Visualization is like opening up your blocked thoughts, so it’s better to take things slow – and in steps.
Think about it: Visualization lets your mind know that you don’t need to love this person anymore. And your heart will follow, in time.
3) Stop hanging out with them
The next step to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back is to stop hanging out with that person.
They need to realize what their actions are doing to you, and how much it hurts you.
If they’re not going to learn from the other aspects of this article, then at least they’ll learn from the fact that you’re not going to be around anymore.
When you cut off contact with someone, they’ll start to feel that they have lost you.
“Why should I stay in a relationship where I’m not being loved?” is something that stopped being a good question years ago. Who should really care about your emotions?
It’s not the person you love that you should be thinking of – it’s yourself. That’s why it is important to stop loving them, so that you can fully love and be loved by someone who will love you back.
If you need more motivation, imagine how much worse the pain would be if this person was your lover.
I know it will give you the boost you need to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back, and better yet: move on from them.
Try to distance yourself from this person in every single way possible.
As if that’s not enough, cut off all means of communication with them: block them from social media, out of your phone’s contact list, delete their number.
Tell them you’re busy this week – that way, they’ll figure out that you’re cutting them off. It’s a less hurtful way of doing it.
Just remember not to get into an argument with them.
If they try to reach out to you, don’t respond and don’t give in after a few days. Just keep your distance and stay silent until they can’t do anything about it.
Give yourself enough time to heal by not being with them, and to truly feel that you are capable of loving someone who will love you back.
4) Stop the obsessive behavior
Obsessive behavior also hinders you from moving on. If you’re obsessing about this person all the time and looking for signs that they love you back, you’re only hurting yourself.
You see, when you look for a sign that this person is ready to love you back, it just means that there’s hope for your relationship.
But if that time never comes and they don’t love you back, the hope will turn into despair. You will feel the pain of the betrayal and this will make you stay in the relationship, just to avoid that pain.
You may feel like you’re spending too much time looking for signs that they love you, but you still need to let go.
One love doesn’t define your whole life – no matter how long it lasts.
Eventually, when your vision turns into a blur as they refuse to show what they’re thinking or feeling, look forward to moving on.
If you don’t get any response from the person (and you’re sure that they know that you like them), don’t try to force yourself on them.
Once you’ve acknowledged how you feel, stop contacting them and hoping that they will eventually show interest in you. It’s not going to happen.
Let it go.
5) Be with the right people
The best way to move on from the pain of loving the person who doesn’t love you back is to surround yourself with positive people in your life.
How you can heal when you’re feeling bad about something is to surround yourself with people who will lift you up.
By now, you should already know that loving someone who doesn’t love you back is bad for your health, mentally, physicall and emotionally – it will definitely take some time to heal.
Share your feelings with someone who you can trust, and ask them how they feel. They will be able to tell you what you need to hear.
It’s true, if you have someone who is willing to listen to you, you will be able to move on a lot faster.
If you don’t have anyone in your life who can listen to your thoughts, then try posting it somewhere online.
For example, if you have a blog site, or if you post responses on Facebook. You’ll be surprised at the reactions that you’ll get from readers who are willing to listen and encourage you.
But don’t overdo it: Give yourself time to heal and time to think about better things than this person.
When you’ve found someone who can truly listen to you, tell them how you feel and let them be there for you.
They will notice when something’s up and maybe, they can give advice, or just let you let out all these emotions you are feeling. If all else fails, talk about your feelings with someone else who is not physically close to this person.
You’re going to be there for a while, and you will want to be around other people who lift you up too.
A lot of it is just being around the right people and going out regularly. Keep doing both.
6) Focus on yourself
You have to have that realization that you put a lot of energy into a relationship that didn’t give it back – so at this point, you need to move on with your life and focus on yourself.
If you’re constantly busy thinking about them, it’s definitely going to be hard for you to even move on.
So focus on yourself and how you can improve yourself:
- Be the person you want to be.
- Play some sports or go jogging or something else that activates your mind and helps you clear your thoughts.
- Read books and blogs, watch movies, surf the internet – do something that will completely take your attention away from thinking about the person you’re trying to let go. Nothing can cleanse a mind like a good read.
- Learn a new skill – singing, drawing, painting, dance, cooking… whatever you can do as a form of art.
- Make some friends that will become great people in your life.
Keep yourself busy. Do whatever you can to feel confident again.
The more confident you are in yourself and what life has to offer you, the less likely you’ll be thinking about someone who doesn’t love you back.
Letting go won’t come easy at first.
This doesn’t mean that you have to stop caring about them, though. You may still have the chance to finally get through to them when they need someone who cares about them.
You can also get your mind off the things by focusing on other things that you need to work on.
Once you let go, the chances of getting hurt will be reduced. So start letting go by putting yourself first, and if it doesn’t happen quickly enough for your liking, the universe will give you more time to let go just as required.
7) Stop blaming yourself
When you blame yourself because someone doesn’t love you back, it will only make you feel guilty.
But this doesn’t mean that you’re at fault. You need to let go of the guilt and just focus on yourself.
You don’t have to be perfect and you shouldn’t try to force yourself on someone – that’s a surefire way of having a negative outcome in your life.
The worst part of blaming yourself is that you feel like you’re worthless – and this will only make it harder for you to move on.
Don’t think about the time that has already gone by, just think about what’s next: What will happen once you let go of this person?
You have to remember that your thoughts become actions. Stop thinking about what happened and start thinking about what lies ahead.
You won’t be able to take care of yourself if you blame yourself for something that you can’t really change.
8) Move on and do something you love
And this is the most important thing – what you love.
If you’re passionate about something, it will motivate you to move on at a faster rate; this will keep yourself from missing them (which is the worst thing that can happen) and it will also give you a sense of purpose in life – these are two things that help make people happy.
If you love something, you will be happy and content with what your life has to offer.
This is the time to find and do something you are passionate about – so if you can’t find something to do, start doing something that you already know about.
Start a blog or a project, or start your own business – anything that keeps your mind off of this person you’re trying to let go of.
Start doing things that are productive and make you happy, because when you’re happy, there’s a big chance that everything else will fall into place.
When people find out what they love to do, they get so excited to share it with the world.
Find something that really excites you and get involved with it – do things that will make you feel loved and cared for.
Surround yourself with people who are just as enthusiastic about what they are doing as you are, and who can talk to you about it every now and then.
Life is short, so don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t love you back.
9) Tell yourself that you deserve better
And this is the final step to all of this – telling yourself that you deserve better.
People who have fallen in love and let go of someone they love, they aren’t perfect by any means.
They can say that they don’t feel the same way anymore and their mind isn’t filled with thoughts like theirs anymore – but that’s only because they have moved on to a new person that makes them feel good and happy; at least, for now.
You don’t know what they’re really like and their actions are not healthy for you.
With this, you know that what you’re going through is not fair.
By telling yourself that you deserve better, it will give you more motivation to push on and towards moving on from this person.
This will keep calling to you at the most random of times, even in the most mundane situations; it will be there, reminding you of what you deserve.
Start reminding yourself how important your own happiness is – after all, that’s all that matters in life, your happiness.
You deserve some happiness.
You deserve love – and someone who is going to treat you right.
Final words
The one who doesn’t love you back might never love you the way you want, but that doesn’t mean that there’s no hope.
There’s always the chance to move on and be a pioneer to create your own happiness.
You have to let go of the past and think about what lies ahead for you, not what was done in the past.
You can do everything that you love and still end up with someone who doesn’t love you back, but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to let go.
You will be ok, in time, and there will be someone for you to love more than ever.
Move on and start living a new life – where you are loved and appreciated by others, where your mind is filled with happiness and love, and where you are creating something of your own that makes you happy.
