An ex contacting you after getting into a new relationship is something that can leave you baffled.
Why would they reach out to someone they no longer have a connection with?
What is their motive behind doing this and why are they doing it?
Here are 10 possible reasons why your ex might be in touch again while in a new relationship.
1) Your ex still has strong feelings for you.
After a while with his current girlfriend, your ex realizes that you are the most suitable for him but no one else.
The feeling he had with you is still stronger than the current feeling.
Your ex misses the way things used to be when he fell in love with you.
Maybe in the past, you brought him a comfortable and happy feeling that his current girlfriend cannot bring for him.
Maybe he realizes that he has made a big mistake when breaking up with you.
As a result, he finds ways to contact you and rekindle the old romance.
And then maybe he will express his wish to hook up with you again.
Your ex wants to be close to you again and would do anything to get a second chance at being in your life.
The best thing you can do is be respectful of your ex’s emotions and treat them with kindness and understanding.
Once they realize that you are no longer dating them, they will stop trying to bother you.
2) Your ex lost interest in his current relationship and is looking for a way out.
In this situation, he could be seeing someone else, feeling like he has no options, or simply growing apart from his current girlfriend.
And you are the one he turns to confide.
He may contact you to do things like talking negatively about his girlfriend or the relationship itself.
In some cases, your ex just sees you as a place to relieve the boredom that he has in his current relationship.
You are one of the many ways he has to let him not get bored.
And when he doesn’t lose interest anymore, he will immediately stop contacting you.
However, in other cases, his lost interest is a sign of his wish to come back with you.
In this situation, you need to be honest about how you feel and what you want.
While the reasons in this article will help you deal with your ex’s contact when he has a girlfriend, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like when your ex approaches you when he is not single. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
3) Your ex wants you to know he’s found someone else so you don’t waste your time waiting around
This case will happen if your ex is the one who wanted to break up with you and he knows you are still in love with him.
When a couple breaks up, it can be hard for the person who was left behind.
They may feel sad and lonely.
When your ex finds a new partner, he might directly contact you and tell you about it.
He wants you to understand that you and him are no longer in a relationship. He’s got someone new and so should you.
Maybe in the past, he was not a good boyfriend, and now he wants you to leave everything behind, no longer think about him, and have a better life.
He reaches out hoping that will make things better.
Any person who has ever been in a relationship knows that breaking up is never easy.
There are endless emotions involved, and it can be difficult to deal with all of the feelings that come along with it.
But now, after getting to know about your ex, you don’t have to waste your time waiting around for something that might never happen anyway.
You deserve better than that.
4) Your ex wants to flaunt his new relationship in front of you
He wants to show off his new girlfriend in front of you.
He might try to make a big deal about how happy he is.
By flaunting his new relationship, your ex could be trying to make you jealous and feel bad about yourself.
Flaunting a new relationship can make you feel insecure and make it more difficult for you to trust him again.
They’re always calling or texting you, bringing up how long their girlfriend/boyfriend is “missing” them.
They’re sending you pictures of their new boo and sometimes asking for updates on your relationship.
He will show his reassurance that he made the right decision letting go of you.
His action of flaunting his new relationship could make you question your own value as a person and actually hurt you in the end.
We all want to feel loved and when our ex starts acting like they have no reason to stay with us, we might feel like we are not worth anything.
Be aware of this behavior and take steps to avoid giving him any more attention than he’s already getting.
This kind of behavior is never acceptable, and you should put an immediate stop to it.
5) Your ex is jealous of your current relationship
In case you are having someone to love, your ex can be jealous of your current relationship.
If you are currently seeing someone, he may try to sabotage the relationship by trying to break up the two of you.
The reason for your ex’s jealousy is when seeing you with another person, it reminds him of his own lost love, even though he’s also in a new relationship now.
He may feel like they are losing you to another person.
He not only contacts you and disturbs your relationship, but also he could do anything like making up bad stories about you and your new boyfriend.
How to deal with this kind of person?
You need to frankly talk to him and make it clear that you do not belong to him.
He has no right to ruin your life, your happiness.
Tell him to leave everything in the past, he should look to the future with the one he is dating now.
More importantly, you should also prove your love for your current lover, don’t let this have an impact on your relationship.
6) Your ex is trying to make his current partner jealous
By using a variety of tactics, your ex can try to make his current partner jealous.
One of the most common ways that an ex tries to make his partner jealous is by trying to “win” back his old partner, is you.
This could mean sending texts or emails or calling you constantly.
Of course, if this type of behavior becomes too much, it could backfire and make the new partner feel like an unwanted stalker.
It’s important to remember that an ex will only want what’s best for their current relationship.
He contacts you and makes his girlfriend jealous in order to solve some problems that he has with his partner.
Some possible reasons are his partner is often angry, she is too demanding, she does not care much about him,…
He thinks that this way can help him show his worth and make his girlfriend appreciate him and change the way he wants.
Whatever the case may be, it is always best to stay away from exes who are trying to make their current partners jealous.
He just sees you as a tool to make his girlfriend more suitable for him.
You will only end up feeling bad about yourself and it will only cause more pains in your heart.
7) Your ex has already broken up with his girlfriend
When he suddenly contacts you, it is possible that your ex is no longer in a relationship with his girlfriend.
So, when he’s finished with his partner and is ready to move on with another one, he’ll probably come looking for you if he knows how much you liked him.
Now he is single, so he can feel free to text or call you every day.
Maybe he simply sees you as someone to fill the void left by his girlfriend.
And when he moves on with another girl, he disappears.
In the end, the one who gets hurt will be you.
Again, you’re single and he’s happy with someone new.
So, if you can figure out what he’s contacting you for, don’t give him a chance to hurt you again.
In another situation, maybe after dating another girl, he finds that you are the one he needs.
He wants to have you again.
What should you do?
- Keep calm and see if he is really into you.
- Question your heart, and identify the feeling you are having with him.
- Remember that love again is not as easy as first love. It could make you happier but also could hurt you a thousand times.
If you want to get back together but this time in a happier, more committed relationship, it’s simple:
Rewrite the story of your relationship.
Show him that this time around things will be different. Change the way he sees you and allow him to picture a brand new relationship with you.
This is much more effective than trying to convince him that what you had before was worth going back to.
I learned this from relationship expert James Bauer. In this excellent video, he’ll give you step-by-step methods to get your ex back, including simple but powerful texts and phrases you can use.
So if you want to give things another chance, but this time with a breath of fresh air and a healthier relationship outlook, don’t hesitate to check out James’ advice.
Here’s a link to the free video once again.
8) Ex always wants what he can’t have
After breaking up with him, you learn to love yourself more.
You are gradually different from when you love him. Day by day, you become more beautiful and attractive.
Your ex might see you through your post on social media or through his friends’ telling. A man always wants more than he has.
Your ex wants you as his backup plan while he has his girlfriend.
We all know, this type of man is bad. No matter how his girlfriend feels, he likes the feeling of winning your heart back. He will try to talk and show interest in you.
When this is the case, you need to be very alert to not give him the opportunity to approach you.
It not only hurt you but also hurt his current girlfriend.
9) Your ex needs help from you or your family
Among many reasons that lead to your ex-contact, the case that cannot be ignored is that he needs help.
He has no friends or someone special that is close enough for him to ask a favor.
After all, you are the one who has been by his side and understands him the most.
Maybe in this situation, he couldn’t share with his current girlfriend, so he came to you.
I know it’s going to be awkward but think thoroughly before deciding whether to help him or not.
Do not rule out the case that he takes advantage of your feelings to deceive you.
In fact, there have been many such cases, so please consider carefully.
10) It’s all about sex
It could be because he’s feeling disconnected from his new partner, or he’s not feeling attracted to her, or he’s having trouble getting aroused.
He misses the moment being with you, so he contacts you to satisfy his need.
For me, you shouldn’t accept his request. It is not good for you as well as his girlfriend.
You must know that he’s making fools of you and her. He comes when he wants and leaves when he doesn’t.
So, it’s best to ignore his texts and calls and move on with your life.
Conclusion
It can be hard to understand the reasons why your ex is contacting you while they are already in a relationship, but now you know some of them.
Also, you know how to handle it and most importantly what not to do, you can finally get back to your life happily.
It is important to remember that the best way to get over an ex is to move on so you don’t keep replaying the same painful scenario in your head.
