We’ve all been there.
You’re in a long-distance relationship, and one day you find out your significant other is getting shipped off across an ocean.
The only problem?
So here are 10 things you need to know when breaking up because of distance, and deep down you are still in love with that person..
This post will offer some advice for anyone who is considering a breakup because of distance.
1) There are other reasons to break up besides just distance
What do we mean?
It’s a little weird to think of long-distance relationships being “The” reason people break up.
It’s important to realize that while distance can be a big factor in breaking up, it’s important not to make it the only one.
If you’re only breaking up with your partner because they live too far away, you might be making a mistake.
There are many reasons why a relationship might not work out, but distance is only one of them.
If you can’t seem to get past your partner’s location and still feel like you’re making progress, it might be time to call things off.
Distance can be overcome with enough effort, but other issues – like incompatible personalities, incompatible goals, or incompatible schedules – are much less easily resolved.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you must be very flexible and adaptable – being with your partner can be like trying to arrange a visit with a person who lives in another country!
Overcoming distance isn’t impossible, but it does require compromise, communication, and dedication.
2) What are some big mistakes people make when in a long-distance relationship?
Some of the biggest mistakes people make when in a long-distance relationship are:
- Not communicating enough or having unrealistic expectations about communication.
- Not being willing to compromise for each other.
- Not putting in the effort and work that is required to maintain a long-distance relationship.
- One common thing that can cause issues in relationships is the ‘honeymoon phase’.
When you first start dating someone, the excitement, newness, and ‘honeymoon phase’ can be overwhelming.
The two of you will be so wrapped up in each other that it can be easy to forget about everything else going on in your lives.
However, this can also create a sense of unrealistic expectations for what the relationship is actually like once the ‘honeymoon phase’ ends.
3) Long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain
Well, it’s true!
Most people know that, but few long-distance couples can actually commit to the degree of effort required for a long-distance relationship to be successful.
Distance makes it harder for couples to build and maintain trust, communication, and excitement about the relationship, but it is possible!
It can be hard to deal with issues that arise when you’re always rushing about in your own time zone and your partner’s time zone.
And, what’s more?
Burdensome situations can arise if one person has to work late or start late – things that typically occur much earlier during a relationship.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship and your partner suddenly becomes ill, it could throw off the entire schedule and likely create some tension between the two of you.
You might find that while your long-distance relationship is a lot of fun at the moment, it quickly becomes work – with little time to devote to other people who are also living far away.
4) Timing is everything
One of the biggest reasons why long-distance relationships are challenging is that there are so many different variables at play.
If one person moves or gets shipped off to a country on the other side of the world, it can take months before you’re able to do anything about seeing them again.
This is only made worse by the fact that time zones create an incompatibility in schedules.
This means that if one person is working and the other is not, it will be difficult to find the time during which both can meet.
In a long-distance relationship, it’s sometimes difficult to schedule romantic dates (or even simple coffee dates).
You just can’t plan anything around your schedule with someone so far away.
And while you might think you will work things out, what may happen is that one of you may get tired of waiting every week for their partner to start making plans.
5) You shouldn’t feel bad about your decision
I know it’s hard to admit that a long-distance relationship didn’t work.
You may well have invested a lot of time and energy into making the relationship work, especially if you were forced to make certain sacrifices in order for the relationship to succeed.
I’m not going to lie; it does sting when a long-distance relationship ends.
It’s natural to feel bad about it, and it’s normal to want to spend more time with your partner (that’s actually impossible at this stage).
However, don’t feel like you’ve done anything wrong.
It might be uncommon, but there are many reasons why two people might not end up working out.
Let’s be honest about your decision.
It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away.
But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are.
I learned about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what trap us in things like breaking up because of distance
As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves.
We need to face the facts about breaking up and love.
The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty.
The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to resolve things like your problem
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to the breaking up because of distance.
If you’re done with wasting your time on love that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities.
Click here to watch the free video.
6) If you want to stay friends, make that clear from the start
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you probably know how hard it is to maintain one.
But if you wish to stay friends with your ex, arrange things so that you can ensure that the breakup is as clean and easy as possible.
Don’t hold back!
It’s natural for people to want to stay friends.
If you’ve been in a long-distance relationship and it has just ended, then you might think that there’s no reason why you can’t stay friends with your ex.
It’s important that you communicate any issues or concerns with your partner – in a respectful manner – before the relationship ends.
You need to make sure that your partner knows that they’re good enough and they won’t be left damaged by the breakup.
7) Learn from your mistakes and move on
Long-distance relationships are often difficult because they require a lot of effort from both people involved.
But you and your partner have nothing to be ashamed of if the relationship didn’t work out, or if you don’t think it would ever have worked out.
Learn from your mistakes and move on.
It’s worth giving a long-distance relationship a try because it can be very rewarding in the long run.
Remember that while this is common – it happens all the time!
It’s normal to feel devastated at the loss of your relationship.
You might be annoyed with your partner for moving on and leaving you behind, or frustrated with yourself for being unable to make it work.
And while you might want to hold on to your ex more than they would like, go ahead and do what you need to do in order to move on and move forward.
8) Check in with your friends — and don’t be ashamed to admit that you need support right now
If you’re in the middle of a long-distance relationship and need support, know that it’s okay to ask for it.
Someone else might be able to offer a shoulder to cry on, words of encouragement and support, or even help in other practical ways.
It’s okay to admit that you have problems right now, as long as it doesn’t involve physical violence or threats.
And remember: don’t be ashamed when reaching out for help.
Let your friends help you to get distracted when things are not going well.
And let them be supporting and caring when the going gets tough.
9) The only thing that is truly certain in life is change
Long-distance relationships are difficult because of all the things we have to give up and assume, things like time (a.k.a. communication), convenience, and routine.
However, it can be done if you’re prepared enough to deal with it and move on after the breakup happens – no matter what the circumstances.
Some people will be lucky enough to find someone who agrees with all of their values – that’s just how life goes sometimes.
However, you can’t predict the future, so don’t put all of your efforts into trying to find that one perfect person.
It’s important to be happy with who you are, and who you are with right now.
This might seem like a lot of work – because it is!
Long-distance relationships are not for the faint-hearted.
10) Don’t be afraid to give yourself time and space before venturing out again in the dating world
I know it’s hard to give yourself space after breaking up, but take it and get it out of your system by doing something that you enjoy.
And it’s okay to give yourself time to heal – especially if the break-up happened recently because of an important reason.
It is important that you don’t allow a breakup to make you feel like you are less than who you are because there is a lot more to who you are than the person you’re in the relationship with.
Know your worth – and know what you’re worth in the eyes of others, as well as yourself, before venturing out again in the dating world.
Remember: The end of this relationship doesn’t mean the end of your love life
You have to accept the fact that this relationship didn‘t work out, and you will have to put an end to it.
You might feel a great loss, but it’s important to remember: you are still a great person!
Letting go of the past and moving on is not always easy.
Whether you’re trying to move on from a failed long-distance relationship or you’re just feeling like you need some time away from your significant other, it can be very hard to do.
I want you to remember that sometimes it’s hard to admit that a relationship just isn’t working and deserves to end, especially if it was a long-distance relationship.
It’s natural to feel hurt and upset when a relationship ends, but you need to remember that life goes on.
You might end up finding the love of your life, having a long-lasting relationship, falling in love all over again, and moving on when you’re ready.
Continue to look for the one person that makes your heart sing; and just remember that all relationships require work – no matter how strong they appear from afar.
It’s okay to take as much time as you need to heal
It’s okay to spend a week, a month, or even a year taking time to heal.
Don’t put off the time you need to recover and heal after the breakup.
You’re a valuable and beautiful person, so give yourself the time to love and be loved.
Take your time, do what’s best for you, and take the time to heal, especially if the breakup happened recently. It’s important to be active and pursue hobbies or other activities that bring you joy.
Be sure to come back strong and be ready to move on.
Long-distance relationships will always have their struggles, but they can also be one of the most enjoyable experiences if you know what you’re doing and have the right person by your side.
Seek out professional help if you need it
That’s what I recently did.
When I was at my worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.
I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.
But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific, and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.
Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with breaking up because of distance too.
Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
Conclusion
Reading this article may or may not help you get over your heartbreak, but the purpose of this article is to provide you with some helpful tips.
Hopefully, these tips will help you to break down your relationship and put it back together again in a way that works for you.
So that’s it!
Emotional sacrifices, ups and downs, arguments, disagreements, and all.
But if you keep coming back to each other in the end, use that as a good starting point to work on your relationship.
If you need professional help, use my way before!
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
I hope that reading this post has helped you to be stronger and more confident when dealing with a breakup.
And as my good friend once said: “Sometimes you have to let your heart heal first so that you can move on and find who you truly are.”
