Ever asked yourself why your ex always comes back when you move on?
And worse, why does he always seem to come back with problems? I have.
And I’ve come up with 18 reasons that might help to explain the situation to make it easier for you to move forward without them.
I don’t want to spoil the surprises for you, so check out these 18 reasons why exes always come back when you move on!
1) They miss the good parts of you
This might seem obvious, but you had good parts too. And that’s why they’re so eager to get back together with you.
When someone is no longer in their life it’s easy to look back with rose-tinted glasses.
Because there’s some good stuff that comes with every relationship.
It’s only natural to miss some of those aspects when they’re gone, even if they were terrible for you.
Yeah, they might be experiencing a lot of negative feelings when they think of you, but there are also some pretty awesome (or at least good) things they miss.
For example: you were probably a great cook, and always took care of your appearance.
Even though it might be hard to admit, you’re all that he misses about their life before they moved away. And so they just can’t seem to let go altogether.
2) They worry about losing their opportunity when you move on
This is another reason why your ex always wants you back.
And it’s a valid one! You’re probably not going to like this one.
If you’re about to move away, something might be keeping them from telling you how they feel.
They’re afraid that once you move on they might never get another chance at the relationship they want again.
They might even be worried that you’ll move on before they have the chance to tell you, so they come back when you do.
Even though they know they probably shouldn’t, they still wish they could be together and have the chance of seeing what could’ve been. And so they find it very hard to let go and move on with their life.
Hence, the reason why exes always come back when you move on – in an effort to salvage whatever’s left of the relationship and provide themselves with a new opportunity.
3) They’re lonely and need companionship
Yeah, it’s true!
And that’s a pretty good reason why exes always come back when you move on.
They’re just lonely and need someone to love!
They actually come back just to fill a gap that’s been left in their life.
They want the connection they had before they moved away and miss out on life.
The reason why they didn’t continue their relationship with you was because there wasn’t enough of that connection when you were together.
And now it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other so that link has weakened.
Right now they’re missing that connection, but when you get back together there’s a much greater chance of it flowing once more.
It is important to note that this doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex loves you any more than before you broke up with them.
4) There’s still sex involved
If you had sex with your ex, then it might be hard for them to get past that.
So if they’ve come back, then it’s probably because they want to rekindle things.
And if that’s the case it’s probably because they want to be together again and not just as friends.
I suppose this one is a little bit of a guilty pleasure twist on number five.
5) They want to test if you’re still into them
This might be the answer you’re looking for.
This is the most common reason why exes always come back when you move on.
They want to test if you’re still interested.
Experimenting by taking steps toward getting back together will teach them whether there’s enough of a connection left to make it worthwhile or not.
But before they can give you their trust again it’s important that they have enough confidence in the relationship that it won’t end up being another painful mistake.
They’ll keep on sending you messages even if they no longer feel the same way about you, just because there’s something to learn from this experience.
They don’t want to confess their feelings just yet, so that’s why they’re trying to see if you’re still interested in them – and if not, whether or not it’s time for them to move on as well.
6) They think you’re their soulmate that they mustn’t lose
I know that’s a cliche, but an ex who comes back to you after you’ve moved on is convinced that you’re the love of their life.
It’s common for an ex to say that they just can’t seem to get over you.
And sometimes it really is true!
They just think that you’re in love and could never find anyone like you again, which means they want to get back with you.
“Maybe I just don’t know what soulmate means”, you might be thinking.
Or maybe you’re genuinely not sure what that’s about.
Either way, even if you are the only person on earth for them and they think that, deep down, it is meant to be, your ex might still come back for the same reasons above.
7) They haven’t moved on yet
If your ex hasn’t moved on yet, they will keep coming back until they do. Sometimes it takes a while before someone can get over their ex.
This is because it’s not always easy to admit that a relationship didn’t work out, and they’re still working through the heartbreak.
If they’re still coming back, then they’re not over it yet.
And so this is one of those times where you have to let them go and move on by yourself, before you give in to the temptation to take them back!
You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our own complicated inner relationship with ourselves – how can you fix the external without seeing the internal first?
I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.
So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and solve your problem, start with yourself.
You’ll find practical solutions and much more in Rudá’s powerful video, solutions that’ll stay with you for life.
8) You’re the only person who knows them well
This is a bit of an odd one, but it’s true.
If you’re the only person they know well, they’ll keep coming back!
When someone has moved somewhere new, they don’t usually have any close friends there yet.
And so if they miss someone with whom they’re very familiar, then that person can quickly become their best friend.
It doesn’t matter if you just broke up or a few months have passed since then – they always come back because no one else knows them as well as you do!
For example: your ex might be an introvert who prefers to talk with small groups. But you know exactly how to make them open up in bigger groups than that.
You probably know the best restaurants, how to get them to try out new things, and how to bring excitement into their life.
So even though you haven’t been together for long, your ex will still come back to you. And it’s because no one else knows them as well as you do!
9) You have unresolved issues
If you and your ex have unresolved issues, they will keep coming back to discuss those issues with you.
If the two of you were able to talk about your problems and resolve them, then they’d never come back.
This is why you can’t be annoyed at them when they always come back.
They are coming back because they want to address something that’s still unresolved between you both.
And so this is the perfect opportunity for you to put the past behind you, and get it all sorted out once and for all!
10) For revenge
This is one of the reasons why exes always come back when you move on, and it’s definitely not a very nice one.
They come back for revenge.
They only want to get back with you so that they can get some kind of revenge for all the pain you caused them.
Just when you think that you can be happily moved on, they will show up and try to ruin your entire new relationship with lies and drama just so they can show them how much they hurt you when they left you.
They might tell the person you are seeing what you did to them or how badly you treated them, just so that the person will drop you and they can swoop back in like a white knight.
If this happens, ignore it.
Let it go and move on.
11) They want to be the center of attention
This is another reason why exes always come back when you move on.
Exes like to have the spotlight on them. They want to see whether or not people notice their presence, and how they’re doing.
They want people to notice how great their life is now and give them all the attention that they missed out on in the past.
So if you’re still a prominent figure in their life, then chances are your ex will always be looking for ways to come back, even if you moved on!
12) They want to see if they can win you back
This is probably one of the most common reasons why exes keep coming back.
They like to test whether or not they can win you back.
This gives them the opportunity to make it clear if you’re still interested in getting back together again.
And if it seems like you’re interested, then your ex will be more likely to make a move!
They don’t move on until they know that they’ll be getting what they want.
13) They’re just curious about what you’ve been up to
This one’s a bit obvious, but worth a mention.
That might actually sound like a boring answer, but it’s not.
Your ex probably wants to know what you’ve been doing with your life since they last saw you!
Firstly, because they want to know what you’ve been up to since the breakup.
Secondly, because they want to see how it feels for you to move on without them around.
They don’t want to miss out on any of the new experiences you’re having, so they can come back as an opportunity for them to find out.
So when you tell them about your life after their departure, they’re happy for you and just intrigued by the fact that this is all happening without them in your life.
14) They want to prove that you were wrong about them
This is another reason why exes always come back when you move on.
You might have a lot of negative feelings about your ex, but there’s always at least one thing that you were wrong about.
And they want to prove to you that they are better than what you’ve been saying.
They might even feel hurt and disappointed by your words and actions after the breakup, which is why they want to take this opportunity to show that they have changed in some way.
It does happen quite often, doesn’t it?
And that is exactly what happened to me. When I broke up with the one that I had dated for 3 years, my ex tried to prove to me that I was wrong about him by saying that I was too aggressive when it came to breakups.
Sure he’s been seeing this girl for a month and he said he had changed, but my guy just wanted to prove to me that I was wrong.
So all this drama basically came from his need to prove things! And as soon as he got his chance, he didn’t waste any time, did he?
Yeah, I know it’s not nice. They don’t really have the courtesy to admit that they were wrong, so why would we have to care about them?
15) Your ex is stuck in the past
This one is really interesting because it seems like such an unlikely explanation.
When you look at it, they’re always coming back after you’ve moved on. So, how can they be stuck in the past?
The truth is that the ex is making a decision based on how they felt in the past. Not how they feel now.
For example: Your ex might come back to you because they just spotted a picture of you and are automatically flooded with feelings of love and happiness from their past.
It’s not that they haven’t moved on at all, it’s just that they’re being influenced by the feelings of nostalgia and love from the past.
16) You have mutual friends or a shared history together
This is another obvious one.
A mutual friend or a shared history is one reason that exes always come back when you move on.
Someone who has a mutual friend with you is more likely to make contact with you after you break up.
It’s also more likely that they’ll come back when you move on if there’s a history between the two of you.
This is because there are already some bonds in place, and it’s easier for them to get in touch instead of striking up a new relationship from scratch.
You need to make sure that these ties don’t stay in place, however, as your ex-partner following you around isn’t healthy for either of you.
17) They still want to be friends
Well, maybe not a ‘best friend’.
If your ex wants to be friends again then you can agree to it.
But if they want to be more, then it’s best not to get back too fast or their feelings might change.
Maybe they do want you as a friend, and that’s why they’re willing to give things another go, but it’s something you should take into consideration when making any decisions with their return.
But really it’s still not a good reason to get back together.
No matter how much they care about you, friendship can’t make up for a lack of connection in a relationship.
18) They believe there is a future together
They might still believe that you have a future together.
So why is that?
Well, if they’re telling you they’re not happy with their current relationship and that they want to give things another go, then there’s probably a pretty good reason for it.
It’s likely because they still think you have a future together.
I understand how this sounds, but let’s look at an example: One of my friends was dating this guy who broke up with her because he didn’t see himself getting married (she wanted babies). He wanted to get back together several times over the next year, but each time she refused.
Eventually, he slept with one of her friends and realized they weren’t compatible.
He wrote to her and said “I’ve come to realize that the only way we’re going to work out is through marriage. I don’t feel right without you and I need a wife, not just a girlfriend.”
Sometimes people aren’t sure about their relationship, but you know deep down that this isn’t going anywhere, so they want to get back together for other reasons than ‘because it feels right”.
Don’t get angry or demoralized – just move on!
Believe us, it’s worth it!
If you’re moving on, then that means you should take a good look at yourself and start loving yourself.
You can’t change the past and no matter what someone does to hurt you, it’s never okay for them to make us feel small.
It can sometimes be hard to see things from an outside perspective. You might have gotten back together with your ex because you thought it was the right thing to do at the time.
But no matter what has happened, if you’re moving on, then don’t forget about your own happiness.
So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you?
The most effective way is to tap into your personal power.
You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.
He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.
Because true empowerment needs to come from within.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.
So if you’re tired of living in frustration, dreaming but never achieving, and of living in self-doubt, you need to check out his life-changing advice.
You may have moved on, but your ex has not
When you two were together, you were in sync emotionally. However, now that things aren’t how they used to be, there’s probably a part of them that still misses you.
That’s why they want to get back together.
They might also be struggling with commitment, and this could also be why they want to get back together.
I know it’s confusing, but you have to remember that even though they’re saying that they want to get back together for all of the above reasons, it really doesn’t mean that the relationship between you was perfect.
Just try not to rush into things too quickly or make any major life changes before giving yourself the chance to recover.
They don’t miss the water until they’re dry
People take for granted what they have, and don’t realize how valuable you were until you are gone.
Or in this case, they don’t miss you until they are no longer with you.
Give yourself time to think, distance yourself from your ex, and don’t worry if you think that you’re never going to get over them.
It’s not the end of the world if they come back when you move on – it just means that you should take a moment to look at things from an outside perspective and gain some perspective on whether or not it’s time for new relationships.
If your ex comes back then it doesn’t mean that their feelings for you have changed.
They might tell you that they want to get back together because they are lonely, or they might be unsure of their current relationship.
You need to look at why your ex wants to get back together so you don’t make the same mistake twice.
So, there you have it: the EXACT reasons why your ex wants to get back together…and a few friendly reminders about how to handle this situation.
The most important thing is to remind yourself of what you already know: it’s just not going to work.
They’ve cheated on you once and they will likely do it again, and even if they don’t cheat on their next partner, they will most likely hurt them in some other way.
And even if they seem really different now, more mature or whatever… that doesn’t mean that your relationship will be different this time around.
They’re still the same person and they are still looking at you through their own prism.
Best of luck getting over them!