Have you heard the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder?
It’s a common belief, but is it actually true? In most cases, being away from your partner makes them miss you.
This is especially true when your partner is a man.
But why exactly does this happen?
Today, we’ll look at 10 reasons why absence makes a man miss you.
1) It’s in their nature to chase
This is, perhaps, the number one reason why absence makes a man miss you. We’ve evolved as a species and our brains are wired to view the chase as a necessary component of the hunt.
Chasing is also a big component of flirting, so this applies to both genders. However, it’s different when it comes to men.
You see, in their nature, they are wired to go after a woman, win her over and then be the provider for her.
Now, what if you are already in a relationship?
Still, the chase is there and that’s what makes absence make a man miss you.
It’s important to note, though, that the chase doesn’t always have to be literal.
It can happen in a virtual sense as well. For example, if you’re online dating, it’s important to not go out on every date that you’re asked on, especially if they ask you last minute.
The men who are interested in you will want to chase after you.
If you go out with everyone, though, they won’t feel like you are a challenge.
You’re not giving them any reason to continue chasing after you.
Likewise, if you’re in a long-term relationship, sometimes, a bit of absence can do wonders.
This could then mean something simple like spending a night with the girls instead of your partner.
The thing is, we only strongly desire things we can’t have – so if you are with your man 24/7, then of course, over time, the desire might fade away.
But, if you aren’t with him all the time, then it can be easy to reignite that desire and make him think about you.
Missing a woman when she is absent is something almost every man does.
It’s because their masculine energy is just wired to want to chase, especially if he likes you already.
In that case, a challenge is always good. Speaking of challenge:
2) Men like a challenge
Are you a challenge? No, this doesn’t mean that you should start challenging your partner.
Challenge in this sense means that you are not an easy catch. You don’t give your man everything on a silver platter. You make him work for it.
And that’s what most men want, believe it or not.
If a man is used to getting everything with ease, he’s not going to respect you.
He’s also going to get bored of you. If you’re too easy and never challenge him in any way, he’ll get bored and look for someone else.
This is what makes absence make a man miss you.
Since you’re not always at his disposal, he has to wait for you. You can make this wait a fun challenge, though.
For example, you can make him call you to find out when you’re going to see each other again.
Or, you could send him a flirty text about how much you are looking forward to seeing him again soon, but then not giving in right away to when that will be exactly.
This can be a fun game. It’s also going to make him miss you. If you don’t give him what he wants immediately, he’s going to have to wait.
And waiting for something makes men miss you even more. Remember that the challenge doesn’t have to be just about you not being available, though.
It can be about other things as well. You can also challenge your partner to improve his life.
Men want to be better, and they like it when someone pushes them to be their best. Challenge your man in this sense.
I know, in this article we are mostly talking about absence, but I feel like now that I’m talking about this point I should mention it: if you want your guy to worship you, you need to help him become the best version of himself.
If you want him to miss you, then make sure he gets better in some way with you around.
Encourage him to be healthier, more ambitious, and simply better without nagging, instead, lead by example and inspire him through your actions.
If that is the case, he will notice how much better of a man you make him, especially when you’re not around.
That whole sentiment actually brings me to my next point:
3) It’s easier to appreciate what you don’t have
People who are used to living in abundance often forget to appreciate what they have.
A lot of women like to guilt trip their men by saying “I do everything for you” or “You don’t do anything for me” because they feel like their man simply doesn’t appreciate them.
This makes the relationship one-sided, and it creates an imbalance.
It’s not easy to appreciate what you have when it’s coming at you from all directions.
When you take it all away, though, it’s a lot easier. I know, it’s kind of sad that we often need to get the things we love taken away in order to appreciate them, but it’s true.
This is why absence makes a man miss you more. He has a chance to step back and see the big picture.
Think about it. When you’re around, he’s so used to taking what you give him that he doesn’t even notice it.
But when you’re not there, he suddenly starts to miss what he’s taken for granted. This is why absence makes a man miss you.
Now: this doesn’t have to be a huge “we might be breaking up” absence. This could be as simple as going on a 2-day trip with your friends and your partner realizes how much you do on a daily basis at home.
But let’s be honest, this article is not about chores or how much easier you make his life. It’s mostly about how much he’ll realize that life is so much more fun with you around.
And that is the point. This article is about how a man will become so much more appreciative and love you more on account of this.
This also means that he’ll be a lot more daring when starting to search for you after his absence. He will know for sure that you are the one for him, and he’ll be much more willing to jump into something new and exciting with you.
Now: would it be better if he could appreciate you right away without you having to be absent? Sure.
But unfortunately, our brains aren’t always wired that way and sometimes, you will need to remind him.
But you can make the wait fun and exciting by doing something fun during the time he is missing you.
And the best part? He will most probably be a little protective of you during that time:
4) Men can get jealous easily
Jealousy (in moderation) is a sign that someone cares. It, therefore, makes sense that absence makes a man miss you when he gets jealous.
Jealousy is often triggered by the thought of someone else having something that we want.
And the person who we want it from is usually our partner. You can make your man jealous by hanging out with your friends and giving them your attention.
If you start spending a lot of time with your friends and give your partner less attention, he’s going to get jealous.
This is going to make him miss you.
Now: I’m not saying you should deliberately make a man jealous by hanging out with other men or anything like that.
Especially if you are already in a relationship, that can be really problematic.
Instead, simply give more attention to your girlfriends and trust me, he will also get jealous.
The trick of hanging out with other guys can be applied if you aren’t in a relationship with someone yet and want them to know that you have other options.
However: I’d personally be really careful with that, a lot of men will see through what you are doing and find you less attractive, so you’re playing with fire.
But as I said, if you simply start giving your attention to other people and hanging out with them instead of him, he’s going to get jealous. He’s going to miss you.
He wants to be the only person who has your company because he wants all of your attention.
He’s also probably jealous of your friends because they get to spend time with you. All this is going to make him miss you.
Men will get jealous and might even be a little clingy, but god forbid you did the same:
5) They don’t love clingy women
Being clingy is a turn-off for men. They don’t like a clingy woman and they definitely don’t want to be in a relationship with her.
When you’re away from your partner for a certain period of time, you have a chance to change.
You can become less clingy and more independent. If you do this, your partner is going to want to be with you more.
This is why absence makes a man miss you.
He’s going to like the new and improved version of you.
For example, if you have attachment issues, you might be quite clingy.
You’re going to want to talk to your partner every day and you might even want to see them all the time.
If you’re able to resist this urge, though, you’re going to become less clingy.
And when you come back, your partner is going to like the new, improved you.
But how do you become less clingy?
Well, just like so much, it starts with the relationship you have with yourself.
You see, at the root of being clingy is often a deep-seated fear of being alone or abandoned, which also means that you simply don’t trust yourself.
This is not a good attitude to have and it is definitely not a healthy relationship that you want to have with yourself.
If you want to break your fear of being alone or leaving the relationship, then you’re going need to do this on your own. . . .do it for yourself, not for your partner.
In case you want to learn more about this, there is an incredible free video called Love and Intimacy from the shaman Rudà Iandê.
In it, he explains how to build up this relationship with yourself and become more secure in your relationships.
Check out the free video here.
To be honest with you, I would do this regardless of your relationship status.
Having a healthy and secure relationship with yourself is so crucial, it changed everything for me.
When you tend to be clingy and then take some time away to really give your partner and yourself space, as scary as that might feel, he will miss you like crazy.
And the best part?
In that time, you get to work on yourself and your triggers so that when you come back together, you can be a better version of yourself.
Another tip I have for you on this is to look into attachment styles – they can really make or break a relationship.
But speaking of working on yourself:
6) You are investing time in yourself, and that’s attractive
You don’t always have to be physically absent from your partner to make him miss you.
You can actually make him miss you by investing time in yourself.
Of course, when you’re with him, you should be giving him your full attention.
When you’re away from him, though, you have time to yourself. You have time to do what you want to do.
This is a good thing. It makes you more interesting and attractive.
Whether that’s the time you are at home after a date, or if you live together, the time you both have to yourselves during the day – try to focus on yourself and your own interests.
Take up a new hobby, do research on your topic of choice, visit an old friend – whatever you like to do, enjoy it!
You can even make a list of things you want to do without your partner and see if any of them work out.
When a man notices that you are investing time with yourself and that you aren’t trying to be with him 24/7, he will be intrigued.
Men love women who know what they want and are interested in what they like to do.
It’s a clear sign that you have your own interests. And that’s attractive.
And when you’re pampering yourself and doing something you like, especially if there isn’t another man involved, he’ll be missing you. He’ll be missing an opportunity to have time with his partner.
Not only will he respect you a lot more, but he will also yearn for some more time with you, and you can be sure that he might try to win you over again and get to spend more time with you very soon!
Another reason this works so well is that that gives him time to himself, too:
7) Men often need time and space to process their feelings
Men don’t always know how to deal with their feelings.
This is especially true when they’re triggered by something they don’t fully understand.
For example, if you guys have a fight and then you immediately have to go to an event together, he might not know how to process his feelings.
And he might not do it as quickly as you’d like. This is normal.
Men often need time and space to process their feelings.
Whether that is after an argument or simply when trying to figure out how he feels about you, giving a man time and space can be what makes or breaks a relationship.
When you don’t give a man time and space to process his feelings, he might feel like he’s being pushed into something.
It might seem as if you want to rush a relationship that he isn’t ready for.
Men crave freedom and independence, and when they feel like they are being manipulated or pushed into something, they will certainly run the other way.
However, if you give him the space and freedom that absence can bring, the exact opposite will be true: he will panic and think he is losing you, and so he will miss you even more than before.
When a man has enough space to process his feelings, he will realize how much he misses having you around.
He will have plenty of time to think about how good having you around is, and he will start to miss you even more.
When a man misses you, it opens up the door to all sorts of possibilities – he might be nervous and fearful that you are going to leave him, but he might eventually tell you what’s on his mind!
Now, this next point is pretty self-explanatory, but it is a driver in men:
8) They miss the sex
Sex is an important part of a romantic relationship. It’s a way to connect with your partner and for men, it can often be a big part of their connection with women.
Now: when you are absent for a few hours or days, that can really make a man miss you, because, well, he misses the sex.
If you’re gone for extended periods of time, he’ll miss the sex.
He might be frustrated about it, but he will also start to miss seeing you.
I know, that’s not the most romantic reason why men will miss you when you are absent, but it’s very realistic and real.
Sex can be an extremely important factor in keeping a man interested and invested in a relationship.
And if you take that from him by not being around as much as you were before, he’s going to start missing you very quickly!
Plus, this can sometimes go the other way and he might realize that he doesn’t even care so much about the sex, he just wants you to be around.
It’s the emotional connection that makes a man care, and if you aren’t there, he can start to miss you!
This is partially due to what I’m about to talk about:
9) He is afraid he might lose you
When you are always around and available, a man doesn’t feel like he might lose you.
Simply put, when you and your partner are together 24/7, a man doesn’t feel that fear of losing the relationship.
The same goes for a guy you are only dating – if you are always available, he might feel very certain that you like him and not put in as much of an effort as he could be.
Now: when you are absent and you start to invest your time in other things, that can actually trigger him to start to worry.
He might wonder if you are growing tired of him. He might start to think about another guy and he might actually start to feel insecure about your relationship.
This sudden fear of losing you will spark extremely strong feelings in him. His chaser-instinct will kick into gear and he will want to be with you and protect you from any harm.
As soon as it becomes clearer that you aren’t going away forever, and that you’re just taking some time for yourself, a man will feel more secure and will miss you even more!
And sometimes, just knowing that you are taking care of yourself is enough to make a man miss you.
Now: I don’t want you to go out and make your man deliberately think that he’s about to lose you. This can be an incredibly manipulative way to play on a man’s insecurities, and it will probably backfire.
However, the one thing that is certain about this is that when you aren’t around as much, your man will start to feel like he might lose you.
And when he starts feeling like that, he’ll miss you!
Now: Simply prioritize some other things as well and don’t have time for him 24/7. That change in dynamic will already trigger him to want to be with you, trust me.
This is also due to the fact that men love independent women, which is my last point:
10) Men love an independent woman
Last but not least, a man will love a woman who makes time for herself, who is independent and who isn’t always available to him.
Men love independence in women and they can really see that you have your own things going on in life.
Think about it: who seems more interesting, the person who makes their entire world about their man, having no interests or goals of her own, or the person who is independent, isn’t afraid of spending time alone and has her own hobbies and interests?
Of course, it’s the second one! You need your own life, outside of the life you share with a guy.
Although it might go against everything that you have been taught about relationships, this is a mentality that can actually be very healthy.
By giving a man space and taking time for yourself, as well as focusing on your own passions and hobbies, he is going to feel more secure about your relationship and want to work hard to keep you around.
It’s scary to think about not being around him 24/7 – it might seem like the direct way to lose him, but it’s actually the opposite!
Trust me, when you do your own stuff and focus on your own life, a man will really start to miss having you around!
What if it backfires?
Now, the number one question I get about this topic is: but what if it backfires? What if I give him space, and he likes it so much that he doesn’t miss me and wants to break up with me?
While I understand your concern, I really do, I want you to shift your perspective on this situation.
This is a man you are potentially spending the rest of your life with.
Instead of seeing this absence as a way to make him like you more again and miss you, see it as a test if he truly is the man you want to commit to.
You see, why in the world would you want to spend your life with someone who doesn’t miss you when you’re gone and who doesn’t want to spend time with you?
Seriously, this is a relationship we’re talking about here. We are not playing games – we are not interested in just “settling”, we want to be with someone who loves us and wants us there.
When the absence does not make the heart grow fonder, that doesn’t mean it “backfired”.
That also doesn’t mean you “ruined” the relationship with that absence.
No, it means that you can finally see clearly – that man doesn’t care about you as much as you thought, which means he might not be the right man for you.
I know, this is difficult to accept, but if this whole thing “backfires”, that’s the best thing that could have happened to you because now you finally know how he feels about you.
Don’t be afraid of being alone, see this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your relationship, and trust me, nothing can “go wrong”.
Worst case, you get the chance to end things and find the man you are truly meant for.
