If you’ve been dating a woman for some time, but haven’t made any progress toward becoming her boyfriend, you might be wondering if she just isn’t that into you or if she wants to keep things casual.
It can be confusing trying to figure out what her intentions are.
The best way to understand where she stands is by observing her actions.
Here are 20 signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you:
1) She flakes on plans constantly
If a woman has no intention of dating you exclusively, she will probably start flaking on plans with you at some point.
If you are regularly being stood up or getting messages canceling your plans, it means she is not putting any effort into the relationship.
A woman who enjoys spending time with you will be more considerate and reliable.
While it’s normal for people to flake on their friends sometimes, if it happens to you on a regular basis, she probably just doesn’t care enough to put in the effort.
You see, a woman who wants to be your partner will first of all want to make a good impression on you, therefore she will be careful not to cancel plans with you or be late.
If she’s flaking on you all the time, it means she doesn’t care about you enough to respect your time.
This is a huge red flag.
Plus, if she has the intention to actually be your partner, she will want to hang out with you as much as possible – after all, you are the person she is falling in love with!
Trust me, when a woman wants to be with a man, she will rarely flake out of plans.
Now: does that mean if she flakes out once, she doesn’t want to be with you?
No.
It depends on the reasons for her flakiness and how often it happens.
If she has a good reason to cancel (her car broke down, the dog was sick, etc.) and if she is not doing it regularly, then you should consider giving her another chance.
Have you never had something super urgent come up in your life?
But if she cancels too often without a good reason, or if she is always late and never makes an effort to show up on time, then it’s time to let her go.
Trust me, if she is constantly canceling plans without any valid reason or she is flaking out often without any valid excuse, you should cut your losses and move on.
If you keep trying to convince her to be with you, she will not change and it will be a waste of your time.
2) She doesn’t introduce you to her friends and family
When people start dating someone seriously, they usually introduce their new partner to the people they are closest to.
If she has not introduced you to her friends or family, there’s a chance she doesn’t see you in that light.
If you have been dating for a few months and she still has not introduced you to anyone, it’s a sign she doesn’t see you as boyfriend material.
You see, women usually like to introduce their boyfriends to friends and family.
Now: there is a chance that she has issues with her family and isn’t ready to introduce you to them.
So, if you have been dating for a few months and she has not introduced you to her family or friends, you can ask her why that is.
If she has a reason (for example, she doesn’t want her family to meet you because they are overprotective), it’s okay to wait until things are better with her family.
But if she doesn’t have any valid reason for not introducing you to people she is close with, it’s time to move on.
If a woman likes a man, she wants him to get to know the people in her life.
If she doesn’t introduce you to her family and friends, it’s a sign she doesn’t see you in that light.
Now: if she doesn’t want you to get to know her family, she will usually introduce you to her friends, at least.
So, if she has not introduced you to any of her friends, it’s a sign she doesn’t see you in that light.
Simply put, if a woman likes a man, she wants him to get to know the people in her life.
On the other hand, if she has introduced you to her friends but they don’t seem to like you, it’s another bad sign.
You see, her friends have a big influence on her, so you want them to be on your side.
3) She doesn’t think you’re confident
If a woman doesn’t think you’re confident, she might not want to be in a relationship with you.
I learned this from relationship expert Kate Spring.
As she taught me, confidence sparks something deep inside women that sets off instant attraction.
If you want to boost your confidence around women, check out Kate’s excellent free video here.
Watching Kate’s videos has been a game-changer for me.
Because I know exactly how it feels to not get dates… to be searching for “the one”… to be stuck in a relationship that just isn’t working.
However, with Kate’s help, I’ve been with the sort of high-quality women I never thought possible.
The confidence she has given me has helped me succeed in other areas of life too.
Here’s a link to Kate’s free video again.
4) She is only interested in hooking up instead of cuddling or kissing
If she is only interested in hooking up with you, but never wants to cuddle or kiss, it is a sign she does not want a serious relationship with you.
This is especially true if she always initiates the hookup and never asks you out on dates.
Most women only want sex if they are not interested in a relationship.
If she pushes you away every time you try to be romantic with her, it’s because she doesn’t want you to get too close.
Now: there are reasons why she might act like this that have nothing to do with her relationship intentions.
You see, she might have some issues where she doesn’t feel comfortable cuddling with someone.
Maybe she is afraid of being vulnerable.
Or maybe she has been hurt in the past and doesn’t want to get close to you.
You can try to talk to her about it, maybe she will let you know what is going on.
However, if she is always pushing you away when you try to be romantic with her, it is a sign that she doesn’t want a serious relationship with you.
She might even go as far as telling you that she doesn’t want a boyfriend or anything serious.
If this is the case, just leave her alone and move on.
You see, if she says she doesn’t want anything serious but then acts like this when you try to be romantic with her, it means that she wants to have sex but nothing else.
And if that’s all you are looking for, then by all means go for it! Just don’t expect any kind of relationship from this girl if that’s what’s going on here.
5) She gets defensive when you try to find out more about her
If you try to ask her more about her past or learn more about her interests, she might get defensive.
If she gets upset or doesn’t want to talk about herself, it’s a red flag.
She may not want to tell you about her past because she has a bad relationship with someone you know or she is not proud of something she did in the past.
If she is not willing to be open about herself, she does not value your relationship.
The thing is, when you plan on being in a relationship with someone, you will open up about your life a little bit, even if just a few details.
For example, if you want to find out more about her, ask her what she thinks about this or that.
If she gets defensive and starts telling you that she doesn’t want to talk about it, it is a red flag.
This means that she will not open up to you.
Now: of course, there are topics that she might just not feel comfortable talking about, such as her family, childhood trauma, or anything else that might be sensitive.
Does that mean she doesn’t think you’re boyfriend material? Not at all!
You see, even when people fall in love, it can take them a while to actually talk about vulnerable issues.
But if you want to be in a relationship with someone, you will eventually know more about them and open up.
If she is not willing to do so, it is best to stop seeing her.
6) Her texts and phone calls are inconsistent
If you have been seeing each other for a while, you should be getting consistent texts and phone calls from your partner.
If she only occasionally wants to stay in touch, it’s a sign she doesn’t want to put in the work to maintain a relationship.
A woman who wants to be in a relationship with you will find ways to stay connected with you even when she is busy.
If she isn’t consistent, she doesn’t value your relationship enough to put in the effort.
You see, when a woman really likes someone, she will go ahead and try her best to be around them.
If she isn’t consistent with her movements and actions, she doesn’t value your relationship.
Sure, some women don’t like texting or talking on the phone, but if she doesn’t, she’d let you know on one of your dates and would probably still get back to you.
One of the biggest signs is if she is actually on her phone 24/7, even when she’s with you, but for some reason, she won’t text you back for hours.
If that’s the case, you know that she’s not that into you.
Trust me, women usually don’t play lots of games when it comes to this.
If she likes you, she will be consistent with texts and calls, regardless of what she is doing.
And the truth is that nobody is ever too busy to text someone.
Look, even if she is working a ton and has no free minutes if she really wanted to, she’d text you from the bathroom or while she is waiting for her commute, or whatever.
Either way, you’d know where you stand with her.
7) She never seems excited when you suggest something
If she never seems excited about any of your ideas, it could be a sign she is not interested in dating you.
If she is always being negative about your suggestions, she might not want to date you.
She may also be so busy that she has little interest in doing anything romantic.
If you have been dating for a few months, and she has shown little enthusiasm for anything you have suggested, it’s a bad sign.
You see, when a woman is into you, she will be excited about any thought of you.
If she doesn’t seem excited, it means she isn’t that into you.
Maybe you’re suggesting dates or getaways or any other fun plans, and all you get in return is a dull “yeah, maybe”.
You really deserve better than that!
The thing is, when she isn’t excited about any plans with you and doesn’t even seem thrilled to see you again soon, she is basically letting you know that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
A woman who wants to date you will actually be excited about any plans you have, and she’ll be eager to see you again.
8) She stops talking to you for days at a time
If she regularly stops talking to you for days at a time, it’s probably because she doesn’t want a relationship with you.
If she has been dating you for a while and then stops responding to your texts, she may be losing interest in you.
It’s normal for people to have busy periods, but if she has been doing this regularly and doesn’t seem apologetic, it’s a bad sign.
Trust me, when a woman likes you, she will most probably get back to you within the day, at least, if not sooner.
But if she goes days without talking to you, that’s a major red flag.
In today’s day and age, when we have all the tools to keep in contact with each other, it’s really strange for a woman to not contact you.
You know, she only needs 30 seconds to shoot you a text or give you a quick call, so if she isn’t doing that, then it’s by choice, not because she’s busy.
If she doesn’t respond to you for days at a time, it’s a clear sign she is not interested in you.
At this point, you would do both of you a favor by simply moving on.
9) She flirts with other men in front of you
If she is flirting with other men in front of you, it’s probably because she doesn’t want to be exclusive with you.
Sure, she may also be trying to make you jealous in an attempt to make you more serious about her.
But as a rule of thumb, flirting with other men in front of you is a red flag and shows that she doesn’t want to be exclusive with you.
If she is always showing interest in other men, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want to be with you exclusively.
The thing is, if a woman thinks about dating you exclusively, she will not really be interested in other men, let alone flirt with them, let alone in front of you!!
So, if you notice this sign – run.
You are only wasting your time and hers.
The thing is, even if you somehow got her to commit to you (or at least say she does), how can you trust someone who flirts with other men?
If you are the kind of man who likes to be in control, then it’s not a problem for you.
But if you’re not the type of man who likes to be in control, then maybe it is.
At this point, even if she says that she is exclusive with you and wants to date only you, it’s going to be hard for her.
Because no matter how committed she says she is, she can’t really keep up that promise when she’s flirting with other men in front of your eyes.
Do you know what that does? It tells the world that she isn’t really committed to you after all.
It makes her look like an unconfident woman and a liar.
Now: don’t get me wrong, some couples are okay with their partner flirting with other people, it fits into their boundaries and personality.
But in those cases, the two partners have usually talked about this extensively and have come to an agreement.
Most of the time, if your girl is flirting with other men in front of you, it means she doesn’t really want to be exclusive with you.
It’s a red flag and all signs point to the fact that she is not serious about you.
10) A relationship coach confirms it
While this article explores the main signs she doesn’t want a relationship, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like not knowing whether she wants a relationship.
They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship.
After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
11) She won’t let you spend the night
This might not sound like a big deal, but when you are never allowed to stay over at her house, it’s a clear sign she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
She might say that she wants you to stay over, but when it comes down to it, she won’t let you.
You can tell by her body language and the way she talks to you. If a girl is interested in you, there is no way she would refuse you a night at her place.
The thing is, sleepovers are a thing couples do – they usually include lots of cuddling and breakfast the next day.
If she’s not serious about you, this might feel like too much for her and she might just avoid you.
Now: before you jump to conclusions, there are other reasons she might not want you to stay over.
She might have a roommate or she might not feel comfortable letting someone stay over.
In that case, she will most probably have a good explanation though and let you know.
But if she doesn’t let you over, it’s a sure sign that she is not interested in being exclusive with you.
12) She is not affectionate with you
If she is not affectionate with you, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
You see, when people are planning on being in a relationship with someone, they tend to show affection to each other.
If she is not affectionate with you, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
Again, this could have a different reason, like maybe she isn’t comfortable with affection or doesn’t know how to best show affection to you.
However, you can usually tell the difference.
When in doubt, ask her!
She will either have an explanation as to why she isn’t comfortable with affection, or she will try to come up with a bad excuse – either way, you will know.
13) She avoids you when you see each other outside of her house
If she avoids you when you see each other outside of her house, it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
You might have been hanging out with her for months now and still, nobody knows that the two of you are dating.
She might say “no, I don’t want to go out with you anymore” or “I don’t like being seen with someone like you, I prefer it if we keep our relationship a secret.”
But if she is not willing to go out in public with you and avoid seeing each other in front of other people, that’s a pretty big red flag she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
And if she just says that she doesn’t want to go out with you anymore, it’s a sure sign that she is not interested in being exclusive with you.
14) She never wants to spend time with you alone
If a woman refuses to spend time with you alone, it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
This is because most people are comfortable being alone with their significant other.
That’s why we spend so much time together, to get to know each other better and spend more time with each other.
If she doesn’t want to spend time with you alone, it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
Maybe she keeps inviting friends to your dates, or she simply goes home when you end up alone – either way, it’s not a good sign for you, pal.
15) She doesn’t say “I love you” back
Have you dropped the L-Bomb already?
If a woman really likes you, she will tell you that she loves you, and she will probably tell you that she loves you a lot!
If she doesn’t say “I love you” back, it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
She might not be able to put into words how much she loves you, or she might be scared of saying “I love you” and being rejected.
Either way, this is a big red flag for her, and for you.
Trust me, if she likes you, you would notice.
If not, you will be left wondering and confused.
If you can get her to say I love you and mean it, you’re much more likely to attract the right type of woman for you.
This goes back to what I mentioned earlier – understanding women isn’t tough, it just takes someone who knows to show you the way.
And that person is relationship expert Kate Spring.
In this free video, you’ll learn exactly how to attract the woman of your dreams with Kate’s effective techniques.
Whether it’s working on your confidence or learning some of the best-kept secrets about women, you’ll learn a few techniques that’ll certainly improve your love life.
Here’s a link to the free video once again.
16) She’s rude to your friends and family members
If a woman is rude to your friends and family members, that’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
She might not tell you that she is being rude, but you will notice.
You’ll start to notice how she starts acting different and treats your friends like crap.
If you’re having a conversation with her and one of your friends pops up on Facebook or mentions something in passing, she will immediately stop talking and tell them to leave the room so they don’t ruin the mood.
This is very rude of her, and it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
If a woman wants a relationship with you, she will make it a priority to have a good connection with your friends and family.
She will also make it a priority to have a good connection with your friends.
17) She doesn’t share your interests
If a woman doesn’t share your interests, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
She might not tell you that she isn’t interested in certain things, but you will notice.
You’ll start to feel like an outsider in her life – she no longer feels like she can talk to you about anything and everything.
This is very sad, and it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
In order for a relationship to work properly, you need to at least have some common interests.
If a woman doesn’t share your interests, then she might not be the right girl for you.
Trust me, if none of her interests spark any joy in you and vice versa, then you are probably better off separated.
18) She cheats on you with other guys
This goes without saying, but if a woman is cheating on you with other guys, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
She might not tell you that she is cheating on you, but you will notice.
Maybe her friends tell you, or you find a text message on her phone.
Regardless of how you find out, it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
It’s also a good sign that she is not interested in you and only has you around because she needs something from you.
You see, if she liked you, she wouldn’t be cheating, it’s as simple as that.
19) She lies to you about her past relationships and situations
If a woman is lying to you about her past relationships or situations, it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
She might not tell you that she is lying, but you will notice the discrepancies between what she says and what actually happened.
You’ll start to feel like an outsider in her life – she no longer feels like she can talk to you about anything and everything.
When that happens, it’s a problem, because you will feel as though you can’t fully trust her.
This is very sad and it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
In order for a relationship to work properly, you need to at least have open and honest communication.
If a woman is lying about her past relationships or situations, then she might not be the right girl for you.
20) She won’t go out on romantic dates with you
If she won’t go out on dates with you, she almost certainly has no intention of taking things to the next level.
A woman who sees you as more than a friend will want to spend more time with you romantically.
If you are always meeting up for coffee or going to bars, she is probably not interested in taking your relationship to the next level.
If you have been dating for a few months and she has not asked to go on a date, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want anything serious.
You see, most women will want to go on actual dates when they like someone.
This means they want to go out to dinner or have you plan a surprise for them.
If she is not interested in spending time with you on dates, it’s a sign she doesn’t see you as boyfriend material.
You see, if she wants to take things to the next level, she will want to make plans with you.
The thing is, you might notice that she will invite friends along when you try to get her out on a date, or she will cancel if it’s something too romantic.
That is a huge sign she does not want to be in a relationship with you.
She just wants to hang out as friends and have fun, but she is not interested in taking things to the next level.
So, if she never goes out on dates with you, it’s a sign she doesn’t see you as boyfriend material.
21) Her behavior has not changed since you started dating
If she has been consistent in her actions since you started dating, such as always canceling plans or being disinterested in your ideas, it’s a sign she doesn’t want to date you.
If she has not changed her behavior after a few months, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
You see, if a girl is interested in you, her behavior tends to slowly change over time – she will start to be more attentive, she will start to show you more affection, and she will start to be a little more romantic.
If she has not changed her behavior after a few months, it’s a sure sign she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.
What now?
If you have been dating a woman for a while and none of these signs appear in your relationship, you probably don’t need to worry about her not seeing you as her boyfriend.
If you are dating a woman and these signs are present in your relationship, you need to sit her down and have an honest conversation about your relationship.
The thing is, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to fix the situation.
If you find yourself in this exact situation, you need to sit her down and have an honest conversation about your relationship.
It’s important that you do this as soon as possible so that neither of your time will be wasted.
Want to sweep her off her feet?
This all relates back to the incredible advice I learned from Kate Spring.
I mentioned her earlier, she’s transformed dating and relationships for thousands of men.
One of the most valuable things she taught me was this:
Women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.
Women don’t like assholes because they’re assholes. They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals to them. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.
What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to women—and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?
Check out this free video by Kate Spring.
She reveals the most effective method I’ve come across to make women obsessed with you (whilst remaining a good guy).
