15 ways to get a narcissist to leave you alone
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Never Liked It Anyway
242 posts so farNarcissists can be draining and exhausting to deal with, especially if you’re not sure how to handle them.
They are strong personalities with a high sense of self-worth that may seem threatening at first glance.
But this doesn’t mean that dealing with them has to be difficult.
If you find yourself in a relationship or friendship with someone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies, it’s important that you stand your ground and don’t let them bulldoze over your feelings.
What’s more, if you know people like this personally, you must do everything within your power to avoid letting them take advantage of your time and energy.
Here are 15 ways that will help you get a narcissist to leave you alone:
1) Ignore the narcissist
Ignoring narcissists is one of the best things you can do to get them out of your life.
If you let them know that you’re ignoring them, they’ll most likely interpret it as a sign that you don’t want them to contact you or that you want to be left alone.
Ignoring a narcissist is often the safest and most effective way for people to remove themselves from their lives.
It’s important to note that it isn’t always easy.
It can feel uncomfortable and awkward at first, but with practice, it becomes easier and more natural over time.
If you feel yourself starting to ignore a narcissist without meaning to, take a step back and make sure that’s what you want.
2) Do not give the narcissist what they want
Giving narcissists what they want is not a surefire way to get them to leave you alone.
Sometimes, it works; other times, it only makes them more stubborn.
This may sound counterintuitive, but it’s quite common.
By offering narcissists what they want, you reinforce their belief that they’re entitled to certain things (whether those things be praise, attention, or resources).
In addition, by giving narcissists what they want, you put yourself in the position of having to compete for their attention—which can be overwhelming and stressful.
However, there are two key reasons why giving narcissists what they want might not work.
First, by responding to narcissists’ demands with more demands of your own, you’re essentially playing into their games.
Second, by giving narcissists what they want—even if that means just agreeing to go out with them—you’re signaling to them that you don’t care about your own needs and feelings as much as they do.
3) Set boundaries with the narcissist
Setting boundaries with a narcissist is one of the most effective ways to get them to leave you alone.
No one likes being told what to do, and no one likes feeling controlled.
When you set boundaries, you are asserting your sense of control over your life.
You are saying that you value your sense of autonomy and self-determination.
By doing this, you are telling the narcissist that they need to respect your wishes and desires.
If they don’t, you can take action to protect yourself.
They will feel threatened by this assertiveness and may begin to withdraw from the relationship to avoid conflict.
If they continue to demand too much of your time or energy, you can tell them that their behavior is not acceptable and that they need to change their ways before things get worse.
This will likely make them feel guilty and ashamed, which can motivate them to make a change.
4) Stand up to the narcissist
Standing up to a narcissist is a bold move, but it’s necessary to get rid of someone who is constantly trying to control you.
If you can’t stand up for yourself, then it’s likely the narcissist will continue to push your buttons until it escalates into an abusive relationship.
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Being assertive and standing up for yourself shows that you’re not a pushover, and it can make the narcissist back off.
There are three main things you should do:
First, you should ignore their provocations.
If they try to attack you verbally or emotionally, don’t respond. It’s important not to feed into the narcissist’s power play—the more they bait you, the more they want.
Second, make firm boundaries.
Once the narcissist crosses your boundaries (e.g., by invading your personal space), tell them firmly “This is my space; go away.”
Third, document everything.
Write down what happened so that you have evidence of what happened and can use this as leverage later on if necessary (e.g., if they accuse you of lying).
5) Go no contact with the narcissist
No contact is the most effective way to get a narcissist to leave you alone.
It can be as simple as not responding to their text messages, emails, or social media requests.
However, it’s important to note that no contact isn’t always possible.
If they show up at your home or workplace uninvited, you have to respond.
Additionally, you may have to sometimes interact with them to maintain a working relationship or keep personal belongings safe.
One of the most common complaints of narcissists is that they don’t get enough attention and validation from others.
When they feel ignored, they often become more desperate to get their needs met.
No contact gives them one less opportunity to feel like their needs aren’t being met.
When they know that you aren’t responding to their texts, calls, or emails, they will likely lose interest in continuing the relationship.
When you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.
I want to suggest doing something different.
It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
As Rudá explains in this mind-blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way because we’re not taught how to love ourselves first.
So, if you want to solve your problem of dealing with a narcissist, I’d recommend starting with yourself first and taking Rudá’s incredible advice.
Here’s a link to the free video once again.
6) Talk to someone about what is going on
Talk to someone about what is going on with the narcissist, be it a friend, family member, or therapist.
Narcissists are often manipulative and will use others to get what they want.
They will also try to destroy anyone who stands in their way.
They can cause a great deal of emotional damage and may even frighten people with their behavior.
They may threaten to harm themselves or others if they don’t get their way.
If people know that you are trying to leave, they may feel threatened and try to keep you from doing so.
So let them know that you are safe and that you are just trying to get some time away from this person.
This will help them feel more comfortable knowing that you aren’t in any immediate danger.
7) Get support from friends and family
It is important to get support from friends and family.
You can’t do this alone.
No matter how much you want to, you can’t win a battle against a narcissist by yourself.
They’re prone to making false accusations and spreading rumors, so you need support from people who know what they’re talking to.
This can be anyone from your best friend to your mom or dad.
Sometimes it helps just to have someone listen.
People tend to band together when it comes to these issues, and your family and friends are there for you no matter what.
If they can’t help with the situation itself, they can at least offer moral support and an ear to listen.
8) Join a support group
If you feel like your life is being threatened by a narcissist, you must seek help from someone you trust.
A support group could be an ideal place to start.
There are many different types of support groups for people who have been affected by a narcissistic family member or friend.
These groups can provide the emotional support that you need when dealing with a difficult person.
By joining a support group, you can learn how other people have dealt with similar situations and how they were able to move on and recover from the trauma that they experienced.
9) Seek professional help
If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, then you know that they are very difficult to get rid of.
They are masters at manipulation and they can be very convincing.
So how do you get them to leave you alone?
The easiest way is to get professional help.
This means finding a therapist who specializes in this type of person and working with them regularly.
But it doesn’t end there – even if you are seeing the therapist regularly, you still need to keep up your vigilance and continue to watch for signs that the narcissist is trying to come back into your life.
This may mean keeping an eye out for new posts on social media or other online forums that seem related to your current relationship.
If so, then it might be time for a reality check and to cut things off for good.
10) Keep your end of the deal
The way to get a narcissist to leave you alone is by keeping your end of the deal.
If you have promised to do something, then it is your responsibility to do it.
If you break your promises, then the narcissist will feel justified in continuing to harass and bother you.
They will feel like they are winning, even though they are losing.
In other words, they are not going away because they are getting what they want.
They are staying because they think they can win.
If you keep your word, on the other hand, then narcissists may start to feel bad about themselves and their behavior.
That is because they care about being seen as a good person and being respected by others.
But if they continue to harass and bother you when they know that you won’t let them get away with it, then people may start to think that they are a bad person who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings.
11) Talk to the narcissist about their behavior
If you’ve managed to get the narcissist to leave you alone for a while, you may want to talk to them about their behavior.
This is important because it allows them to acknowledge that they’re behaving badly and that there are consequences for their actions.
It also helps them learn that they can’t get away with treating people this way.
A word of warning:
Don’t expect a miracle.
Narcissists often allude to the idea that they can change, but they rarely ever do so.
At best, they may take some baby steps in the right direction.
But even those are pretty rare occurrences.
There’s no hard and fast rule for how you should go about this.
What works for one person may not work for another.
And as always, your goal is simply to manage the situation as best you can until it passes naturally or by chance (e.g., when the narcissist moves away).
12) Take legal action
In many cases, the best way to get a narcissist to leave you alone is to take legal action.
If you have evidence that shows that the person has violated a law, you may be able to use that as leverage to persuade them to leave you alone.
You could also argue that the person has been harassing you and making threats against you, which could be considered harassment under the law.
And of course, if the person has violently threatened or harmed you in any way, this would also be a crime and could form the basis for a civil lawsuit.
In most cases, however, it’s best to talk with an attorney first before taking any legal action against a narcissist because there are all kinds of barriers that can prevent you from winning such a case.
13) Leave the relationship
Narcissists are hard to get rid of.
They may have a high value on themselves and can be attracted to others who admire them, so it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to make them leave the relationship without extreme measures.
To get a narcissist to leave you alone, you’ll need to distance yourself from them as much as possible.
You should also try to avoid future contact with them, even if they contact you.
Doing this will make it easier for you to move on from the relationship and heal from all of the emotional trauma that it has caused you.
In some cases, when a narcissist does leave you alone, it doesn’t mean that they are no longer interested in you.
It could simply mean that they are unable or unwilling to pursue their interest in you.
It’s important not to take this too personally and instead just move on with your life and focus on yourself.
14) Confront the narcissist and ask them to stop
Confronting a narcissist is not an easy task.
To successfully confront the narcissist, one must be prepared to deal with a variety of emotions that may arise from the confrontation.
Confronting a narcissist can be intense, and it might take more than one attempt at confronting the narcissist to be successful.
The first thing to do is prepare yourself emotionally for the possibility of confrontation by taking care of your emotional well-being.
Next, you need to decide what you want to accomplish by confronting the narcissist.
If you want them to leave you alone, this is probably going to be the most important thing that you want to accomplish.
15) Show that you are unwilling to accept their behavior
When dealing with a narcissist, the first step to take is to show them that they are no longer wanted.
This is an important step because it shows them that you are unwilling to accept their behavior.
By simply making it clear that they are no longer wanted, they will be more likely to leave you alone and will eventually find someone willing to accept them for who they are.
By showing that you do not want them around, you are sending a clear message of non-acceptance which may ultimately lead to their departure.
So, in a nutshell, narcissists are red flags! They are often attracted to people who are weak and needy.
They think they can manipulate people by making them feel bad about themselves, but being kind and understanding is often the best way to handle them.
Many narcissists have been conditioned from a young age to believe that they’re superior to all other people and that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with being selfish and self-absorbed.
An important step in dealing with a narcissist is to remember that, though they may appear to be superior beings, they are quite weak.
This is something that many narcissists fail to grasp, which makes them more inclined to revert to their old ways when they are left feeling vulnerable.