What it really means when your boyfriend breaks up with you to work on himself
Your boyfriend breaks up with you because he needs time to himself.
It can also feel like an awful betrayal when the person who told you he loved you tells you that he needs to take a break because “he wants to work on himself.”
This article will outline what it really means when your boyfriend breaks up with you to work on himself.
1) He has his eyes set on someone else
This is a possibility that you must consider when your boyfriend tells you he needs to take a break because he wants to work on himself, or that he isn’t in love with you anymore.
In this case, it is not your stupidity or incompetence, but rather your boyfriend’s lack of control over his emotions and actions that led you to feel the pain in your heart you are experiencing right now.
It may be difficult for you to accept, but this is something that every partner faces sooner or later: the realization that their partner loves them, but does not have feelings for them romantically anymore.
It is something to be sad about, and something that should be worked out between the two of you in a mature and respectful manner.
2) He has self-improvement goals
I know this might be a hard pill to swallow, but it happens to a lot of people.
Your boyfriend may actually want you by his side, but he still wants and needs to work on himself.
He may be in the process of realizing that he doesn’t want a relationship with you and just wants to take care of himself in terms of personal growth, which is perfectly fine.
It’s hard to believe that anyone would have the audacity to break it off with someone he loves so dearly just to find time to work on himself, but your boyfriend might not be lying when he says this to you.
Some people are single-minded in their pursuit of self-improvement, and they will do anything they can think of to reach their goals.
That is why your boyfriend said that he needs time to work on himself when he broke up with you—he thinks that it will help him achieve his goals faster.
3) He’s going through a phase in his life
Your boyfriend might be going through a phase in his life.
He might be taking a break from you or he might be taking a break from you to see if he can muster up the courage to make decisions and spend time with himself.
It is not the end of the world; it is just another decision that your boyfriend has made to change and grow as an individual, which naturally brings them the opportunity to experience their love for you on an even deeper level than before.
4) He doesn’t feel worthy of you
Why do I say this?
Well, your boyfriend might not feel worthy of you, and that’s why he needs to go through this period of time where he is going to work on himself.
If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t think they deserve you, then they will do anything in their power to try and make themselves worthy of you.
What I mean by “not feel worthy of you” is that this person will do anything possible to make themselves better than they ever were with you.
5) You’re not meeting his needs
I know that this probably sounds harsh, but I think that it’s the truth and you deserve to hear it. When you find someone that you really love, you might not be meeting their needs.
Your boyfriend might be afraid to tell you that he is no longer into the relationship because he thinks that you will get upset and cry.
This is why he breaks up with you to work on himself—he does not want to feel bad about hurting your feelings by ending things.
Your boyfriend realizes that his needs are not being met in the relationship, and he can either end things with you or try to work on what’s lacking within himself.
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6) He’s not over his ex and needs time to heal
Your boyfriend is taking a break from his relationship with you because he still has feelings for his ex.
He might not realize this right away, but as time goes by, he’ll realize that he still has feelings for his ex and isn’t over her.
He wants to take a break from this relationship because he needs time to heal and think about how far along he is with the healing process.
If the relationship with his ex-girlfriend had ended very recently, then it makes sense why your boyfriend is saying that he needs time to work on himself.
He wants to be able to focus on himself and get over his previous relationship before moving on to someone else.
7) He simply doesn’t want to be with you anymore
I’m sorry to say this, but your boyfriend might not love you like he used to.
He may have changed his feelings for you over time, and ended up loving you just as a friend rather than a lover.
This is the most painful reason why your boyfriend broke up with you when he said he needed time to work on himself.
Your boyfriend might have simply realized that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore and that might not change anytime soon or ever again.
Be honest, was there any time when you two were “off” the relationship?
If the answer is yes, then it’s more than possible that your boyfriend wanted to work on himself because he is a person that needs to feel fulfilled, and being with you wasn’t doing so.
8) He isn’t as into you as you are into him
When your boyfriend breaks up with you because he needs time to work on himself, the truth is that he isn’t as into you as you are into him.
He could possibly love you, and care for you very much, but it doesn’t mean that he wants to spend his whole life with you.
Our society places a strong emphasis on finding someone that we want to be with for the rest of our lives and then forcing those feelings onto them.
Your boyfriend might actually have the feeling that he says he does, but others feelings (and his own) are on a different level than yours.
But don’t worry, it’s not your fault.
It’s just the way that relationships work.
9) He needs time to figure himself out
The truth is some people prefer to work on themselves over being with someone at the same time.
It is not uncommon for your boyfriend to need time to figure himself out. He might want to build a foundation before he moves onto someone as amazing as you.
He might need to spend some time discovering his flaws and fix them before he can get back into relationships.
Your boyfriend needs to be able to be in relationships, but not necessarily with you.
In this case, he doesn’t want to do anything until he is confident enough in himself that it is safe for him and the other person involved in the relationship (you) can have a solid foundation built on trust, communication and mutual respect.
10) He’s really selfish and doesn’t care about your feelings
When your boyfriend broke up with you, he said that he needs time to work on himself because he’s selfish.
He broke up with you because he doesn’t care about your feelings and wants you to suffer for all that you’ve done to him.
This is something that can happen sometimes, but not all the time.
Your boyfriend might have broken up with you, but it doesn’t mean that race is over between the two of you, and it also doesn’t mean that your relationship didn’t mean anything to him.
You should never take someone’s words seriously when they say they need time to work on themselves because they might be lying so they can get away from their responsibilities.
11) You’re not the right person for him at this time in his life
Sadly, this is the most difficult and stressful reason why your boyfriend broke up with you when he said that he needed time to work on himself.
Your boyfriend might have realized that you aren’t the right person for him at this moment in time.
He might want to be with someone who is more understanding or funnier than you.
He might also want to be with someone who shares the same interests as him, and you just aren’t compatible with his life at this point in time.
This is something that we all go through in our lives, and it isn’t meant to harm anyone or anything.
It’s just a part of growing up and moving on from things that no longer serve a purpose in your life.
12) He still cares about you, but he needs space
The simple truth is that your boyfriend doesn’t want to hurt you.
He has been dealing with a lot of issues and needs some space in order to focus on these issues without worrying about his relationship with you.
The only way he knows how to get that space is by breaking up with his girlfriend.
Breaking up is really the only way that he sees fit to give him that time off from the relationship without hurting you any further.
If your boyfriend broke up with you because he needed time to work on himself, then it is most likely going to be a temporary thing because he still cares about you and wants to try this relationship out some other time in the future.
How to move forward after your boyfriend breaks up with you?
You have to have a clear mind and also know that you’re going to be okay.
Everyone, at some point in time, has been in the same situation as you.
The guy I had been seeing for four years just broke up with me because he needed time to work on himself. Confused about how I’m supposed to move forward? Any ideas for me?
I’m really confused about what happened. He said that he loved me and wanted this relationship but just couldn’t be with me right now. He wants space and time alone so he can work on himself; he says we weren’t a bad relationship but it was lacking something. I was so upset when he said that because obviously, that’s from someone who doesn’t love me.
How do I move forward?
If you love him enough, then you will understand why he needs time to work on himself and your relationship.
This might not be the end of your relationship, but it is only a pause in the relationship.
He might not want to break up with you until he feels like he is completely ready for this relationship, and that’s why he needs space.
Bottom line: Take care of yourself and know your worth
You deserve this guy who will love you unconditionally because of all the effort you put into putting him first in his life.
You need to focus on yourself and your own needs instead of stressing about if he loves you the same way that he did when he was really into you.
There is nothing wrong with you.
We want to be in a relationship where we feel like we belong and are loved by the other person, but sometimes we need to go through some tough times in order for that relationship to work out.
No one else can tell you exactly what happened in your relationship, so if something doesn’t make sense to you then feel free to reach out for advice.
There are professionals out there who can give you the guidance and help that you need because relationships aren’t always easy.
I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.
So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and solve your problem, start with yourself.
You’ll find practical solutions and much more in Rudá’s powerful video, solutions that’ll stay with you for life
I hope that you found this article and this video to be helpful and know that you are loved, always.
You will find someone who loves you and whom you can share all of your wonderful moments with.