It’s hard to know what the right thing to do after a breakup— but there are some universal truths.
The no-contact rule is probably the best thing you can do for yourself and your ex-partner when you break up.
To make it easier for you, here are 10 signs that the no-contact rule is working after your breakup!
1) You feel lighter and more optimistic
One of the first signs that the no contact rule is working is that you feel lighter and more optimistic about the future.
You’ve processed the breakup and you’re ready to move on.
You’re not obsessing about your ex-partner, and you’ve let go of any feelings of bitterness or anger you might have been holding onto.
You’re feeling positive about what the future holds for you, and you’re ready to get back into the dating scene again.
You’re ready to focus on the things that make you happy, and you’ve let go of any negative or obsessive thoughts you might have been holding onto.
You see, after a breakup, the future can sometimes look a bit bleak.
You might feel as though there is nothing in your life that excites you anymore.
However, if you’re following the no contact rule, then you are letting go of all the negative emotions that come with a breakup.
You’re letting go of any anger and bitterness, and you’ve moved on to the next positive step in your life.
It will definitely take some time – at first, it will feel as though there is a giant void inside of you that can’t possibly be filled.
The more time passes, and the longer you stick to the no-contact rule, the more you will realize that you are moving forward and that you have a new outlook on life.
Suddenly, you will realize that life is beautiful, with or without your relationship, and things will excite you again.
2) The idealization phase is over
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that the idealization phase is over.
Simply put, you’ve let go of any false perceptions you might have had about your ex-partner.
You’re no longer holding on to the hope that you might get back together, and you’ve let go of any expectations or demands you might have had about what the relationship should have been.
You’re letting go of any idealized views you might have had about your ex-partner, and you’re ready to start dating again.
You’re ready to get back out there and put yourself out there again, and you’re excited about what the future holds for you.
The thing is, when we’re in a relationship, we sometimes tend to idealize our partner and the relationship.
We start to think that this person is perfect, or we start to think that this person is something special, or we start to think that this person is perfect for us.
This can lead us to be in relationships with people who aren’t right for us, and it can also lead us to stay in relationships with people who aren’t treating us right.
So the idealization phase – where you’re holding on to unrealistic perceptions about your ex-partner – is over.
You’re ready to move on now, and you’re ready to date someone who’s right for you.
Essentially, you will know that you are out of that phase once you are no longer putting your partner on a pedestal.
Now: that doesn’t mean you have to tear down your ex-partner or look for all their faults, it will happen automatically that you will simply start to see them as more human and ordinary than before.
That’s when you know that you’re out of the idealization phase.
3) What would a relationship coach say?
While this article explores the main signs that the no-contact rule is working, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…
They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own breakup.
After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get myself back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
4) You realize you made the right decision to break up
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that you realize you made the right decision to breakup.
You’ve let go of any feelings of doubt or regret about your decision to breakup, and you’re ready to move on with your life.
Simply put, you’ve processed all the emotions you needed to process about the breakup, and you’re ready to focus on the future and what it holds for you.
You may feel sad about the breakup, but you’re also ready to move on with your life and let go of the relationship.
You’ve come to terms with the breakup and you’re ready to focus on what the future holds for you.
The thing is, even if you weren’t the one who initiated the breakup, there will be a point where you realize that it was the right decision.
You might even feel grateful to your ex-partner for pulling the plug on the relationship, because who knows if you would have ever done that!
You see, deciding to end a relationship is difficult, even if it’s the right decision to do so.
When you realize you made the right decision to end the relationship, that’s a sign that your no-contact rule is working out well for you.
5) You’re no longer obsessing about your ex-partner
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that you’ve stopped obsessing about your ex-partner.
You may still be grieving the loss of the relationship, but you’ve let go of any feelings of jealousy or regret that you might have been holding onto.
You’re ready to focus on what the future holds for you, and you’re not dwelling on the past.
You may still be missing your ex-partner, but you’re not obsessing about them.
You’ve let go of any feelings of jealousy or feelings of regret you might have been holding onto, and you’re ready to move on with your life.
The thing is, it is pretty easy to obsess over an ex after a breakup.
After all, they were an important part of your life and you may have been together for a long time.
When you realize that you’re no longer obsessing about your ex-partner, that’s a sign that the no-contact rule is working out well for you.
Maybe someone mentions their name or that they have a new partner, but it doesn’t trigger you, you don’t feel the urge to find out everything about them.
6) Your self-care habits are on point
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that your self-care habits are on point.
You’ve reconnected with hobbies and activities that bring you joy, and you’re practicing self-love and self-care every day.
You’ve let go of the resentment or regret that you might have been holding onto, and you’re ready to move on with your life.
And the best part?
You’re ready to focus on the future and what it holds for you, and you’ve let go of any feelings of resentment or regret that you might have been holding onto.
Self-care is super important after a breakup, but it’s also super important before a breakup.
If you want to end a relationship and stay healthy and happy, you need to be taking care of yourself.
But self-care doesn’t stop when you end a relationship.
Now that you have learned how to take proper care of yourself, your future relationships will be a lot healthier than before!
7) You’ve reconnected with your support network
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that you’ve reconnected with your support network.
You’ve let go of any feelings of shame or regret you might have been holding onto, and you’re ready to move on with your life.
You’re no longer isolating yourself, and you’re reaching out to the people you care about.
You’ve reconnected with your friends and family, and you’re letting go of any feelings of shame or regret that you might have been holding onto.
In other words, you’re ready to focus on the future and what it holds for you.
During a relationship, we sometimes lose sight of our friends and family a bit. We’re so focused on the relationship that we forget to take care of ourselves.
But when you’re ready to move on and you want to end a relationship, it’s important that you reconnect with your support network.
Hang out with your friends, talk to your family members and remember that no matter what, you are loved.
8) You’ll know when it’s time to date again
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that you’ll know when it’s time to date again.
You’ve stopped idealizing the past, and you’re ready to move on with your life.
You’ve processed all the emotions you needed to process about the breakup, and you’re ready to focus on the future.
You see, you’ve let go of any feelings of regret or shame about the breakup, and you’re ready to move on and start dating again.
It’s interesting, that after a breakup you might feel as though you’ll never be able to date anyone else again, but that’s not true.
All it takes is healing and some time.
The no-contact rule will be especially helpful with that.
And sooner than you’d think, you will wake up and realize that you are ready to date someone new.
However, don’t pressure yourself. Give yourself enough time. If you start dating too soon, you might end up getting hurt again.
So, take your time, heal and make sure you’re ready to date someone new.
9) You have a clearer idea of what you want in a relationship
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that you have a clearer idea of what you want in a relationship.
You’ve let go of any feelings of regret or shame you might have been holding onto, and you’re ready to move on with your life.
Simply put, you’re no longer focusing on the past, and you’re ready to get back out there and date again.
And the best part?
You have a clearer idea of what you want in a relationship, and you’re ready to get back out there and start dating again.
You see, even if a relationship ends, I believe that every relationship is useful in one way or another.
Every single relationship teaches us something about ourselves, and most importantly, about what we want and need in a relationship.
One thing that will tell you the no-contact rule is working, is when you have a much clearer idea of what you want in a future partner.
That’s the nice thing about relationships – you learn how to set boundaries and raise your standards for the future.
That’s why the no-contact rule is so important.
All of this will make you a much better partner for the future.
10) You feel strong and independent again
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is that you feel strong and independent again.
You’ve processed all the emotions you needed to process, and you’re ready to focus on the future.
The thing is, when you go through a breakup, it is easy to get lost in feelings of weakness, unworthiness, and separation.
You want nothing more than to be able to feel strong, independent, and free again.
The no-contact rule is one of the best ways to get back to feeling strong, independent, and free.
You’re not focusing on the past anymore, and you’re ready to move on with your life.
You’re feeling strong and independent again – ready for a new relationship.
You see, with the no-contact rule, you are the one calling the shots, you decide whether or not you are contacting your ex.
This alone is enough to give you back a sense of power, let alone all the benefits that come with a no-contact rule.
But after a while, you will also notice that being single has its perks and that you are doing great.
That’s when you will start to feel independent and strong – you are happy, with or without a partner, and that’s a flex not a lot of people have!
11) You’ve processed all the emotions you need to process
Another sign that the no-contact rule is working is that you’ve processed all the emotions you needed to process about your breakup.
You’ve gone through the grieving process and you’re ready to move on with your life.
You’re not holding onto any feelings of resentment or regret, and you’re ready to look back on your relationship with clarity and acceptance.
You’ve let go of any feelings of bitterness or anger you might have been holding onto, and you’re ready to focus on what the future holds for you.
When you’ve processed all the emotions you needed to process about your breakup, you’re ready to get back into the dating scene again.
After a breakup, there is usually a lot to process, no matter how the relationship ended.
Sometimes, it’s an amicable breakup, but there will still be some negative emotions that you’re going to experience.
When a relationship ends, it’s normal to feel sad, to feel lonely, or angry.
It’s normal to feel any of those emotions as well as some other ones that you might have experienced during your breakup.
You might be feeling a lot of different emotions after a breakup, but they should all be healthy feelings.
Now: once you realize that your emotions seem to stabilize a bit and you no longer feel as much sadness, anger, or other negative emotions, that’s a sign that your no-contact rule is working out well for you!
Give it time
The no contact rule is probably the best thing you can do for yourself and your ex-partner when you break up.
At first, it will feel really difficult to pull through with this rule, especially when you aren’t sure if what you are doing is the right thing.
However, the longer you keep going, the more you will realize that you are doing the right thing and that it is working.
Hopefully, these signs have helped you out a bit and showed you that you are on the right path!
