Valentine’s Day is without a doubt one of the most exciting Hallmark holidays out there. Who doesn’t love the idea of romance, and celebrating people having found one another?
However, it can also be a difficult holiday that highly accentuates the pain of a recent break up or lost love that you are having a hard time moving beyond. With the notion of romance in the air (hello, have you noticed how many engagement ring ads are trending on Spotify right now?), it has the power of bringing back painful memories of the relationship that did not work out for whatever reason.
Without a doubt, falling in love is one of the greatest things that can happen in your life. You ideally find not only your lover, but also a best friend who is your other half. Inevitably, with heartbreak comes the feeling that you’ve lost a piece of yourself and the person you’ve become over the course of the relationship. So, it totally makes sense that you will need to take time in order to heal.
So, how do you go about the healing process, and who is going to be the one who calms your heart and eases the undeniable pain?
Well, the reality is that as much as you wish it could be the ex who will leap into your life again, it’s probably not going to be, at least long-term, due to that the trust is broken and that you all have parted ways for unique reasons. In some cases, yes, couples will get back together, but there will be irrefutable baggage.
You could always go the route of meeting someone new (ah that good ‘ol phrase “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”), but honestly, until you have that true connection with another guy, going on dates and/or hooking up will equate to the idea of a band aid covering up a wound. Yes, casual dating can be a fantastic pain-numbing distraction, however, it will not put your heart back together or address the deep-rooted issue of lost love.
The last option is to take it upon yourself to heal, and it will ultimately lead you to hop back on the saddle again, so to speak, stronger and happier than ever. By taking time to just focus on bettering yourself, you are allowing the necessary time to deal with the heartbreak and go through the emotional process.
Here are some helpful tips to think about if you are in the midst of heartbreak this Valentine’s Day:
Allow yourself to feel. If you want to laugh or cry with friends, go for it. Take the time to vent, journal, get upset, or celebrate being free and single. It’s important not to suppress your emotions. Just let them out. This is where your girlfriends are the best. Lean on them (and family) for support. If you feel like getting dressed up in something like this for Valentine’s Day and hitting the town, totally go for it!
Credit: Buy Lotuz Hourglass Lace Dress in Red from Gnossem
Or, if you want to buy yourself some lingerie and just watch chick flicks, that’s cool too! Whatever makes you feel great and confident in who you are.
Credit: Buy Philippe Matignon Scarlett Camisole from Gnossem
Be proud to stand on your own. And know that it doesn’t mean you will forever. However, take this time to realize that you do not actually need a man…it’s just that you want one. Holding out for the right one is key though, and you should celebrate being free from the wrong match.
You’re free, so celebrate and spin in a circle like this gorgeous gal!
Detach from the ex. Out of sight, out of mind, ladies. As hard as it is, try with all your might to avoid any sort of contact with him. Even a simple text exchange could jog certain memories and make you miss him, so make a true effort to be out of touch for an extended period of time.
List your strengths. Remind yourself of why YOU are an awesome catch. You just happened to be with the wrong guy. So, take out your laptop or your journal, and write out all the amazingly wonderful and unique qualities that make up you.
Focus on bettering yourself and helping others. Whether it is career, working out or volunteering, take this time to shift your focus on positive aspects of your life. Give yourself new goals, challenge yourself to explore ideas and activities you’ve never even thought possible. You are awesome and now is the PERFECT time to reclaim you!
Lastly, trust in your heart, and have faith that there will be another love. Someone better and more deserving of you will find their way into your life at the right time.
Overall, you are the one who has the power to look at this outwardly difficult time as a blessing in disguise, and utilize the chapter as one in which you can ready and improve yourself for the new love that is on his way.
So, hang in, embrace where you are, and keep on going. Onward and upward, ladies!
From our friends at Mogul