As a child born in the 1990s, I distinctly recall the oft-repeated mantra of the modern parent: Don’t talk to strangers – on the internet. Fear-mongering had turned real life stranger danger to the nebulous, the unknown, the dark: the internet. In 2016, online dating is more common than anyone – especially our poor, paranoid parents – could have imagined. What used to be stereotyped as a realm for creeps and deviants is a common meeting ground for people of all types.
Concerns and praise alike have risen about the niche nature of dating sites. Before we delve into the current situation, let’s take a look at how online dating began – and how it’s taken over.
Although online dating is on the rise, stats are still low. Only 5% of Americans in a relationship say they met online, but at least 10% of people are online daters.
Online dating isn’t a fad. Before the internet, people used messaging systems, meeting points, real bulletin boards, blind dates, and all manner of contact methods to find what they were looking for, with good or ill intent. The medium for meeting has shifted, but the driving force of companionship has not. Even arranged marriages are part of this system, often involving dossiers and interviews – much like an online dating profile and first in-person meet up.
91 million people currently use dating apps. 2/3 of that number are male. Apps allow for increased anonymity and segmentation; a double-edged sword if there ever was one. Someone can protect themselves with a username and limited sharing settings so a potential match can’t stalk them, but this anonymity also eases catfishing scams and fake identities.
Sites like Ashley Madison exist for those seeking extramarital affairs – the definition of anonymous and segmented searches. Who knows what other seamy underbelly sites and forums exist to ease, say, human trafficking? Sites exist to facilitate meetings between prostitutes and clients. Information about these modern captives – and their current locations – is available for those who know where to look.
Still, segmentation benefits those who have difficulty meeting people in their daily lives. Those in the LGBT community have apps like Grindr and can change their dating profile preferences so only those they are interested in can contact them.
Predictions point to an ongoing rise in online dating, even claiming that 50% of all relationships will begin online by 2031. Sites like OKCupid make match predictions based on interests and lifestyle, but leaving love up to technology seems reductive. But technology also brings those far apart closer together. Virtual realities may bring partners across the world peace and comfort as we evolve from Skype to immersive environments.
If we continue to integrate technology into our lives, we may have more than online dating to worry about – fears of human codependency on machines have been around as long as machines themselves.
I don’t think we’re on the path to total cyborgization, but I’d consider myself fairly traditional. I have no idea if I’ll like someone based on an online dating profile, and it certainly allows the dregs of society to harass you at will. But many people first meet as friends on social networking sites like Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook. My father and stepmother met on a segmented dating site in the mid-2000s. If it works for you, go for it. Keep an inquisitive – and research-oriented – mind. Be smart. There’s context to every historical moment – yes, even ours. We just can’t see it yet!
Statistics:
How Dating Apps Have Evolved Relationships Infographic
