You and I both know that the world of online dating can be an exhilarating, whirlwind adventure.
It’s like opening a mystery box.
There could be a charming prince inside or… an obnoxious troll.
And we sure don’t want any trolls in our fairy tale, do we?
The online space has transformed the dating world, making it easier for us to meet new people from the comfort of our homes.
Still, this same ease often invites all sorts of characters into our inboxes.
So, to help you navigate this often-bewildering universe, here’s a friendly guide to five types of men you’d be wise to avoid while online dating.
1) The over-committer
Let’s kick things off with a category that can send anyone on a roller-coaster ride: the Over-Committer, or as I fondly refer to him, Mr. Too-Into-You-Too-Soon.
Picture this: it’s been mere days, perhaps only hours since you’ve matched, exchanged a couple of pleasantries, maybe shared a bit about your favorite pastimes, and suddenly he’s all about you.
You’ve barely scratched the surface of getting to know each other, and he’s already visualizing sunsets together, daydreaming about your intertwined future, and going as far as jesting about what you would name your future kids on your first virtual coffee date.
At first, it can feel incredibly flattering.
Who wouldn’t like to be adored, right?
But let’s be realistic here.
Real, profound love and commitment don’t blossom overnight.
They need to be nurtured with time, patience, and understanding, much like a delicate sapling needs sun, soil, and water to grow into a sturdy tree.
Love is about diving deep, exploring the essence of each other, fostering trust, building mutual respect, and finding common grounds, while still cherishing the differences.
So, if you find yourself caught in the web of an Over-Committer, hit the pause button.
Take a step back, breathe, and assess the situation.
Why is he in such a hurry?
Is it you that he’s fallen for, or is it simply the idealized, probably romanticized notion of being in a relationship?
Or worse, is he using these emotions to mask his insecurities or emotional instability?
Bear in mind, I’m not suggesting you completely write off all men who seem to be moving a bit too quickly.
Some people just have a flair for the romantic, and they might genuinely believe in love-at-first-text.
But, it’s crucial for you to take your time, observe, and ensure their feelings are rooted in their interest for you as an individual, rather than a convenient partner in their hurry to be in a relationship.
2) The disappearing act
Have you met a guy who texts you all the time for a week and then suddenly stops?
Let me tell you about what I call the Disappearing Act.
It’s like a quick summer storm in the dating world.
The guy shows up, causes a stir, and then leaves, making you wonder if he was ever there.
This guy loves the excitement of chasing someone new.
He’s drawn to the thrill of a new relationship, the butterflies in your stomach, the happiness, and the mystery of what might happen next.
But when it’s time to work on making the relationship strong and really getting to know each other, he’s gone.
His sudden disappearance is like a magic trick, but it’s not impressive; it’s confusing and painful.
Remember, a relationship, even a new one, shouldn’t feel like a crazy rollercoaster with big ups and downs.
Being steady is important, and if you’re always wondering where he is or when he’ll text you next, it’s a warning sign.
This unpredictable behavior often means he’s not ready or willing to put in the work for a real relationship.
Don’t settle for less.
You deserve someone who stays charming and exciting, someone as steady and dependable as they are interesting.
3) The self-obsessed showoff
Have you ever talked to a guy online who seems to care only about himself?
You’ll know him when you see him.
His online profile is full of pictures of expensive sports cars, beautiful vacation spots, and fancy designer clothes.
Talking to him is like listening to a one-man show.
Every text is all about how great he is, how much he’s done, and how amazing his life is.
This is Mr. Self-Obsessed Showoff.
He’s so focused on his own story that he never even asks about yours.
It’s okay to be proud of what you’ve done and to share good things that have happened to you.
Those things help make you who you are.
But if a man always talks about himself and wants everyone to clap for him, it might be a sign of a bigger problem.
Maybe he’s showing off because he’s actually not confident deep down, or maybe he doesn’t feel good enough about himself.
Remember, a real relationship is about two people sharing thoughts, feelings, and what’s happened to them.
It’s about both people, not just one.
Connecting with someone is hard, if not impossible, if they’re always talking about themselves and not interested in your life.
Balance is what makes a relationship work.
Anyone who really cares about you will want to hear your stories as much as they want to tell their own.
4) The serial flirt
Meet the Serial Flirt: a guy who’s really good at sweet-talking and making people fall for him.
He knows just what to say to make you feel special, giving you compliments and making you feel like you’re the only one he cares about.
His messages will make you feel good, and he seems really charming.
But be careful, because this kind of guy might be talking to many people at the same time in a romantic way.
It’s normal when you first start dating online to talk to several people to figure out what you want in a partner. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But honesty is key here.
If you feel like he’s not being real with you, or if he’s not clear about what he wants, he might not really be interested in a serious relationship.
So, make sure you tell him what you want and what your limits are.
Don’t accept less than what you want.
Don’t let nice words fool you if they don’t feel real.
Your feelings, what you’re comfortable with, and what you expect from him are really important, and he should respect that.
If you feel like he’s not being honest or playing games without telling you, it might be time to think about whether this is the person you want to give your time and feelings to.
5) The negging expert
Last on our list is a character that’s not very nice: the Negging Expert.
This person is tricky and acts charming, but he’s really not.
What he does is give you compliments that don’t really feel like compliments.
They sound nice at first but have a mean part to them.
He enjoys making these sly, negative comments that can make you feel bad about yourself.
Why does he do this?
He thinks that if he makes you feel down, you’ll try harder to get his attention.
He wants to feel more important.
Remember this well: anyone who tries to make you feel bad about yourself to make themselves feel better doesn’t deserve your time, energy, or love.
You are special and wonderful just as you are.
You deserve respect and real love, not games that mess with your head.
The things that make you different, whether good or bad, make you the amazing person you are.
The right guy will see this and love it.
He won’t try to make you feel small so he can feel big.
He’ll make you feel good about yourself and love you for who you really are.
Don’t let the Negging Expert or anyone else tell you anything different.
The right person will love you not just for your smile or your eyes but for the beautiful person you are inside.
Happy swiping!
In conclusion, when navigating the world of online dating, don’t let these potential pitfalls discourage you.
Instead, let them serve as a guide to help you avoid any unnecessary heartache.
It’s okay to be selective, maintain your boundaries, and prioritize your well-being above all else.
And always remember this: The right man – one who respects you, values you, and is genuinely interested in getting to know you – is out there.
You might need to sift through a few of these guys first, but he’s worth the wait.
