Break ups suck no matter who you are — but creative types have honed their artistic skill set to cope with losing love. As you make your way through the various emotions of ending a romantic relationship, maybe consider borrowing some inspired ideas from artists’ break-up kits.
Here are five items to keep close when your heart is broken:
Books
Yes, you do want to deal with your feelings. It isn’t healthy to push them away. But it also isn’t productive to wallow in the sadness. Picking up a book can help you escape your circumstances and journey to another place and time. You can relate to others and find commonality with characters upon the pages.
Adult readers are more aware of social issues along with diversity, than non-readers. Readers also have 57% greater cultural understanding as well as 21% more general knowledge. This translates into having a broader view on the world, and keeping an open mind. It also can expand minds and actually increase creativity in readers.
Yes, your break-up will still be there when you close the book, but you’ll have experienced a reprieve and perhaps even gained some perspective. When you read your sense of connectedness expands far beyond your immediate social circles, and well past your ex.
A Comfy Sweater
Don’t be the tortured artist type that hits the self-destruct button when a romance ends. Leave the plug in the jug of whiskey, tequila or whatever your poison of choice is.
Instead dig into the back of your closest and find a big comfy sweater. Just like a painter or sculptor who uses old clothes when working and creating in the studio. Pull it on and savor that your own body heat and heart beating fill the garment with warmth and comfort. This act of self-soothing is important in healing from a broken heart.
According to psychologist Kristin Neff, Ph.D., physical touch, even a hug from ourselves, releases oxytocin, the hormone of love and bonding. This means you’ll experience a sense of security while calming any cardiovascular stress.
A Note Pad (or Coloring book)
Sharpen some pencil canyons or pop the lid of fancy pens and get doodling to get taken away with the flow of it all. It doesn’t matter what you draw or how your draw it — it’s the act that matters.
This art therapy-type activity can reduces stress and even help to organize your thoughts. When facing a break-up you’re getting all kinds of “the feels”, so putting pen to paper and letting the images stream out of you can help you focus and gain perspective.
If you’re intimidated by having to sketch a realistic or “good” picture, pick up a coloring book. You’ll reap the same benefits of freehand drawing.
Chocolate
It isn’t a good idea to quiet our difficult emotions with any substance or even food. It’s important like a cold, to let sadness make its way through your system. But having a dose of dark chocolate can benefit any artist or average Joe.
It doesn’t just taste good, chocolate can make you feel good. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine (PEA) — the exact same chemical that your grey matter produces when you’re falling in love. This PEA promotes the release of feel-good endorphins in your brain.
Yoga Mat
Roll out the yoga mat or a comfy blanket and just sit. That’s right, no need to do anything. This might sound crazy and hard. But taking this quiet time, where you aren’t distracting yourself, you can see beyond mental blocks and actually change your mind — literally!
A Harvard study found that meditation can actually change the structure of the brain. By practicing this mindfulness, there will be a reduction in the brain cell volume in the amygdala, this is the stuff that’s responsible for fear and worry.
Meditating can also up the cortical thickness in your hippocampus, which controls learning and recollection. Not only that, it also helps in emotion regulation.
Breaking up is never fun to do but it can be an essential move to realize your best self and the life you dream of. As you evolve through the separation process think like an artist and access tools they use. This will allow you to find self-nourishing ways to ease the pain and confusion.
