Breaks ups are the worst. No matter if your relationship lasted weeks or years, a bad break up can make you feel worthless, lost and affect your physical health, too.
You can’t suck it up and get over it, because you have to heal in your own time. The only adult thing you have to do right now is be kind to yourself. So, accept what you feel. You will grieve. You will feel abandoned and angry. You may not know what to do our how to deal to heal. Fortunately, there are some old school ways of coping with a bad break up that still work.
- Pajamas and Ice Cream Therapy
After the aftermath of a break up, your body isn’t going to feel like getting up for your morning routine. Put on your most cozy pajamas, and go right to the freezer. Take out the cookies ‘n cream. Grab a spoon. Eating right out of the container is okay, because your body literally is aching for something sweet in the face of sadness. Treat yourself well.
Call your coolest friend to come over and eat ice cream with you. Your friend will be down for binge watching a TV show, eating ice cream and sitting in awkward silence (and awkward crying), no questions asked. It’s important to feel safe right now. You need every single creamy, delicious bite of that ice cream.
A little indulgence is okay, but remember to eat a healthy whole meal, too. Let the people you love take you out and cook for you. Foods with tons of sugar and salt can add to higher levels of stress. That’s why you call your coolest friend, who knows how to let you reach the right level of ice cream bliss.
- Get Active
It’s easy to get stuck in a break up rut. You want to lay in bed and feel bad. It may not feel possible to feel anything else, but just the simple act of getting up is a big deal. Shake it out, instead of shutting it up!
Bringing awareness to your body gets you out of your head. Exercise gets your heart pumping and circulating blood, but you don’t have to run to be active. Have a dance party in the middle of the bedroom, or make a break up workout. Pick Zumba-like songs, and make up your own wacky routine. You could also go to Zumba or yoga with a friend. By connecting with your body, you connect with yourself.
- Write it Out
“Dear Diary” is not just for middle-school drama. Turn to your journal for a safe space at any age, to let your emotions leak out onto the page. No one else reads this, unless you want them to read what you wrote.
When you write in a journal you’re talking to yourself, but it also feels like writing a letter to a familiar friend who won’t judge you. There is no judgement, and you’re able to look back at your writing later. You can write a goodbye letter to your ex for closure. You may analyze old patterns in relationships to grow from them. You can also write about how strong you really are.
- Scream in a Pillow
Children scream and make interesting noises as they learn language and communication. Yet, you’re not a baby for wanting to wail out your pain. Screaming is a primal act and expresses primal emotion that you don’t have the words for—Sometimes, it just needs to be out.
It’s okay. Scream into a pillow. You’re giving yourself a fluffy shoulder to wail on without calling the police to your door. You’re human, and every emotion you have is valid. Not only is it okay, it is necessary to scream.
- Call Your Mother or a Loved One
Call your mother, who always knows what to say. Call a loved one who knows you the best, who has been there for all of the breakups. This person knows you for all of your strengths and flaws and loves you unconditionally. Call the one person who has watched you grow through so much and will remind you of that.
This person will let you mumble for however long you need. Don’t be surprised when Mom or your friend shows up on your doorstep with food and a helping hand.
You’re going to be okay, but right now you need to do what you have to do—for you. It’s very important that you take care of yourself, and that also means letting loved ones in, too.
Call your mother. Call a friend. Stay in your pajamas. Have a random dance party. Scream and cry into a pillow. Write it out. Breathe, and brush your teeth. You’ve got this, and those you love have got your back.
Kacey is a lifestyle blogger for “The Drifter Collective.” Throughout her life, she has found excitement in the world around her.
