Navigating relationships can be a tricky business, especially when it comes to understanding intentions.
If he’s doing certain things, it might just mean he wants you on his terms.
It’s not about manipulating you, but rather about him setting the rules of the game.
In this article, we’re going to talk about the 7 tell-tale signs that he’s trying to call all the shots.
These are signs you need to look out for if you want a relationship that’s on equal terms.
1) He calls the shots on when you meet
Relationships aren’t a one-way street.
They’re about mutual respect and consideration.
If he’s the one always setting the date and time for when you meet, it could be a sign that he’s trying to control the relationship.
Think about it.
Are you always adjusting your schedule to fit his?
Does he never consider your availability or preferences?
This might seem like a small thing, but it can be an indication of a bigger issue at hand.
He might just be trying to set the terms of your relationship according to his convenience.
2) He decides how the relationship progresses
Personal experience has taught me that relationships need to grow at a pace that is comfortable for both parties.
I remember being in a relationship where my partner was always in a hurry.
He wanted to move in together after just three months of dating.
I wasn’t ready, but I was afraid of losing him, so I agreed.
Looking back, I realize that it was his way of controlling the relationship.
He was dictating the pace, and I was just tagging along.
If he’s always setting the milestones and timelines in your relationship without considering your comfort or readiness, it might be a sign he wants you on his terms.
True relationships allow both parties to have a say in decisions that affect them equally.
3) He doesn’t take your opinions into account
Communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship.
It’s not just about expressing your thoughts and feelings, but also valuing and respecting your partner’s opinions.
If he makes decisions without consulting you or disregards your input, it shows a lack of respect for your opinion.
Waluing your partner’s opinion is a key component of a successful relationship.
Ignoring your voice in matters that concern both of you could be a sign that he wants things his way, without considering your views or feelings.
4) He avoids discussing the future
Planning for the future is an essential part of any serious relationship.
It’s about setting goals and making plans together as a team.
If he avoids these discussions or changes the topic whenever you bring it up, it could be a warning sign.
He might be trying to keep things on his terms, avoiding commitments that could potentially change his course.
A relationship isn’t just about the present.
It’s about building a future together.
If he’s not willing to discuss or consider this, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship.
5) He keeps you separate from other parts of his life
I once dated someone who seemed to live two separate lives – one with me and one with everyone else.
I was never introduced to his friends or family and knew little about his work life.
I thought it was because he wanted our relationship to be private, special.
But over time, I realized it was a way for him to maintain control.
Keeping me separate allowed him to dictate what parts of his life I had access to.
If he’s keeping you away from his friends, family, or even his daily routines, it could be because he wants to keep the relationship on his terms.
He gets to decide when and how you fit into his life.
A genuine partnership requires integration, not separation.
It’s about sharing lives and growing together.
6) He’s not considerate of your feelings
In a relationship, being considerate of each other’s feelings is crucial. It’s about understanding, empathy, and kindness.
If he disregards your feelings, makes light of your concerns, or brushes off your worries, it’s a clear sign he’s not considering your emotional well-being.
It could be a way for him to maintain control and keep the relationship on his terms.
Your feelings matter.
If he’s unwilling or unable to take them into account, it might be time to reassess where you stand in the relationship.
7) He doesn’t make an effort to understand you
The core of any relationship is understanding.
It’s about knowing each other’s quirks, preferences, dreams, and fears.
If he doesn’t make an effort to understand you, to know what makes you tick, it’s a glaring red flag.
It shows he’s not interested in you as an individual, but rather wants a relationship that fits his mold.
This is perhaps the biggest indicator that he wants you on his terms.
Because without understanding, there is no true connection and without connection, a relationship cannot thrive.
It’s about respect
At the heart of any thriving relationship is mutual respect.
It’s about understanding that while you are two individuals, you’re also a team.
These signs we’ve discussed are not just about him wanting you on his terms, but also about a lack of respect for you as an equal partner.
Respect is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship.
It’s about valuing each other’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences.
If he’s showing these signs, it might be time to reflect on whether the relationship is truly serving your best interests.
Remember, you deserve a relationship that respects your individuality and values your input.
Don’t settle for anything less.
You owe it to yourself to be in a relationship where you are loved and valued, not just on his terms, but on yours as well.
