5 Things We Can Learn from Carrie Bradshaw’s Relationship with Alexander Petrovsky
Author Bio
MinkoffPeter
3 posts so farThe fictional Carrie Bradshaw is a well of inspiration that never seems to dry. From her outfit to her relationship choices, there is a plethora of things to analyze about this woman. In one of our previous articles, we covered a topic of all the style lies she told us during the course of the show. Today we’re switching the focus to her relationships, specifically the last one she was in before she finally found eternal bliss with the man she wanted all along – Mr. Big. We’re going to dive into the good and the bad, so hopefully this will be a teachable moment for all those who glorified her mistakes, but also an homage to some of the things she did right.
The friendship issue
During the course of their relationship, Petrovsky was, on more than one occasion, downright rude to Carrie’s friends. While we do get that he’s an artist and that he comes from a world in which more important and sophisticated dinner conversation topics are his forte, he shouldn’t have been cold, distant and putting her friends down during the cringe-worthy dinner they had. In addition, he would never even bring up the topic of meeting her friends if she didn’t push it, which she had every right to do. Okay, your boyfriend doesn’t have to be ‘besties’ with your besties, but if a relationship is going to work, it is truly vital for them to at least get along and be respectful to each other on the occasions they are in the same room. This only goes to show that, even though her heart was in the right place, Carrie made a poor boyfriend choice, because friendships are important, and when there is no mutual respect in sight, it is doomed to fail.
Change of boyfriend, change of style
We get that this is a TV show, so we’re not even going to get into the whole ‘where does she get the money for all this with a mortgage over her head?’. No, this time, it’s about principle. As soon as she started dating the rich and important artist, Carrie took her style to a whole new level. From the Russian inspired telnyashka tops and non-ironic pearls, 5-figure haute couture dresses and even more extravagant shoes, she really outdid herself while dating Petrovsky. While some might argue that she truly did look her best in this final season, and we agree, the bone we have to pick with her is the one concerning boyfriends and style. Every time she has a new man in her life her style changes almost completely. With Big she was sexy and polished, with Aidan she was kooky with a touch of that cowgirl/western style. Then there was Berger, and all of a sudden, she dressed like a writer/grandma. Please, oh please, if you’re reading this, never ever change your style for a man. You have worked on establishing it for so long, so never let a man change that aspect of you.
Nothing in common
Carrie was right to call him her lover at the beginning of their romance, and she even had the ‘goods’ to back the claim up. She knew from the get-go that they have nothing in common, that he’s often away and as someone who needs attention, she should have never allowed herself to become anything more than his ‘part-time lover’. Yes he’s charming, yes he’s foreign, exotic and, as far as we could make out from her vague telling – a good lover indeed. However, that’s all he should have remained. Lesson: while opposites do at times attract, if you have absolutely nothing in common with the person aside from passion, let it go. There is no future there as this person will never understand you, never truly see you. You are from different planets, so no matter how attracted to someone you are, leave before you get hurt. It will never grow into a true partnership.
You vs. work
This is another classic Carrie. Sometimes she simply can’t take a hint. She was so obsessed with comparing the lovely grand gestures from Petrovsky that she never got from Big, that she was completely oblivious to the fact that this man cherished his work more than anything. She says, quite dramatically, that she was looking for real love and that she never should have come to Paris, but girlfriend should have gotten the clue long before she packed her bags and set sail to France. This man was obsessed with his work even in New York – she just chose to turn a blind eye to that. So, the lesson here is – if the man puts his work in front of you from the very beginning, don’t live in the delusion that that will change. We applaud people who are passionate about what they do, but if you’re the type of person who needs to come first in someone’s life, don’t expect a man like Petrovsky to change for you – he never will, it’s just who he is.
While on the topic of work…
While this sort of thing happens only to a small percentage of us, it’s still worth mentioning. Carrie was so overwhelmed with Petrovsky’s offer to come and live in Paris with him, that it didn’t take her long enough before she had her designer luggage all filled up with couture and ready to cross the ocean, and for a man she’s known half a season. While it can be super-romantic to make a mutual decision to move to another country or even just another city, before you make such a life-altering decision, think about your work, your life and your friends. There are guys who will always try to put your needs last, but that doesn’t mean you should treat yourself the same. Always, always put yourself first and before making huge decisions, put your thinking hat on, especially if you’ve been with a guy no more than 6 months.