We all know at least one woman who always, without exception, looks like she’s got it all going on. This is the woman who’s perpetually radiant with joy, confidence, laughter and that subtle but palpable dominance of every room she’s in. She simply owns the room. The best part of it all is that she makes self-love and confidence seem like something you just effortlessly pick up sometime in your life and just carry it from that day on. We are in awe of this woman and go as far as to think that there is either some magic potion you can take to instantly become like her or that the situation is hopeless because certain women are just born with it.
Luckily for the rest of us, neither magic nor that “Maybelline – maybe she’s born with it” have anything to do with confidence. It is something you groom and foster, something you grow into and it involves a set of very specific habits that all of us can adopt and sooner than later become that woman. You can also own the room, you just need a little helping hand, so read on carefully, take notes and adopt these lifestyle habits that will get you to the person you want to be.
1. She just brushes it off
We all gossip, that is something that can’t be denied. However, while certain types of rumours are just humorous, others can be malicious and truly hurtful. However, when she hears that something mean was said about her, a confident woman doesn’t let it hit her close to home. She is aware that there will always be people who don’t like her, and that’s OK. She’s also aware of the fact that some people have small lives and have nothing better to do than put others down in an attempt to elevate themselves, so she just lets them have their fun and goes about her day completely unaffected. Why? Because she knows her worth and that knowledge is so strong that no amount of rumours can shake her.
2. “Oh my god, she’s gorgeous”
A confident woman knows that paying someone a compliment, whether it regards looks, brains, an achievement or anything from that category doesn’t make her any less smart, beautiful or competent. Strong women aren’t afraid that by lifting another woman they might put themselves in the shade. Quite the opposite – strong and amazing women lift others on purpose, because the more confident women there are, the better.
Sincerely complimenting other women also means she is never threatened or jealous by their positive traits. It only shows how she sees the good in others and how she prefers to focus on the positives versus the negatives. Quite naturally, optimistic people also tend to be more confident as they always believe in themselves and their own best traits. They don’t dwell on the negativities, whether it’s on themselves or others.
3. She knows her flaws
We’re not supermodels, we’re real women. You don’t have to look like a supermodel in order to nurture self-love. Confident women are fine with their body type and the little imperfections on their face. They know all of these things make them unique, so they embrace their flaws rather than letting them become a source of insecurity. You see, confidence is not rooted in looks, and you most definitely don’t have to have the body of Heidi Klum and the face of Margot Robbie. Whatever happened to brains, interests, being interesting and charismatic, full of hobbies and having loving and supportive friends? A real self-loving woman knows that beauty plays just a tiny role in the movie called “confidence” so she won’t place it at the beginning of the movie credits.
If you see her use beauty hashtags on her social media snaps, they’re all about loving yourself and embracing your flaws. You won’t see her hide her imperfections. Instead, you’ll see her confidence radiate through them. She exudes that kind of confidence that’s contagious enough to make you want to embrace your own imperfections too, scars and all.
4. She’s well-groomed
Yes, appearances play a small role, but that doesn’t mean that role should be totally neglected. You have the skin you live in, so it’s your job to make it look the best it can. This is where finding just the right makeup look, clothes that compliment and flatter her figure and little secrets such as regular facials, excellent skin and hair care. She may be perfectly comfortable with the things she can’t change, but she will take care of the things that can be fixed or slightly altered if she knows it will bring her more joy and spring in her step.
She always appears well put together. Even if she dresses simply, her confidence makes her look effortlessly beautiful because of the positivity she exudes. She’ll leave you wondering how she manages such a feat even without lifting a finger. The more time you spend with her, the more inspired you get to look and feel the same.
5. She knows when not to apologize
She is that kind person who will always say “I’m sorry” if she bumps into someone on the street. She will let other people take the elevator and she’ll wait for the next one. She will apologize when she knows she’s wrong, because she knows that she isn’t always right. The one thing, however, she will never apologize for is her ambition and her drive. You can call her bossy and aggressive but she knows these are just cowardly words that are used instead of assertive and confident.
She will work hard but she will never be a doormat. She is the woman who will politely but decisively ask for a raise and a promotion when she feels that she’s paid her dues and now it’s time for her to get what she deserves. She never apologizes to her partner if she earns more than him, but she’s also kind and confident enough to never bring it up or rub his nose in it. This is confidence 101. Kindness mixed with a completely unapologetic attitude.
In case you’re an introvert by nature, it may take more effort to get you out of your shell, but that doesn’t mean you have to change who you are. That’s the beauty of self-confidence – loving yourself no matter what. Therefore, if assertiveness isn’t your strong suit, just work on that bit, but as for all the rest of these habits, you can practice them while still being you. Just give it a try and you’ll see.