I had always had a thing for this friend of mine – we got really close in a very short period of time (much shorter than what would be expected for people who are “just friends”. I’m talking weeks here. Maybe not even that.), and we were always kind of acting like we were a couple (and a lot of our friends thought that we were a couple because of this). We were going out on dates and texting each other almost every day, and we were very active on each other’s Instagram, Facebook, etc.
She told me that she wanted me to date her, and we dated for almost two weeks before she changed her mind and said that she wanted to break up with me. I had given her plenty of opportunities to back out of the relationship before it was too late (I actually outright said ‘”If you’re not 100% sure, you probably shouldn’t do it”), but she didn’t listen and then told me that she wanted to break up at possibly the worst moment (I told her that I wanted to kiss her and she told me that she wanted to break up with me…).
I was in shock for at least a week (couldn’t eat or sleep properly, couldn’t concentrate on any of my work, and people tell me that I have been rapidly losing weight since the break up). After a few days of messaging, she told me that she just didn’t see things in that way anymore.
But she still wants to be really close friends with me. And I don’t know if I can do it, especially after everything that has happened. She’s basically asking me to act like I’m her girlfriend, but not be her girlfriend. Which is just incredibly confusing and hurtful (and probably a bit manipulative tbh).
It’s been two months since the break-up, and one month since I last spoke to her (although she’s still pinning that label of “friends” onto our broken relationship…).
My friends and family are worried for my health (both physical and mental), and everyone is telling me to cut her out of my life, but I honestly don’t know what that would do to her…
I don’t know what to do. Trying to win her back seems pointless (although I would still take her back if that was what she wanted), but if I continue to act like I’m just her friend, she’ll begin to think that she’s been forgiven and that she didn’t really hurt me that much (she acknowledges that she’s hurt me a lot because of this, but whenever I see her or talk to her in person she acts with complete disregard to my feelings and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with that), and she’ll start to think that it’s okay to do that to other people. I think I should just leave it for now.
I feel like this wouldn’t be as bad if we hadn’t been as close before this happened. I guess it’s the fact that this means that this is the end of the friendship as well as the romantic relationship that makes this really sad.
Oh, and this was also my first romantic relationship. You know. Just to add a bit more salt to the wound.
