Sweatsuedo – Yes, It’s A Thing

$99
Real world price
$15
Breakup price

I’m selling...

This is a velour track suit – Medium Sized. “Uncle Tony” Model. See Sweatsuedo.com for more particular information on the thread count you can expect against your bare, cold skin after you realize the level of assholery you have unknowingly committed to. This gift was intended to let you all know that (a) he has a call-sign, and (b) I am…property? These things are actually quite comfortable – if you are cool with dropping $250 on a vanity piece to wear around the house. I.E. if you are privileged and have zero shame.

Because...

…because he couldn’t just pee on me and waltz off to the next fire hydrant? Sometimes people are delusional and propose, spend several thousands of dollars on velour suits for your family – while dating other women behind your back. Expensive little hobby, no? Does this sound rational? No? Well, these are the high-functioning alcoholics that are running the grand ‘ole U.S.of A. Question everything.

My bounce back plan is...

funds will go toward my 24K Gold Crave Tilt necklace.

Breakup stage:

Grateful

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