Right around this time two years ago I was falling in love. It wasn’t expected and I wasn’t looking for it, but I fell hard. And so did she.
Despite the odds—and there were many—we both wanted to make a relationship work. Before we’d even begun to try, we were already up against nearly 500 miles of distance, more than a decade separating our ages, our respective past experience with long distance relationships, her obligations to graduate school and work, and little to no emotional support for the relationship from her family. Alone, each one of these factors would have been challenging enough to deal with. Together—at least in retrospect—they seem insurmountable.
But we made it work for a while, and it was incredible. She was incredible, and I had fallen for her completely. It seemed like we might make it after all….
Now it looks like the odds have caught up with us. She’s drifted farther and farther away from me over the past several months, to the point that my texts, phone calls, emails, and letters have gone unanswered for some time. I haven’t actually heard from her in two weeks.
I struggle to understand how everything has changed so drastically to the point that she’s completely shut me out when I’d been such an important part of her life before. At least I thought I had been. Maybe I’m just naive. Maybe I just don’t understand what her life is like now, as much as I want to. For months I’ve stubbornly resisted reading the writing on the wall, especially since I have yet to get a definitive answer from her as to whether this is, in fact, over. Still, as much as I don’t want to, as much as I still love her, I guess it’s time to accept what’s become of us and let go.
