If you’re scratching your head right now, you’re not alone. I had no idea what “phubbing” was until I googled it, and though I was pleasantly surprised to find it wasn’t some stupid, dangerous new game for teenagers (thank goodness “planking” has died off), I was slightly alarmed to find it’s something I do almost every time I’m upset with someone. And it’s not healthy.
According to the campaign’s website (the term was coined for a campaign by Macquarie Dictionary), “phubbing” is the act of snubbing someone in a social setting by looking at your phone instead of paying attention. It sounds quite silly, but it’s growing into a bit of problem for some people (for instance, 87% of teens prefer texting over face-to-face interaction, which is something that may hurt them in the future). The website opens with this line, “Just imagine couples of the future sitting in silence. Relationships based on status updates. The ability to talk or communicate face-to-face completely eradicated. Something must be done, and it must be done now” which sounds a lot like the intro to some new sci-fi dystopian teenage blockbuster, but the real facts are there. For example, according to the campaign, an average restaurant sees 36 cases of “phubbing” per dinner session, which is equal to spending 570 days alone, while in the company of others. This isn’t far-fetched at all, just think about all the people you see on their phones in the presence of others on the daily…which is pretty much every person you see. It’s become the norm.
For most people in everyday interaction, they don’t mind it, since others are doing it, too. But when it’s used to anger your romantic partner, or because you’d rather ignore the problem than talk it out, it can be harmful to your relationship. Baylor University conducted a survey on “phubbing”, and almost half of the respondents admitted their partners have snubbed them with their cell phones before, and almost a quarter said it’s caused issues in their relationships. The problem may lie in what your partner imagines you’re doing on your phone instead of talking to them, which could be something as crazy as cheating on them, if they’re already insecure in the relationship (which is a problem in itself).
For someone with social anxiety, ignoring them in public could trigger an episode, which is probably not something you want to happen to your significant other. And then there’s just the fact that by “phubbing” them you’ve chosen to run away from the problem, which everybody knows only makes matters worse. It’s time to stop trading in real life experiences for digital ones, and put down the phone. Communication is key to a healthy relationship, but only when not done over the phone. Otherwise you’re just making yourself the star of that inevitable dystopian teenage blockbuster on technology, and spoiler alert: the main character ends up alone in the end. Thanks, “phubbing”.
