The idea that everyone has a soulmate is beautiful. That there is one person in the entire world that was made just for you, to share your life with, to make you whole- a job only your soulmate could do. However, there are downsides to believing in soulmates. If you believe in it to the point that you would sacrifice something you’d always dreamed of for them and consequently your happiness, or to the point that you would come to accept behavior that you’d otherwise find unacceptable, your belief in it is unhealthy. A too-strong belief in soulmates also prevents people from finding love again after something’s happened to their believed soulmate, which is a sad way to live if they do in fact desire to find love again. The real problem with the idea of a soulmate is that it doesn’t always take into account that some people can be complete on their own, and that in the end (though we should always care about others, too) our duty is to our own hearts and happiness. So if you’ve found yourself in a situation with your “soulmate” and you realize you’re not doing right by yourself, in can be difficult to decipher what you should do.
What would Audrey Hepburn do? The British fashion icon, humanitarian and American Film Institute-deemed third-greatest actress of Hollywood’s Golden Age never made it a secret that she wanted to be married and have kids (after a short engagement in 1952 to James Hanson, which was called off due to hectic, conflicting schedules between the two, she was quoted saying, “When I get married, I want to be really married.”) In 1954, she became romantically involved with her co-star William Holden, and even divulged that she hoped to marry him and have children. It was clear they were in love, however, when Holden revealed that he had had a vasectomy, Hepburn broke off the relationship, her desire to have kids clearly stronger than her desire to hold on to the idea of a “soulmate”. Audrey was always unapologetic when it came to her relationships, and though she frequently admitted to her love of giving affection and loving others, she always put herself first and never accepted anything less than what she knew she wanted. Believing in soulmates is fine, but if they can’t make you completely happy, you have to think of yourself, and not how great the idea of having a “soulmate” is instead. After all, Hepburn herself did say, “The most important thing is to enjoy your life- to be happy- it’s all that matters.”
