We all know what that post break-up-funk is like, especially within the first week or so after it happens. Sure, you’re probably gonna feel down in the dumps (get it? Sorry, I had to), but that isn’t anything a little movie marathon can’t help to fix! Below is a video list of the top ten movies to watch after a breakup. This needs to be a category in Netflix.
- John Tucker Must Die
“(Insert your ex’s name here) Must Die” is a good alternate title to this move that you may use to yourself while watching, especially if he was a two-timing cheater that needs to learn a lesson. Just try not to take it to the extreme that the girls in this movie did…although chatting it up with other girls he did wrong to as well can be sort of cathartic. And any evil planning that you two (or three, four….) scheme up is at your discretion. I suggested nothing.
- What’s Your Number?
What’s not to love about Anna Faris and Chris Evans, AKA Hilarious Blondie and Hottie McHotster (sorry I wasn’t more creative with these names but you win some you lose some). Not only will this movie give you hope that you have a chance with that cute neighbor of yours, it also helps you remember how much better off you are without your exes, and how ridiculous the whole “number” thing is anyway. Now stop crying over what’s-his-face and sleep with Hottie McHotster neighbor man.
- Eat Pray Love
This movie is pretty much the epitome of doing what most of us dream of but wouldn’t get the guts to go out and do—and why not? Eat Pray Love shows that you can live a more fulfilling life than you ever thought possible after terrible heartbreak. Feasibly one of my favorite quotes ever about self-love comes from this movie, and I’m not even trying to be funny here. This comes after Liz’s friend, Sofi, is feeling bad about her body after gaining a few pounds from eating in Italy, and has second thoughts about enjoying a delicious pizza in Naples:
Liz: Lemme ask you a question, in all the years you’ve ever undressed for a gentleman–
Sofi: —it hasn’t been that many.
Liz: Alright. Has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out, left?
Liz: Because he doesn’t care. He’s in a room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery. I’m so tired of saying no and waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before. Counting every calorie I consumed so I know exactly how much self-loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese; I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza and then we’re going to go watch the soccer game and tomorrow we’re going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.
If you’re ever feeling down on yourself (especially after a breakup), just remember this. And if any guy ever makes you feel differently, dump him.
These valley girls may have been oblivious to a lot of real-life issues and had the epitome of first world problems, but there are some real issues in here too that we all can relate to. This is a perfect “take me back” movie to get your mind off of that loser ex of yours. As if!
- Kill Bill
Anger, a vendetta, and revenge. Plus, this is a trilogy so your movie marathon will last well into the night. Plus, it’s Quentin Tarantino? Perfect movie(s) for the anger stage of a breakup. Need I say more?
- 27 Dresses
After a breakup, you may be feeling the “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” thing hitting closer to home than usual. Hopefully you don’t keep all the bridesmaid dresses in your closet (and I’m even more hopeful that you don’t have friends with such atrocious taste in dresses as Katherine Hiegl’s character did in this movie), and if you do please go to your nearest thrift store or donation bin, stat. Let’s be honest, you’re never going to get it hemmed and wear it somewhere someday. Toss the single dresses, watch this movie, and then belt out “Bennie and the Jets” around your place for however long you want to.
- The Break-Up
The Break-Up is one of the first real feeling romantic comedies. None of that happy ending BS that we get in every other of these movies out there. It’s kind of nice to see that you aren’t alone in the sloppy mess that is calling it quits at the end of a LTR. You’ll feel one with Jen and Vince, and then remember how silly all the terrible fights you had leading up to a (now obviously) inevitable breakup.
Amy Schumer is pretty much Hollywood’s “it” funny girl right now—but that doesn’t take way from how funny and real this movie truly is. Schumer is that girl most of us can relate to, and maybe were or are—afraid of commitment, playing the field and being scared as shit and almost ruining something good. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll feel the feels. It’s ok to be a trainwreck sometimes.
- The Holiday
Breakups around the holidays sting even more than the others. But before you walk into the mall and want to knock over the nearest Christmas display or punch the fake Santa—watch this movie instead. Maybe all you need is some alone time and taking a risk by yourself. Sometimes time alone like that can be better, even at a time where everyone thinks you should be around more people than you can care to stand sometimes.
- The First Wives Club
I mean, c’mon—the OG’s Bette Middler, Goldie Hawn, and Diane Keaton?! Need I say more? If you’re feeling a little vengeful, this one’s for you.