It’s official: Spring is here! That means it is time for an annual spring cleaning spree. Especially if you’ve gone through a breakup this past year, you have a lot that you need to sort through and get rid of! Cleaning can be very cathartic, so open the windows, blast one of your favorite upbeat playlists, and get to cleaning! Good, confusing, or sad, here’s some stuff you’re bound to find:
That Left Shoe You Thought You Lost
Hopefully you didn’t decide to toss the right heel, because now they’re back to being a matching pair! Ah, doesn’t it feel so good? How was it really lost for that long when it was really in your closet all along, anyway? (Note: not all things should get back together..hint, hint)
A Lone White Sock
Well, this definitely isn’t yours so does that mean…yes, throw it away. Right now. Why is it that your own socks get lost while doing laundry yet one of his sticks around for months after he’s been gone?!
Dust Bunnies
Lots of them. Seriously, who dusts their place regularly? Make sure you have tissues, and bring on the sneezes.
A Few Single Wrapped Condoms
These things have a long shelf life, so let’s hope they aren’t expired. That would either be sad or mean they’ve been shoved in that drawer, lost for many years. Pumpkin Spice flavored? Really, were you one of those people? I hope you are also questioning yourself as you smell the fresh spring air through the window. Those condoms aren’t even worth keeping, and I’m slightly ashamed of you.
A Large Men’s Tee
Somehow it was bundled up in a ball and tossed under a pile of who-knows-what. Don’t even try to use the excuse “Oh but it’s just so comfy and broken in to lounge around in!” Everyone knows who’s t-shirt that originally was. Holding on to anything from a past relationship just isn’t worth it; memories will always be attached. If Cinderella and Prince Charming broke up, we’re sure even she would get rid of that beautiful gown and gorgeous, sparkly (probably very expensive) glass slippers. If it’s truly that comfy, I think I might know a good place where you can sell it for another appreciative person…
Your Favorite Shade of Lipstick
So many things that you thought were lost and now are found. Spring is such a great time for awakening and new beginnings! Did you know that in Medieval literature, new romances always began during the springtime? Now put on that lipstick and rock it! After you finish cleaning, that is.