Never Liked It Anyway is not really about breakups, its about bouncing back from breakups. Our approach to bouncing back from a broken heart is to sell all the breakup baggage that reminds you of your ex and use the money you make to fund something on that will make you feel fabulous. And humor is our secret weapon. But sometimes it’s a little more complex than that. Often after a broken relationship, people need to talk it out and seek therapy. I often get asked to recommend therapists and I’m normally stumped as therapy to me feels so dated. Lying on a couch, talking to a doctor? It just doesn’t quite fit and isn’t something I can relate to. But last month, I came across a new platform – In Your Corner – which seemed to break the rules of therapy. Intrigued, I sat down with their indomitable founder Bea Arthur to discover more about how they’re rewriting what therapy is all about. To me, In Your Corner is next generation therapy. It connects you with therapists and coaches (all certified and licensed) through video chat and text sessions, so you get instant, expert advice when you need it. In other words, they’re there to intervene in the moment and (hopefully) stop you from wobbling and making bad decisions! Here’s what Bea had to say about the evolution of therapy, the importance of the immediate feedback and (my favorite!) humor.
How has therapy evolved?
It’s been really interesting to see how the field of psychotherapy has evolved. It used to be extremely clinical and sterile, with lying on the couch for an hour, a deep focus on analyzing everything in one’s past, and a doctor-patient dynamic, which is obviously intimidating and unappealing to the average person – no one has time for that! People just want to get something off their chest and get some advice on how to handle it. I like to think of therapy today as a partnership, which is more powerful and productive when both parties are working and walking towards the same goal of discovering new information about the client and their problems.
How are you trying to rewrite the rules of therapy?
I want to change the conversation about what therapy is and whom it’s for. When people think therapy, they think problems, and no one wants to admit to that; but everybody has “stuff” and it can be extremely helpful to have an objective, professional opinion on how to deal with that stuff – there’s no shame in that. That’s why I actually stay away from the term “mental health” because it’s too close to “mental illness.” Therapy is not just for crazy people! It’s for anyone who wants to improve the way they feel and function. I much prefer to say “emotional health” instead because for the majority of people in therapy, there isn’t an actual chemical imbalance or personality disorder, it’s mostly about different stages of life or changing circumstances and how we feel about them.
In your mind, what does ‘good therapy’ look like?
A “good therapist” doesn’t just let you spin in your story. A good therapist isn’t mysterious or vague and doesn’t repeatedly ask “How does that make you feel?” or “Why do you feel that way?” If you knew why, you wouldn’t be in their office! Good therapy listens to you and learns the way you work so they can point out things that might be invisible to you, give you actual insights into your personality and your behavior, and makes recommendations on how to improve your situation. I like to say we “give you glasses” to see yourself better. Emotions are very powerful so if you are able to understand and regulate them, you become a more focused, calm, and productive person
I love the ‘instant’ nature of In Your Corner, why did you build your product that way?
One hour a week in a quiet office doesn’t cut it. The real tests happen in between the sessions so I like to be able to provide access to your therapist when life gets real, to provide instant calm and guidance.
What advice would you have for someone thinking about therapy?
Don’t go for convenience, go for compatibility. A lot of times, when people start the search for a therapist, it’s based on whether they take their insurance or if it’s close to their office. But if it’s not a good personality fit or that practitioner doesn’t specialize in what you’re dealing with, it won’t be a productive conversation. We let you choose the person based on their specialization and watch a video of them to know what their approach and personality is like before you commit any time or money. And if it’s still not a fit, you can easily switch. If you’re already in a stressful situation, finding someone to help shouldn’t be stressful so I wanted to make the experience as easy as possible.
How do you find someone that ‘fits’?
It’s very important that you trust your therapist, because you won’t always like them. For example, if you came in because there’s a recurring pattern in your life that’s unhealthy, once we’ve established trust, it’s my job as a therapist to challenge you on why you keep doing a certain behavior or choosing certain types of partners. People are very resistant to change even when it’s good for them, so you have to trust that your therapist isn’t trying to insult you or your choices, but actually adjust your perspective so that you see a better version of yourself and figure out what works for you. I don’t care if my clients like me but I do need them to trust my expertise on human behavior.
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Your new campaign is super fun – what was the inspiration behind it?
Thank you! The actress, Alex Dickson, was an improv genius! The writing and producing team and I talked about the idea that people think they don’t need a therapist because they can talk to their friends or family about it, but friends and family can be too close to the situation or unfamiliar with how to handle it. And who hasn’t gotten terrible advice from a well-meaning person who unfortunately just didn’t know what they were talking about? We initially wanted it to be the “Friend-apist” but then the character just seemed like an awful friend so we put this self-important, delusional, know-it-all concept into a third-party persona who could be totally ridiculous and have a lot more fun with it, and the Barista-pist was born.
Your new campaign made me laugh, you don’t often see laughter & therapy together…was that deliberate?
Absolutely intentional. I wanted to apply a lightness of touch to challenge the stereotypes around therapy and let people know we’re in on the joke. That therapists like to drug people up, that therapists take themselves so seriously, and have a God complex that they think they know what’s best for you. We wanted to show that we’re the opposite of that: approachable, accessible, and awesome!
