Needing some love advice? Whether single, in a relationship, recently out of a relationship, or everything in between…we’ve got your back! Here’s a compiled list of FAQs with simple, one sentence answers so you can stop stressing and start focusing on what really matters. No matter your issue, we’re pretty sure we have it covered.
I have a crush on my co-worker. What should I do?
Corner them in the copy room, turn off the lights, breathe heavily and whisper “Mmm” in their ear.
I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my friend. How do I tell them I know?
Give them each a gift basket of delicious fresh baked cookies.
I’m in love with my best friend. How do I tell them?
Flash mob. Make sure everyone is there to witness it.
How do I tell my S.O. they need to lose weight?
Don’t. Just start eating double the amount they eat every time you’re together.
How do I break up with a guy I’ve only been dating a few weeks?
Give him penguin slippers.
When is the right time to introduce my new beau to my parents?
First date. Just have your parents and him go and don’t show up until an hour later, so they meet him before you.
What’s the best breakup revenge?
Go to their house in the middle of the night, crying and saying you want them back.
What’s a good pick-me-up after a breakup to clear my mind?
Look through old photos of you two together for hours in your bedroom alone.
How do I tell my boyfriend I’m in love with him?
Don’t ever tell him, even when he tells you. Never. Tell.
I don’t like my boyfriend’s friends. What should I do?
Call them individually and tell them your boyfriend said he doesn’t want to be their friend anymore. Then move to a different state and change your boyfriend’s phone number.
I’m not sure I want to change my last name after marriage. How do I tell my partner?
Drop your last name altogether. Be like Madonna.
I have a feeling my boyfriend is cheating on me. What should I do?
Cook him an elaborate dinner and say you’re sorry for being a bad girlfriend.
How do I hit on a guy at the bar?
Follow him around within a one foot radius until he notices you. Don’t ever speak.
What’s a great proposal idea?
Shrug, say “I guess you’ll do” and get on one knee.
Is it ok to be friends with an ex even when in a new relationship?
Only if you’re still sleeping with them.
What should I cook my date for a good first impression?
Anything microwavable.
I want kids but my partner doesn’t. What do I do?
Is this a question? Trick them into getting pregnant of course.
What’s a good song to make love to?
“MMMbop” by Hanson.
What should I wear on a first date with my crush?
A onesie.
What should my online dating profile screenname be?
SoLonely247 or Clingy4eva
What’s a flirty text to send my crush?
I just saw a squirrel and I thought of you.
When is it ok to ask someone I’m dating if we’re “official?”
Find their Facebook password, login to their account and put you two in a relationship.
Which piece of advice do you think is best? Let us know your results by following through with our advice by tweeting us @neverlikedit or commenting below! We can’t wait to hear how successful you were!
*Editors Note: Please don’t actually do any of the above. This is completely satirical. We hope you laughed.
