Mandy Hale, author of “The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass” once said that “one of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life” is immediately after a breakup. While we know that a relationship with someone shouldn’t change your motives or who you are as a person, the relationships that end are the ones that change you into a someone you are not, which is the main reason they just don’t work out. Take a lesson from the character of Ann Perkins of “Parks and Recreation”: she took on the personality of whatever man she dated, which made her both a health freak and a cowgirl in a year’s span. She ended up calling it quits and dating herself, but even post-breakup soul searching comes with some precautions. Because while it is one of the best times to find yourself, it is also one of the best times to completely lose yourself (or just plain lose it).
1. Don’t cut your hair
Since when did having the balls to go into a hair salon and say ‘do whatever you want with it’ signify personal growth? While we agree that a bob is universally flattering, and that a little bit of highlights go a long way, it won’t do much more than freshen up your style. Don’t get us wrong, we know this method works for some people, and maybe you were planning to take some scissors to those split ends, anyway, but going for a wild hair cut will leave you with actual wild hair. Instead, take some time to think it over and really shop around for a hairstyle that you think suits you.
2. Don’t swear off your hobbies
Maybe you and your ex made it your “thing” to see a movie on friday nights, but just because it’s over between you two doesn’t mean it has to be over between you and your ritual. It might be a little hard at first, sure, but soon you’ll find nothing can get in the way of you and a good rom-com. Avoiding things that you once enjoyed (and probably still do) will not make the breakup any less real, and definitely will not help you in your soul-searching quest.
3. Don’t get into fads
We’ll admit it, they’re certainly alluring, but usually too good to be true. A juice cleanse will not erase your past (or your stretch marks…love your stretch marks!) and hot yoga will only dehydrate you. It’s great to try new things- especially yoga, as it helps you get in touch with your inner being- but one class does not a yogi make. We suggest trying multiple new activities and classes to see what you’re truly into. You’ll know it when you’re not exercising to make your ex regret leaving you, but for yourself instead.
4. Don’t get a pet
If you’re anticipating lonely nights, don’t jump into getting a dog to keep you company! You’re more than likely not ready to care for another living being, and that’s not fair to the animal (or you). Instead, invite friends over to crash at your place after a night out, or binge-watch an entire show on netflix late-night (it’s very goal-oriented and surprisingly therapeutic). The same goes for getting rid of a pet. Regardless of what memories you associate with the animal, it does not deserve the pound because you’re down in the dumps (though we highly doubt that that’s a real consideration). If you know you’re ready for the responsibility, though, think about adopting first, since millions of animals in shelters are euthanized every year.
5. Don’t cleanse everything
Last but not least, don’t give your whole life an entire makeover unless necessary. It’s tempting to want to get rid of every person that has done you wrong once you realize you’re tired of being unhappy, but nobody is perfect. Friends will annoy the hell out of you and occasionally do wrong by you, but think about if it’s worth it before you dump them. The people you care for the most are the people that’ll really grind your gears, but they’re the ones that are going to be there for you during tough times. So keep on keepin’ on…your soul was waiting for this breakup.
