It’s hard to find the right words to say to you right now because I want those carefully-selected words to have the power to make everything better, but we both know that’s not possible. So here is what I offer instead, the next best thing I can give to you: my support and understanding.
I may not know just exactly what you’re going through, but I don’t want that to create a “language barrier” of sorts between us. I can imagine that you’re feeling deeply and irreparably hurt. Someone you trusted and loved, with every fiber of your being, betrayed you. You showed them the most intimate parts of your life and your soul, and they took that for granted and threw it in your face. I’m not saying this to make you angry (or angrier, since I’m sure you’re already angry), but to show you that I’ve made a promise to understand what you’re experiencing right now. I want to be here for you through this trying time, not just physically, but in a deeply emotional way, to show you that we are connected, and that you’re not alone. You don’t deserve the treatment you received, and this person did you wrong, but I’m here to show you that they are isolated in their viciousness. I will be here for you in a way that they were not.
You should also know that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel right now, whether that’s confusion, hurt, anger, or possibly nothing at all. Maybe you don’t even resent them at all, and that’s fine too. You have the right to feel whatever you feel, as there’s no wrong way to react to something like this. But do not dwell on this for too long, for there is a beautiful world still out there, and an exciting life still left to live. You will likely never fully be over this; there will always be a part of you that is cautious and hesitant to experience life with the openness and intimacy you have before, and that is okay as well. But never let it hinder your enjoyment of life, for this is the beauty of life: it’s unpredictable. Just as you can’t predict the hard times in life, you can’t predict the great times. And there are many great times, I’m sure, to come.
And do not let this alter your perception of your own worth. Don’t let your mind wander to the idea that maybe this happened to you because you’re deficient in some way, or not enough. There is nothing else one could say that could be further from the truth. You are so unique, so perfect when you smile, and your laughter is infectious, like one of my favorite songs. You have so much to give to the world and the people in your life. This you must always remember.
I’m reminded now of Leonard Cohen’s lovely and poetic song Anthem, in which he sings “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
Never forget this.