If you’ve seen Bridesmaids or Four Weddings and A Funeral you know weddings are beautiful, wild and bizarre. And as it turns out – the best place for anything to happen and we have the evidence from 5 crazy but true tales. So if you’re stressed out with wedding planning, just remember, it could be worse!
Wedding Fail 1: The Real Life Monster-In-Law
The Story: “His Mother never approved of me – The whole ‘Not good enough for my son’ crap. So, it was the day of our wedding. I walked down the aisle with my Father by my side and he gave me away in to the hands of my groom. But he wasn’t smiling. He looked guilty and nodded toward his side of the guests. I turned round and his Mother had brought his ex and my ex to our wedding!”
The Epic Fail: “His ex caught my bouquet and guess who she spent the rest of the night with and is currently dating? My ex. It worked out for everyone. Except my Mother-In-Law!”
Wedding Fail 2: Liquid Courage?
The Story: “It wasn’t cold feet, I was just a bag of nerves at being the center of attention! At our champagne breakfast with the women of both our families and my soon-to-be husband’s 89 year old Grandma, there was A LOT of champagne without the breakfast. For me that is. I needed to pee and I was right in the middle next to his Grandma and his sister holding her 8 month old baby. Then my nerves really kicked in. I was going to be sick and tried to escape, apologizing and then I was sick…right in his Grandma’s lap…”
The Epic Fail: “I was so so sorry and kept apologizing. Everyone around me was gobsmacked and when his Grandma finally spoke, she said ‘This smells worse than I do’ and we all erupted with laughter. Thank god she had a sense of humour”
Wedding Fail 3: The Proposal
The Story: “We were childhood lovers and Drop Dead Fred was our favorite movie. He took me in to our garden blindfolded. When I removed the blindfold, I saw he had dug up my petunias and made a mud pie where my engagement ring was supposed to be, sitting on a petunia. It wasn’t. But our St. Bernard, Boomer had flowers poking out at the corner of his mouth… ”
The Epic Fail: “It took 9 hours till we heard Boomer straining in the garden. Then we found my $2000 ring buried in poo. But this wasn’t the worst part. Boomer kept getting in the way as I tried to pull out the ring (with gloves!) – he got in-between my feet and I fell right in to his crap”
Wedding Fail 4: Blood Ties
The Story: “I had been dating this sensationally crazy woman for about half a year. We met at the first ever Sonisphere gig in 2009 and were surprisingly from the same place. We’d always gone to my apartment as hers was ‘being decorated’. Then the time finally came where I got to see her place. It was vintage and furnished with lots of curious antiques. Then she opened her bedroom and there was a white star drawn on the floor with candles and a vintage knife in the centre of the star. I remember looking at her speechless and she said ‘You’re the one -Let’s get married!’ I said I had forgotten my wallet for dinner and ran away without looking back. I changed my number, moved in with my parents for a while and thankfully never saw her again”
The Epic Fail: “About two months later, I finally opened up to a close friend about what happened. He was surprisingly educated about this kind of thing. Turns out, the woman I was dating was some kind of witch and wanted to perform a love ritual where we swapped blood!”
Wedding Fail 5: The Cougar
The Story: “I was invited as a plus one to my friend’s wedding as it was her ex who was getting married and she needed the moral support. They were getting married in this fancy hotel with a lot of rich people. There was a gorgeous mature woman who had been eyeing me up all night, so by the time of the reception, I decided to go up to her and ask her to dance. She was a lot more cougar than I had realized as she whisked me away to the toilets and we did it there and then”
The Epic Fail: “After explaining to my friend about my mind blowing experience she punched me in the arm, really hard and told me I had just had sex with her ex’s Mom! And her husband had noticed she was missing. We made a quick exit!”
