There’s a fine line between playing hard to get and genuinely making someone work for your attention.
Often, we find ourselves chasing after someone, when in reality, we should be the ones being pursued. But how do you flip the script?
The key is to take control, not by playing games, but by making subtle changes to how you act and react.
In this article, I’ll share with you 8 things you can start doing today to make him chase you, without resorting to manipulation or deceit.
1) Embrace independence
One of the most attractive traits you can possess is independence. It’s something that truly stands out and can flip the traditional chase dynamic on its head.
Independence isn’t about pushing someone away. It’s about demonstrating that you’re comfortable and content with yourself, and you don’t need someone else to validate your existence.
Think about it. We’re naturally drawn to people who exude confidence and self-reliance. It’s magnetic because it signals strength and self-assuredness.
So, start embracing your independence. Show him that you have your own life, interests, and passions. Let him see that you’re perfectly fine on your own – but, if he adds value to your life, there’s a place for him too.
2) Establish clear boundaries
You know, there was a time when I thought setting boundaries meant I was being too demanding or high-maintenance. But I’ve come to realize that it’s not about being difficult; it’s about respecting your own needs and space.
I remember dating this one guy who would call me at all hours, sometimes even when he knew I was at work. At first, I let it slide, thinking it was sweet that he wanted to talk so much. But over time, it started to feel invasive and exhausting.
So, I decided to set a boundary. I told him that while I enjoyed our conversations, I couldn’t take calls during work hours. He was a little taken aback initially, but he respected my wishes.
And you know what? It actually improved our relationship. He started valuing our conversations more because they weren’t as readily available. And for me, it was liberating to know that my needs were being respected.
Setting clear boundaries doesn’t mean you’re pushing him away. It shows that you value yourself and your time. This is another way to make him chase you – by letting him know that your attention is something to be earned, not given freely.
3) Cultivate your own interests
Did you know that having unique hobbies and interests can make you more attractive? That’s because it demonstrates that you’re a well-rounded individual with a zest for life.
Having your own hobbies and passions shows that you’re not just waiting around for someone to fill your time. You’re actively engaged in life and are passionate about the things you love.
Whether it’s painting, hiking, reading, or dancing, don’t hesitate to invest time in what you love. This not only makes you more interesting but also gives him an opportunity to pursue you.
And who knows, he might even start sharing some of your interests, giving you more common ground and opportunities for connection.
4) Be confident in expressing your feelings
Expressing emotions doesn’t mean you’re losing the upper hand or showing weakness. In fact, it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness, and it can make you irresistibly attractive.
When you’re confident in expressing your feelings, it shows that you’re comfortable with who you are. It also gives him insight into your thoughts and feelings, which can make him feel more connected to you.
Whether it’s expressing happiness about a promotion at work, or sharing your worries about a family issue, be open about your feelings.
But there’s a difference between sharing emotions and being overly emotional or dramatic. Aim for open and honest communication, not emotional manipulation.
This will not only create a deeper connection but also make him realize that pursuing you means engaging with an emotionally mature and self-aware individual.
5) Show kindness and empathy
In a world where we are constantly hustling and trying to get ahead, kindness can often be overlooked. But it’s one of the most attractive qualities a person can possess.
Showing kindness and empathy doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you let people walk all over you. It’s about treating people with respect, understanding, and compassion.
When he sees you being kind to others – whether it’s a waiter at a restaurant, an elderly neighbor, or a stray animal – it can deeply touch his heart. Kindness shows that you’re not just about yourself; you care for others too.
And the beauty of kindness is that it’s contagious. Your actions can inspire him to be kinder too. This creates a ripple effect that extends beyond just your relationship with him.
6) Be unapologetically you
Growing up, I always felt the pressure to fit into a certain mold. To say the right things, act a certain way, even dress in a style that wasn’t me. But I realized that in trying to be what everyone else wanted, I was losing myself.
So, I made a choice to be unapologetically me. I started embracing my quirks and uniqueness. Yes, it was scary, and yes, not everyone liked it. But those who mattered did.
When you’re unapologetically you, it’s like a beacon that attracts people who appreciate you for who you truly are. And trust me, there’s nothing more appealing than someone who is comfortable in their own skin.
7) Keep a sense of mystery
While it’s essential to be open and genuine, maintaining a touch of mystery can spark his curiosity and make him want to know more about you.
Keeping a sense of mystery isn’t about playing games or being deceitful. It’s merely about not laying everything out on the table at once.
For instance, instead of revealing your entire life story on the first date, share bits and pieces gradually. This keeps the intrigue alive and gives him the thrill of gradually discovering you.
Also, don’t always be readily available. If you have plans with friends or some alone time scheduled, don’t cancel them just because he’s free. Let him know that you have a life outside of your interaction with him.
This balance between openness and mystery will keep him interested and make him want to invest more time in getting to know you.
8) Understand your worth
At the end of the day, the most crucial aspect of making him chase you is recognizing your own worth. You need to understand that you’re valuable and deserving of someone who sees and appreciates that.
When you truly believe in your worth, it radiates from within, making you irresistible. It sets the standard for how others should treat you.
Don’t settle for less or compromise your standards just to keep someone interested. Someone who genuinely values you will respect your boundaries, cherish your uniqueness, and love you for who you are.
It’s not about playing games or employing tactics. It’s about being the best version of yourself and attracting someone who appreciates that.
It’s all about authenticity
At the heart of turning the tables and making him chase you is a principle that goes beyond tactics and strategies. It’s about authenticity.
Authenticity is not a game, nor is it a facade you put up to attract someone. It’s about being real, being yourself, and understanding your worth.
When you are authentic, you attract people who value you for who you are, not for who they want you to be. You create genuine connections rooted in respect and mutual admiration.
Remember, the goal isn’t just to make him chase you; it’s to find someone who appreciates and respects you. Someone who understands that your worth isn’t up for negotiation, and is willing to match your efforts to maintain a healthy, balanced relationship.
So, as you embark on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth, remember to always stay true to yourself. Because at the end of the day, being authentically you is the most powerful magnet you can possess.
