Breaking up is tough, and getting over your ex can feel like an uphill battle. It’s really easy to find yourself stuck in a loop of memories, obsessing over what could have been.
But trust me, it’s crucial to break free from this cycle. Obsessing over your ex doesn’t do any good; it only holds you back from moving forward.
I’m here to help you navigate through this difficult time. I’ve got some strategies that can help you stop obsessing and start living.
Here are 9 tried-and-tested strategies for those who are struggling to get over their ex.
1) Acceptance is key
Breaking up can leave a storm of emotions behind – denial, anger, bargaining, depression. Sound familiar? Welcome to the stages of grief.
According to the Kübler-Ross model, these are stages we go through when we lose something or someone dear. And yes, breakups can trigger this too.
The final stage? Acceptance.
Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to be okay with what happened, or that you don’t wish things were different. It simply means recognizing the reality of the situation.
It’s like removing a band-aid; it might hurt at first, but it’s necessary for healing.
Accepting that the relationship is over can be a significant step towards moving on. It frees up mental space that was previously occupied by thoughts about your ex.
So, acknowledge your feelings and let yourself grieve. But remember, it’s okay to let go. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’re choosing to focus on what you can control – your own happiness.
2) Distraction works wonders
When my last relationship ended, I found myself constantly thinking about my ex. I’d replay our conversations, dissect our arguments, and daydream about running back into each other’s arms. It was exhausting and unproductive.
That’s when I realized the power of distraction.
Whether it’s a new hobby, a workout routine, or immersing yourself in work, a good distraction can help shift your focus from the past to the present.
For me, it was painting. Whenever I found myself falling into the trap of obsessing over my ex, I’d pick up my paintbrushes. Channeling my emotions into something creative not only took my mind off things but also helped me express what I was feeling.
It’s not about avoiding your feelings, it’s about giving your mind a break from them. So find something you love doing and let it help you navigate through this difficult time.
3) Physical activity boosts mood
Exercise isn’t just good for your body; it’s great for your mental health too.
When you work out, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These act as mood elevators, reducing feelings of pain and triggering positive feelings in the body.
So, if you find yourself obsessing over your ex, why not hit the gym? Or go for a run? Or even a dance class?
Not only will it give you something else to focus on, but the surge of endorphins can help alleviate the pain you’re feeling and give you a much-needed mood boost.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be anything strenuous. Even a brisk walk in the park can do wonders. The key is to get moving and let your body do its magic.
4) Surround yourself with support
Breaking up can be a lonely experience. But you’re not alone. Friends and family can provide the emotional support you need during this tough time.
Surrounding yourself with people who care about you can remind you that you’re loved, even when it doesn’t feel like it. They can provide a fresh perspective, offer advice, or simply lend a listening ear when you need to vent.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to them and let them know what you’re going through. You’d be surprised at how much a simple conversation with a loved one can lift your spirits.
it’s okay to lean on others when things get tough. We all need a little help sometimes, and there’s no shame in that.
5) Embrace the change
Change is an inevitable part of life, and breakups are no exception. It’s natural to resist change, especially when it feels like your world has been turned upside down.
But sometimes, change can be a good thing. It gives you the chance to re-evaluate your life, your choices, and your future. It allows you to grow and learn from your experiences.
Instead of dwelling on the past, why not focus on the future? Think about what you want to achieve, where you want to be, who you want to become.
This is your journey, and you’re in control. So embrace the change and use it as a stepping stone towards becoming a better version of yourself.
6) Love yourself first
It’s easy to lose a part of yourself in a relationship. When it ends, you might feel like you’ve lost your identity along with your partner. But here’s the truth – you are more than just someone’s other half.
During this healing phase, take the time to reconnect with yourself. Rediscover who you are outside of the relationship. Embrace your individuality and celebrate your uniqueness.
It might sound cliché, but loving yourself first is crucial. You deserve the same love, respect, and attention that you were willing to give to your ex.
So, spoil yourself a little. Take a solo trip, treat yourself to a spa day, read that book you’ve always wanted to read. Do things that make you happy.
7) Therapy can be transformative
There was a time when I felt stuck, unable to move on from a past relationship. The pain seemed insurmountable, and it felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. That’s when I turned to therapy.
Speaking to a professional can provide insights that you might not have considered before. A therapist can help you process your emotions, understand your patterns, and equip you with coping strategies that are tailored to your needs.
Don’t let the stigma surrounding therapy deter you. It’s a tool for healing, and there’s no shame in seeking help.
Everyone needs support, and sometimes that support needs to come from a trained professional. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a therapist. It might just be the push you need to start moving forward.
8) Avoid the social media trap
In the digital age, it’s easy to keep tabs on your ex through social media. But trust me, endlessly scrolling through their profiles isn’t going to help you move on.
Seeing their updates can reopen old wounds and trigger feelings of jealousy, sadness, or regret. It can also lead to unhealthy comparison, which does more harm than good.
So do yourself a favor – take a social media detox. Unfriend, unfollow, or simply mute their updates if you need to. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Focusing on your own life and well-being is more important than keeping up with your ex’s online presence. So hit that mute button and start focusing on your own journey.
9) Time heals all wounds
This might sound like a worn-out cliché, but it’s true. Time does heal all wounds. Right now, it might seem impossible to imagine a life without your ex, but with each passing day, the pain lessens.
Healing isn’t linear, and there will be ups and downs. Some days will be better than others, and that’s okay.
Just remember to be patient with yourself. Healing takes time, but rest assured, you will get there. You’ll come out of this stronger and wiser than before. Trust in the process and give yourself the time you need to heal.
The journey to healing
When it comes to mending a broken heart, there’s no magic pill or easy fix. It’s a process, often a long and winding one, with its own unique set of challenges.
But remember, it’s okay to feel the pain and it’s okay to grieve. These feelings are a testament to the fact that you loved deeply and truly. And that in itself is something beautiful.
In the words of renowned author Haruki Murakami, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” You’ve loved and you’ve lost, and now it’s time to heal.
Every step you take towards healing, no matter how small, is a victory. It’s a testament to your resilience and strength.
Your journey might be filled with hurdles, but remember that each one is an opportunity for growth. So take your time, be patient with yourself, and remember – you’re stronger than you think.
As you embark on this journey of healing, keep these strategies in mind. But ultimately, know this – you hold the power to heal your own heart. It may not seem like it now, but one day, you’ll look back at this time as a turning point in your life.
Stay strong, keep going, and trust in the healing power of time.
