Breaking up is tough, especially when you’ve spent a good chunk of time with someone.
It can feel like you’re lost at sea, navigating an ocean of emotions without a compass.
There’s no sugarcoating the fact that it’s a rough journey.
But let me tell you, it’s not impossible to overcome.
I’m here to share a few strategies that have helped me, and others, get through the tumultuous times following a long-term relationship breakup.
1) Allow yourself to grieve
One of the hardest things about a long-term relationship breakup is the emotional whirlwind it brings.
We often try to bypass this storm, opting to ignore our feelings or distract ourselves with work or other activities.
But bottling up your feelings won’t help you heal.
Here’s the thing: It’s perfectly okay, even necessary, to let yourself feel all the emotions that come with a breakup.
Sadness, anger, confusion – they’re all part of the grieving process.
Recognize that these feelings are not your enemies.
They’re signs that you’re human and that something significant has happened in your life.
So give yourself permission to grieve.
It’s not a sign of weakness, but rather a crucial first step in recovering from a breakup.
Just remember: it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
2) Find your own healing path
Everyone deals with breakups differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution.
I remember when I went through a painful breakup a few years back.
I initially tried to follow the advice of well-meaning friends – going out more, jumping back into the dating pool immediately, and trying to “move on” as fast as I could.
But guess what?
It didn’t work for me.
I found solace in solitude instead.
I took long walks in the park, read more books, started journaling, and spent some quality time with myself.
This period of self-discovery and introspection was incredibly healing for me.
That’s not to say that my way is the only way.
Your healing path might look very different, and that’s okay.
The key is to listen to yourself, respect your own pace, and do what feels right for you in your journey towards healing.
3) Stay active and eat healthily
When we’re going through a tough time, it’s easy to let go of our normal routines.
But neglecting your physical health can have a negative effect on your emotional wellbeing.
Exercise has been scientifically proven to reduce stress, improve mood, and promote better sleep.
Even something as simple as a 30-minute walk can release endorphins – those feel-good hormones that can boost your mood and help you feel better.
Similarly, what you eat can also impact how you feel.
While it might be tempting to reach for comfort food, a balanced diet can provide the nutrients your body needs to cope with stress and heal.
Taking care of your body is just as important as taking care of your mind when you’re working through a breakup.
4) Reach out to your support system
In times of heartbreak, it’s common to feel isolated and alone.
But remember, you don’t have to navigate this challenging journey by yourself.
Reach out to friends, family, or even a professional counselor.
These are the people who know you well and want to help you through this tough time.
Having a good heart-to-heart with a friend over coffee, or even just a phone call can make a world of difference.
They can provide a listening ear, words of comfort, and sometimes, a fresh perspective.
Don’t hesitate to lean on your support system.
Their strength can help you rebuild your own.
5) Forgive and let go
One of the most challenging, yet most rewarding steps to healing after a breakup is learning to forgive and let go.
You might be holding onto resentment, anger, or sadness.
These feelings are valid, but holding onto them for too long can hinder your healing.
It’s important to understand that forgiving isn’t about excusing the other person’s actions or forgetting what happened.
It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of carrying these negative emotions.
Letting go doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, it means you’re freeing yourself from the heavy weight of resentment and making room in your heart for new possibilities.
It’s a difficult step, but it’s also a liberating one.
It’s about choosing peace over bitterness, love over hate, and future over past.
And in that choice lies tremendous power.
6) Rediscover your interests and passions
In the wake of a breakup, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are as an individual.
I remember feeling as if I had lost my identity when my long-term relationship ended.
I had immersed myself so much into the relationship that I forgot to nurture my own interests and passions.
But once I started to reconnect with the things I loved doing – painting, hiking, and writing – I began to rediscover who I was outside of the relationship.
Exploring your own interests not only provides a much-needed distraction but also boosts your self-esteem.
It’s a gentle reminder that you are a whole person on your own, with unique talents and passions.
So dust off that guitar, put on those dancing shoes, or pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read.
Reconnecting with yourself is a crucial part of the healing process.
7) Avoid rushing into a new relationship
It can be tempting to jump into a new relationship immediately after a breakup.
The loneliness and longing for companionship can make the idea of a rebound relationship very appealing.
However, it’s crucial to give yourself time to heal and learn from the past relationship before diving into a new one.
Rushing into a new relationship without fully healing can lead to unresolved feelings and may create problems down the line.
Take this time to understand what went wrong in your previous relationship, what you want from a future partner, and more importantly, to fall in love with yourself again.
There’s no rush.
Healing takes time, and it’s okay to be single while you work on yourself.
8) Be patient with yourself
The journey to healing after a breakup is not a race.
It’s not about reaching the finish line as quickly as possible, but about taking the time to nurture and care for yourself along the way.
There will be days when you feel like you’re making progress, and there will be days when it feels like you’re back at square one.
And that’s okay.
Healing is not linear.
It’s a process filled with ups and downs, but each step, no matter how small, is a step forward.
Remember to be gentle with yourself during this time.
You’re doing the best you can, and that is enough.
Embrace your journey
The path to healing after a long-term relationship breakup is as unique as the individuals who tread it.
These 8 tips, while universal, will resonate differently with you based on your personal experience, emotional resilience, and the circumstances of your breakup.
However, one thing remains constant: the human capacity for resilience and growth.
As Robert Frost once said, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
These words hold profound truth, especially during challenging times.
The sun will rise again, and you will find yourself in a better place.
The end of a relationship is not the end of your happiness.
It’s merely a chapter in your life that has come to a close, making way for new beginnings.
Embrace your journey with grace and courage.
After all, it’s these experiences that shape us into who we are and who we’re yet to become.
