Breaking up with someone you work with comes with a unique set of challenges.
One of the biggest?
Letting go of certain habits that keep them on your mind.
Getting over someone is hard enough, but when you see them every day at work, it can feel next to impossible.
Your daily routine becomes a constant reminder of what was.
But here’s the good news – you have more control than you think.
By saying goodbye to just a few lingering habits, you can make moving on a little easier.
In this article, we’ll be exploring 8 habits you need to ditch if you want to get over someone you work with.
1) Constant reminiscing
Getting over someone isn’t just about physical distance, it’s about mental distance too.
When you’re in the process of moving on, your mind can be your worst enemy.
You might find yourself constantly reminiscing about the good times, playing back happy memories in your head over and over again.
While it’s natural to miss someone, dwelling on the past can make it much harder to move forward.
It keeps you stuck in a time when you were together, rather than allowing you to accept that things have changed.
One of the first steps to getting over someone is saying goodbye to this habit.
It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.
2) Lunchtime routines
I remember how it was when I went through a break up with a colleague.
We had a special routine – every Tuesday, we’d grab lunch from our favorite sandwich shop around the corner from the office.
It was “our thing” and I looked forward to it every week.
But after we broke up, those Tuesday lunch breaks became a painful reminder of what we used to have.
I found myself still going to that sandwich shop, sitting at our usual table, hoping to bump into her.
It took me a while to realize that by holding onto this lunchtime routine, I was prolonging my own healing process.
So, I made the difficult decision to change my Tuesday routine.
I started going to a different eatery, sometimes inviting other colleagues to join me.
Gradually, Tuesdays lost their sting and became just another day of the week.
The moral of the story?
Don’t cling onto routines that keep you stuck in the past.
It might be tough initially, but it’s an important step in moving on.
3) Cyber-stalking
In our digital age, it’s easy to keep tabs on people without them even knowing.
A quick scroll through their social media feed, a peek at their latest LinkedIn update, or even a glance at their Slack status – these can all feel like harmless ways to stay connected.
But here’s the lowdown.
According to research from the University of Exeter, stalking an ex-partner on social media can delay emotional recovery and personal growth after a breakup.
So if you’re serious about getting over someone you work with, it’s time to say goodbye to this habit.
Resist the urge to monitor their online activities. It might seem tough, but your future self will thank you for it.
4) Office gossip
Workplace gossip can be incredibly tempting, especially when it involves someone you’re trying to get over.
Listening to tidbits about their life can feel like a way to stay connected, even when you’re no longer together.
However, engaging in office gossip can keep you stuck in the past.
Each new piece of information may stir up emotions and prevent you from moving forward.
So instead of prying into their life through third-party sources, focus on yourself.
Concentrate on your own work, your own growth, and your own healing.
5) Holding on to mementos
Keeping mementos from a past relationship is like holding on to a piece of your heart that needs to heal.
Those small tokens – a coffee mug they gave you, the sticky note with their handwriting, or the picture of you both at the office party – can keep the wound fresh.
Letting go of these items isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about giving yourself the room to heal and move forward.
It’s about acknowledging that while those moments were a part of your journey, they don’t define your destination.
So gather up those mementos and tuck them away.
You’re not forgetting the love you had, you’re simply making space for new memories and experiences.
6) Avoiding social events
After my breakup, I found myself avoiding office social events.
The thought of bumping into him, of having to be in the same room, made me anxious.
I didn’t want to face the awkwardness.
But in doing so, I was missing out on a lot of fun and bonding with my other colleagues.
My fear of running into him was isolating me, keeping me from enjoying my life.
So I decided to start showing up again, slowly at first.
There were awkward moments, yes, but they were fleeting.
I realized that by avoiding him, I was giving him more power over my life than he deserved.
Don’t let your fear hold you back.
Show up, have fun and let yourself live fully, without restrictions.
7) Playing the blame game
It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming the other person for everything that went wrong.
You might find yourself replaying scenarios, thinking of all the things they did wrong, and how they hurt you.
But blaming doesn’t help in moving on.
In fact, it keeps you chained to the past and prevents you from learning valuable lessons that can help you grow.
Instead, try to adopt a more balanced perspective.
Understand that it takes two to tango and that both parties contribute to the dynamics of a relationship.
This might be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a crucial step in healing and moving on.
8) Denying your feelings
The most important thing to remember in this process is to allow yourself to feel.
It’s okay to be sad, to grieve, and to miss them.
These feelings are a normal part of the healing process and denying them can only delay your recovery.
Instead of putting on a brave face and pretending everything is okay, let yourself feel.
It’s not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength.
The journey is yours
At the end of the day, moving on from someone you work with is deeply personal.
It’s not just about letting go of habits, it’s about rediscovering who you are and carving out a new path for yourself.
The Harvard Business Review once published an article titled “Resilience is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure”.
This concept applies perfectly to our topic at hand.
Letting go of someone isn’t about enduring the pain until it subsides.
It’s about finding ways to recharge, reframe your experiences, and grow from them.
Whether it’s breaking old routines, setting boundaries on social media, or simply allowing yourself to feel, every step you take is a testament to your resilience.
Remember, this journey is fundamentally about you.
It’s about embracing change, welcoming growth, and most importantly, staying true to yourself.
Navigating through this may be difficult, but trust that each step you take is bringing you closer to healing and a stronger sense of self.
