Taking a step back from a relationship can be tough, but often it’s necessary for your wellbeing.
The key?
Breaking old habits.
These are patterns that you’ve unknowingly built over time and they can keep you stuck in an unhealthy cycle.
In this article, I’ll uncover those 8 habits you need to say goodbye to, if you really want to distance yourself from a relationship.
1) Clinging to the past
It’s human nature to hold on to memories.
But when it comes to stepping back from a relationship, clinging to the past can be a major roadblock.
We often find ourselves reminiscing about the good times, or even the bad, letting these memories dictate our current decisions and actions.
This habit can keep us tethered to relationships that we need to step back from.
It can prevent us from seeing the current situation clearly and making healthy decisions for our future.
So, if you’re serious about taking a step back, it’s important to let go of the past.
It’s okay to cherish memories, but don’t let them control your present or future.
2) Depending on their happiness for yours
This is a habit I personally had to break.
It’s a pattern where you place your happiness in someone else’s hands, letting their mood, actions, or opinions dictate your own emotional state.
In one of my past relationships, I realized I was constantly adjusting my own feelings to mirror my partner’s.
If they were upset, I was upset. If they were happy, only then could I allow myself to be happy.
But this kind of emotional dependency is unhealthy and it keeps you tied to a relationship that you might need to step back from.
It took me some self-reflection and a lot of courage to break this habit.
I had to learn that my happiness is my responsibility and it shouldn’t hinge on someone else’s feelings or actions.
So if you’re looking to distance yourself from a relationship, it’s essential to examine whether this habit is in play and take steps to break it.
3) Ignoring personal boundaries
Boundaries are crucial in any relationship.
They help maintain respect and understanding between individuals, and preserve one’s self-identity.
Yet, in many relationships, these boundaries often get overlooked or ignored.
Did you know that one of the critical predictors of relationship satisfaction is respect for personal boundaries?
Ignoring your own boundaries or those of your partner can create a toxic environment where you feel trapped or disrespected.
If you’re trying to step back from a relationship, it’s significant to acknowledge this habit and work towards establishing and respecting personal boundaries.
4) Constantly seeking validation
Seeking validation is a habit many of us are guilty of.
We often look to our partner to affirm our value, whether it’s about our looks, our achievements, or even our feelings.
While it’s natural to want to feel valued and appreciated, constantly seeking validation can be harmful.
It can lead to feelings of insecurity and dependence on your partner’s opinion of you.
If you’re wanting to step back from a relationship, it’s important to recognise this habit
5) Neglecting your own needs
In our quest to make a relationship work, it’s easy to fall into the habit of ignoring our own needs.
You might find yourself constantly compromising, always putting your partner’s desires before your own.
But the truth is, love shouldn’t require you to lose yourself or neglect what’s important to you.
The most beautiful relationships are those where both partners are not just loved, but also respected and heard.
If you’re trying to step back from a relationship, it’s crucial to identify if you’ve been neglecting your own needs.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary.
6) Avoiding difficult conversations
There was a time when I would do anything to avoid a difficult conversation.
The fear of confrontation, of causing upset, or even ending the relationship would keep me silent.
This habit of avoidance would only lead to unresolved issues piling up, causing resentment and tension in the relationship.
I realized that, in my attempt to maintain peace, I was actually creating more discord.
When you’re trying to take a step back from a relationship, it’s important to identify whether you’ve been avoiding these tough conversations.
Open and honest communication is key to understanding and growth.
It’s time to face these conversations with courage and honesty.
7) Making excuses for their behavior
We often make excuses for the ones we care about.
It’s a way of justifying their actions to ourselves or others, especially when these actions are hurtful or disrespectful.
However, this habit can prevent you from seeing the reality of your relationship.
It can keep you tied to a situation that isn’t healthy or respectful.
Acknowledge the situation for what it is, and remember, everyone deserves respect and kindness in a relationship.
8) Fear of being alone
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, is the fear of being alone.
This fear can often keep us tied to a relationship long after it’s healthy or fulfilling.
It’s a powerful emotion that can cloud our judgment and lead us to accept less than we deserve.
Here’s what you need to know: Being alone is not a reflection of your worth.
It’s okay to be single.
In fact, it can be a time of self-discovery, growth, and freedom.
Don’t let the fear of being alone keep you in a relationship that isn’t right for you.
Taking the first step
The journey of self-discovery and personal growth often begins with acknowledging what no longer serves you.
Stepping back from a relationship is never an easy decision.
It requires courage, introspection, and a lot of strength.
But remember, it’s not about blaming or resenting the other person. It’s about recognizing what’s best for your wellbeing.
As the famous saying by Carl Jung goes, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
This journey is about choosing to become a better version of yourself.
It’s about saying goodbye to old habits that have kept you stuck, and welcoming in new ways of being that promote self-love, respect, and growth.
It’s about embracing your individuality, and understanding that it’s okay to prioritize your needs, your happiness, and your peace.
So as you reflect on these habits, remember that every step you take towards a healthier you is a step in the right direction.
