Building trust can be a tough task, especially when there have been trust issues in your relationship.
I know what you’re thinking – trust is like a mirror.
Once it’s broken, can it ever be the same again?
Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s possible to mend that mirror, to rebuild the trust. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely doable.
Rebuilding trust with your partner means giving them the freedom to choose with complete transparency from your side.
It involves consistent effort, patience and a lot of heart-to-heart conversations.
In this article, I’ll take you through 8 steps that can help you rebuild trust with your partner.
1) Open communication
Trust and communication go hand in hand.
When you’re dealing with trust issues in a relationship, one of the first steps is to open up the lines of communication.
This might seem daunting, especially if trust has been broken before.
But trust me, it’s a vital step.
Open communication isn’t just about speaking your mind though.
It’s about creating a safe space where both you and your partner can express your feelings without fear of judgement or retaliation.
This could involve discussing what led to the trust issues in the first place, or it could be as simple as talking about your day.
The key is that you’re both actively participating and listening.
2) Patience is a virtue
Rebuilding trust takes time.
It’s not something that happens overnight – I’ve learned this from personal experience.
A few years back, I was in a relationship where trust got broken.
It was a tough time, for both of us.
We decided to work things out and the first thing I realised was that rebuilding trust was going to take time.
I wanted things to go back to how they were instantly, but that’s not how it works.
It took months of open communication, understanding and patience to start seeing a change.
We had to be patient with each other, giving each other the time and space to heal.
And over time, we started seeing improvements – small at first, but gradually growing.
Patience was key in that journey.
So don’t rush things.
It’s a process, and like any process, it takes time.
Be patient with your partner and more importantly, be patient with yourself.
3) Building a trust bank
Trust is often compared to a bank.
Every time you do something trustworthy, you make a deposit into this bank.
Each time you do something that breaks trust, you make a withdrawal.
The idea is to keep your trust bank in the positive by making more deposits than withdrawals.
In the context of a relationship, deposits could be as simple as keeping your word, being on time, or showing empathy during a tough conversation.
On the flip side, lying, hiding things or breaking your word can lead to withdrawals.
So focus on building your trust bank.
Keep making those deposits, while minimizing the withdrawals.
Over time, your trust bank balance will grow and so will the trust in your relationship.
4) Practice empathy
Stepping into your partner’s shoes can make a world of difference.
Empathy isn’t just about understanding your partner’s feelings.
It’s about acknowledging them and responding appropriately.
It’s about saying, “I hear you, I understand your feelings, and they are valid.”
When trust is broken, your partner may feel hurt, betrayed, and insecure.
Empathizing with these feelings can help them feel seen and understood.
Practicing empathy also shows your partner that their feelings matter to you.
And when they see that you truly care, it can start to rebuild the trust that was lost.
So next time you’re having a tough conversation with your partner, try to see things from their perspective.
It might give you a new understanding of the situation and help rebuild the lost trust.
5) Show consistency
Trust is built on consistency.
It’s in those small, everyday actions that trust is fostered.
It’s about showing up for your partner, time and time again.
It’s about being there when they need you, and even when they don’t.
Each time you keep your word, each time you follow through on a promise, and each time you show up – it sends a message to your partner.
It tells them that they can rely on you.
That you are someone they can trust.
So be consistent.
Be reliable.
Be the person your partner can depend on, day in and day out.
It might seem like a small thing, but in the grand scheme of trust, these small actions can make a big difference.
Because at the end of the day, trust is about feeling secure – knowing that your partner will be there for you, no matter what.
6) Apologize sincerely
One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was to genuinely apologize for a mistake I made.
It wasn’t easy admitting to my partner that I was wrong, but it was a crucial step in rebuilding the trust that was broken.
A sincere apology doesn’t just admit the mistake, it also acknowledges the hurt caused and takes responsibility for it.
Remember, an apology isn’t just about saying “I’m sorry”.
It’s about understanding why your partner is hurt and what you can do to make things better.
It’s a commitment to change your behavior to avoid causing similar hurt in the future.
So if you’ve made a mistake, own up to it.
Apologize sincerely and show your partner that you’re willing to learn and grow from your mistakes.
It won’t fix things instantly, but it’s a step in the right direction towards rebuilding trust.
7) Seek professional help
Sometimes, the trust issues in a relationship run deep.
So deep, in fact, that you might need help navigating through them.
And that’s okay.
Couples therapy or counseling can provide a safe and supportive environment to talk about trust issues.
A professional can guide you and your partner through difficult conversations, helping you understand each other better.
They can also provide strategies and techniques to rebuild trust, which are based on years of research and experience.
So don’t shy away from seeking professional help if needed.
It’s not a sign of weakness, but rather a commitment to making your relationship stronger.
8) It’s a two-way street
Rebuilding trust isn’t a one-person job.
It requires effort from both sides.
Both you and your partner should be willing to work on the relationship, to communicate, to understand, and to forgive.
It’s about working together towards a common goal – rebuilding trust.
It’s not about who’s right or wrong.
It’s about understanding each other’s perspectives and finding a middle ground.
So be patient, keep the lines of communication open and remember – it’s a journey that you’re taking together.
As long as you’re both committed to the relationship, you can rebuild the trust that was lost.
Trust is a journey
Trust, in its essence, is a journey rather than a destination.
It’s a journey that encapsulates understanding, empathy, patience and consistent effort.
It’s a journey that may sometimes be rough and challenging, but at the same time, immensely rewarding.
As we embark on this journey, it’s important to remember that trust isn’t built overnight.
It’s constructed brick by brick, through our words and actions.
It’s about showing up for your partner, even when it’s hard.
It’s about being honest, even when the truth hurts.
It’s about being patient, even when progress is slow.
And at the heart of this journey is the belief in the power of love and commitment.
The belief that even though trust can be broken, it can also be rebuilt.
Because at the end of the day, trust is the bedrock of any relationship.
It’s what allows us to feel safe and secure with our partner. It’s what allows love to flourish.
So as you go forth on this journey of rebuilding trust with your partner, remember – it might be tough, but it’s worth every step.
