We all get caught in cyclical patterns, healthy and unhealthy alike. (ie: Brushing your teeth every day: Good! Binge-watching Netflix and forgetting to eat: Bad!) One dangerously unhealthy rut involves off-again, on-again exes and the tricks they use to keep themselves tangled up in your heartstrings. Try learning these five lines loser exes use to get you back. When you recognize these manipulation tactics, you’ll be able to get rid of particularly clingy leeches.
“If you leave me, I’ll kill myself.” Threatening suicide is a heavy guilt trip. You can contact your ex’s family, friends, and mental health professionals. But your ex’s health is not your responsibility.
“Nobody else will ever love you like I do.” This is abusive, point blank. Your ex wants to control you, and if they say this, they don’t really love you anyway. They only love the feeling of having control over you.
“Don’t abandon me. I need you.” Codependency is dangerous. If your ex doesn’t mean it, they’re trying to manipulate you. If they do, that’s a problem. Yes, we all need somebody to lean on, but you can’t be the only person in the world your ex relies on for stability. Either way, it’s all bad. And you aren’t anyone’s therapist.
“I’ll make your life a nightmare.” Lying to your family, leaking private photos, the list of intimidation tactics is only limited by your ex’s imagination. Unfortunately, people nasty enough to say these things can imagine pretty messed up stuff. No matter the specifics, threats to your person are never okay. Anyone who wants to hurt you does not care about you and never will.
And the number one classic: “I miss you.” Yeah, buddy, we all miss a lot of things – but most of them ended for a reason. This line can be tough because it plays on nostalgia. It sounds harmless, open, and inviting – like most traps. Mouse + cheese = snapped neck. Don’t let the bait distract you from the past.
If you’re ever worried about your safety or the safety of your ex, contact relevant authorities. But you should never feel obligated to stay with someone at all, let alone to prevent something horrible from happening.
