Dating Dinosaurs

Dating Dinosaurs

Posted by Cassie Ciopryna on November 3, 2017
Author Bio
Cassie Ciopryna
69 posts so far

Sure, we all know that dating in this day and age is getting pretty difficult – but look on the bright side; at least we aren’t dinosaurs. And no, I don’t only mean because they are extinct. Just think of how difficult dating them would be.

 

Tyrannosaurus Rex

First of all, you couldn’t even hold hands for a nice stroll in the park because, well…tiny hands. And you know what they say about small hands…they make small fists! (Get your mind out of the gutter). Also, it might be difficult to enjoy a leisurely stroll holding hands anyway when they’ll probably want to run and capture dinner for you two with every passerby.

 

Velociraptor

These guys seem like the spastic dinosaurs of the bunch—like they need a couple Adderalls in their system to even pay attention to your conversation. They definitely are the A.D.D. dinosaurs (not that there is anything wrong with that). Velociraptor would be the guy always looking past you at the dinner table for whatever else is going on around you. I mean, their name does literally mean “swift seizer.” They’re out for the next best thing instead of focusing on you, and you don’t need that in your life.

 

Brontosaurus

Good old fan favorite Bronty here definitely lives somewhere hip like Silverlake or Brooklyn with its herbivore (AKA vegan) diet. I’m sure in 2017 that he’d be doing Crossfit too—where is his man bun? I mean, Brontosaurus’s name means “thunder lizard” which is pretty cool, but that’s probably just something else he’d spend all his time bragging about. You’re not gonna get a word in edge-wise with this guy. On the plus side, he is like, really tall though. (Insert shrugging emoji)

 

Stegosaurus

Stegosaurus definitely works out with his all plant-based diet as well and is gym bros with Brontosaurus—but is totally taking some sort of “all natural” herbal pills that are actually steroids, because, c’mon. Those bulges can’t be all natural. Fun fact: Although they are obviously quite large, their brain’s discovered to be the size of a dog’s. Not surprised.

 

 

Triceratops

This guy is definitely swiping everyone right on tinder because he’s obviously very horny. (yeh we did). With that big nose and smile (having between 400 and 800 teeth gives you a pretty big mouth), he’s the charmer guy who’s really only trying to get you for one reason—to brag to his buddies the next day.

 

Pterodactyl

With that big beak you know this one won’t stop yapping away while you’re out together. Pterodactyl probably likes to do marathons with those wings to help him out during the races. And don’t you want to be able to sleep in on weekends instead of go running in the morning? But I mean, with being able to fly, maybe he’ll take you on a “magic carpet ride.” 😉

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