There is a game show in Japan where celebrities are placed in a room full of everyday objects and have to guess which objects are actually made of chocolate…using their mouths. If you think that sounds like something you wouldn’t do, how sick are you of receiving that heart-shaped box of bonbons on Valentine’s Day? It’s the thought that counts, we know, but how much thought really went into that V-day cliche? Maybe taking a chomp out of chocolate furniture is a little extreme, but is it really that far-fetched when it comes to breaking the holiday norms? If you’re tired of cherry cordials, consider a new twist on your chocolate fix. We’ve got a list that’s sure to freshen up the holiday, but we’ll let you decide how far you’re willing to go. After all, one man’s chocolate shoe is another man’s box of chocolates! (Or something like that).
Terry’s Chocolate Orange
If you’re a chocolate newbie, this might be a safe start. It’s a ball of chocolate shaped like an orange, pre-sliced and all, and has a hint of the citrus fruit, but is not overpowering. Also, because it’s shaped like a fruit, it’s obviously healthy. An orange a day keeps the doctor away!
The Perfect Man
If only real men were made of chocolate. “Chewing him out” in an argument would not be half bad.
Chocolate Roses
Real roses are pretty, but they’re only for looking and not eating. And as you know, calories don’t count on Valentine’s Day. May as well eat your share of a dozen roses.
Swiss Chocolate Stamps
These are just in case you have a last minute Valentine’s Day card to send to your stomach.
Chocolate Nike Sneakers
It’s safe to say you won’t be playing much basketball in these. If they even make it outside.
Chocolate Heels
In case you need something to dress up that chocolate dress with (which also exists!).
Chocolate Ferrari
Finally, an affordable Ferrari. Probably not driveable though.
Chocolate Beetles
There are tons of different kinds of chocolate beetles from different sellers, but most are just actual beetles covered in chocolate, so do some research if you’re not that adventurous. Still, nothing says “I love you” like a box full of beetles.
Chocolate Swiss Army Knife
This might be confiscated at the airport, but mostly because it’s filled with praline goodness.
Chocolate Tool Set
This is a good idea if you need a few repairs on that relationship of yours. Or, if you’re single, to build yourself a chocolate house full of fabulous. You can have your chocolate and eat it, too.
