This week, I sat down with Layla Martin. Women’s Health like to call her Headmistress of Sex, I like to call her a Sex Magician, but whatever you call her, Layla is an expert in women’s sexuality, and most importantly helping women unlock and master their own sexual powers. We caught up over coffee and talked all things sex, love and dating.
What’s the best gift you ever got?
My boyfriend got me a custom made really earthy piece of jewlery for Christmas. It was so unique and so me, I cried when he put it on me.
What the worst or weirdest gift you ever got?
My grandma used to send some pretty strange holiday-themed sweaters and bags.
What’s you advice for all things love, sex and dating?
Men are attracted to the feeling of being alive. That is the greatest gift a woman can give. Cultivate aliveness and radiance within yourself, and you will always be desired and treasured.
What’s your go to pick me up?
Australian-quality coffee.
Tell us about your first heartbreak..
I went on a Summer road trip with my best friend around America. The day I got back, I called up my boyfriend and he didn’t answer. Turns out he decided to take his ex out to dinner that night. He broke up with me the next day. I really, really thought I wouldn’t survive, I was in so much pain. And I had to see him all the next year at school.
The crazy part is, we didn’t talk for another 7 years. When we reconnected, he said he still thought about me all the time, that I was an inspiration to him and he would often ask himself when making big decisions, “What would Layla do?”
So: people can treat you like shit even when you mean a lot to them, you just never know.
Tell us about a time you Bounced Back better than ever…
I fell in love when I was 25 with THE ONE. I met him on a beach in Thailand and we had a dream romance: house in Bali together, we travelled the world. I was totally crazy for him.
He suddenly left me a year and a half into it and went back to his abusive and alcoholic ex-wife. We had the same spiritual teacher, so I got to listen to graphic descriptions of him having sex with his ex and other women because we had a sort of sharing time in that community.
I had to move out of our Bali dream house into the slums, where I was literally sleeping on the floor by myself. I had no money. I felt like the scum of the Earth. Every man would always leave me, I wasn’t pretty enough, blah, blah, blah.
This went on for about a year and a half while I continued to chase him. It was pretty pathetic.
I eventually got my self respect back, and left Bali.
I met an amazing man who treated me like gold, moved to New York City and launched my own business. I’m now wealthy, happy and confident and I live with a man who is amazing and also knows how to love!
