Anyone else been asked to pack up your life and move overseas for love? In my experience, it happens right when it’s getting really good and you’re starting to wonder whether this is it. And then…BOOM! The ‘how about you uproot your entire life and come with me’ question crops up. This week, one of our crew got asked to move to Spain to be with her guy. So we wondered…what would Cinderella and Beyonce have to say about all this!
Cinderella would absolutely go with him. No questions asked. She loves him and can’t stand the idea of spending a single day apart. It would be the ultimate proof of her commitment to her partner and their relationship. And he will, of course, absolutely see that, ask her to marry him and they will live happily ever after and get a fabulous tan, learn to speak Spanish and eat some delicious tapas in the meantime.
Beyoncé however would say even considering moving for a guy is ridiculously naive. What are you going to do in Spain? What about your career? He can’t be the center of your life! What if you break up? What if he cheats on you? Spanish girls are pretty hot after all. So many things that could possibly go wrong and make a complete fool of you!
But does going with him really make life all about him? Think about it, at the end of the day you’re not just going for him, you’re going for yourself too because YOU want to be with him… and because YOU love adventure. So when you’re faced with these kind of conundrums – these are the real things to consider.
1. What would my life look like if I go?
Take your partner out of the equation and imagine your life there. How are you spending the days? What are you doing? Who are you meeting? What are you learning? Doing this, you’ll find ways to get excited about moving irrespective of your partner. And if you’re not excited at all, well, that’s a pretty telling sign!
2. What happens if I stay?
Sometimes it’s helpful to play out the reverse scenario. I often find, once the seed’s been planted, there’s no turning back. When I start to imagine myself staying put, I realize how badly I crave adventure and how bland my life would become if I didn’t jump on the opportunity. But the reverse can be true. Sometimes it takes this exercise to realize how happy you are with your current life.
3. What do we need to do to stay healthy as a couple?
If you do go or stay, you need to answer this question. If you go off an adventure together, you’ll need to find ways to spend some quality time together; perhaps exploring the sights or restaurants, or learning the language. And if you both stay, you’ll also need to find a way to be OK with this decision and make sure hostility doesn’t fester. Maybe you pick a great destination for a holiday, or work towards moving to a different destination – one you choose together.
Just remember, if you DO go, it doesnt mean you can’t continue to be your rock star self and take your career and life to the next level! The important thing here is to be honest with yourself and what you want, so you can be honest with your guy.
