Whatever cliché breakup line recently spilled from some guy’s lips and danced into your delicate ear drums, just remember, it could always be worse. It stings for a moment, and usually many moments after, and you wonder if it will continue stinging for a lifetime of moments. However, it will get better – just like it did for these infamous leading characters who heard the following terribly unpoetic breakup lines (or were sometimes even guilty of saying less than kind things themselves).
1. Bridget Jones’s Diary, 2001
“If staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I’d rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein’s arse.” – Bridget (Renée Zellweger) to Daniel (Hugh Grant)
Harsh! But, yay! Bridget finally snaps into reality and realizes what a giant “arse” Daniel is. Her breakup was still painful, but at least she got to be the one to cut the cord and stomp out of the office with that epic exit. A woman’s got to know her worth! And, Bridget does have a happy ending, after all.
2. Begin Again, 2013
Have you ever been broken up with via song? Keira Knightley’s character was. Enjoy this tiny sampling of heart wrenching lyrics followed by a terribly sad, yet honest confession from Adam Levine’s character.
“I don’t know if I’m the fool who’s getting this all wrong. That’s the dream, to sing the perfect girl the perfect song. All I know is I can’t keep on wearing this disguise. When you’re the only one that seems worth stealing my eyes.
You take me to another space and time. You take me to a higher place so I’m. I’m about to get out of the race, I don’t mind. You ought to know that everything’s nothing if I don’t have you.”
“Maybe it’ll go away. Maybe it’ll fade. But I have to see it through.” – Dave (Adam Levine) to Gretta (Keira Knightley)
So, after Gretta was broken up with basically through an iPod, she left devastated. Yet, she went on to create an entire album of her own music without Dave, the love of her life and partner she normally wrote songs with. Then, Dave sold out, started wearing really silly vests, his face got taken over by a ridiculously large hipster beard and he came crawling back with his tail between his legs. I’d say Gretta won in the end. But, who’s keeping score? (I am).
3. Legally Blonde, 2001
“If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.” – Warner (Matthew Davis) to Elle (Reese Witherspoon)
And look whose laughing now… all the way to the nail salon and even law school. Elle was determined to follow her ex to prove they were meant to be together. But, she ended up realizing her life would take a completely different turn for the best, and that she had more smarts for Harvard and being a lawyer than she could ever imagine.
4. The Social Network, 2010
“You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.” – Erica (Rooney Mara) to Mark (Jesse Eisenberg)
Well, Erica was right about one thing. Mark did go on to be a very successful computer person, building a social media empire. And the real Mark Zuckerberg has a very happy family as well, now. But boy, did those words have to sting. Still, here’s proof that even a “computer nerd” can bounce back from a harsh breakup like this!
5. She’s the Man, 2006
And, no one’s life was really better after this, but let’s end on a more lighthearted note with one of the funniest breakup scenes of all time from “She’s the Man,” based on Shakespeare’s play “Twelfth Night.” Girl dresses up as boy to break up with said boy’s girlfriend. Man, “what a tangled web.” (Shakespeare’s words, not mine). Bynes shouts the following breakup message across a restaurant and immediately receives praise from the cool guys, including the delectable Duke (Channing Tatum).
“You’re hot Monique, smokin’ hot. But there are plenty of hot girls out there. And the truth is you have nothing else to offer! And when my eyes are closed, I see you for what you truly are, which is UUUG-LAY!” – Viola (Amanda Bynes) to Monique (Alexandra Breckenridge)