Aphrodisiacs: From Ooooh to Eewww

Aphrodisiacs: From Ooooh to Eewww

Posted by Cassie Ciopryna on June 4, 2015
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Cassie Ciopryna
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There are certain foods in history that have been known for their somewhat sexual qualities. These aphrodisiac foods make sense for the most part but let’s face it—some of them just aren’t sexy. We aren’t just talking whipped cream and flavored lube here, people. We decided to compile a list of some of the aphrodisiacs and rank them in order from best to worst.

Pomegranates:  These sweet seeds deliver anti-oxidants which allows more blood to course through the body, leading to genital sensitivity. Did you know they were also used as makeup such as lipstick and rouge back in the day? Not only do they taste delicious, but they are messy to eat, are a vivid red color, and you can rub them on your lips for a few purposes—we’d say pomegranates are pretty sexy.

Red Wine: Resveratroll, an anti-oxidant which improves blood flow and circulation, is found in red wine. Next time your S.O. asks why you’ve downed the whole bottle—let them know it’s for their benefit later (just make sure not to pass out on the couch after a few too many). “Red, red wine, you make me feel so fine…” UB40 knew what they were talking about.

Chocolate: Cocoa, which is a key ingredient in chocolate, contains phenylethylamine, a stimulant which promotes well-being and feeling excited. Maybe that’s why sometimes chocolate is enough in and of itself. What else do you need after?!

Bananas: Most people know that bananas are a good source of potassium, which is good for muscle strength. Runners down these things like there’s no tomorrow. Well, the muscle strength can also be good for “down there” on the ladies (make sure to still do those kegels!) I’m also pretty sure eating a banana and making eye contact is enough of an aphrodisiac alone for any man. Who cares about what’s inside the banana. Just start peeling and get ready to be pounced.

Coffee: The caffeine in coffee ups the heart rate and makes blood flow as well. Supposedly this can get you randy for some sexy-time as well. Ever wonder why you suddenly can’t focus on work while at the office? Hmm..

Avocados: Californians have this one easy. The vitamin E in avocados helps churn out hormones like testosterone & estrogen (maybe we should slow down on feeding these to pubescent pre-teens). It is said that in history the shape of the avocado, which can represent specific parts man’s genitalia, is also a factor for these being considered an aphrodisiac.

Oysters: When we hear aphrodisiac, most of us will think of oysters right away. But do you know why these shellfish are considered such? They contain high amounts of zinc, which cranks up production of testosterone and boosts libido. Besides that,  there’s a lot of mouth-to-oyster and slurping action while eating these little guys. I guess that can be sexy, depending on the person on the other end of the oyster…and as long as you don’t, you know, drool or drop it or something embarrassing like that. They also don’t smell the best—so please enjoy something else after your gooey oysters.

Asparagus: Apparently asparagus stalks contain a good serving of potassium, fiber, vitamin B6, vitamins A and C, and thiamin and folic acid. The latter is supposedly helps  boost histamine production which is necessary for the ability to reach orgasm in both sexes. (But it also can make your pee smell weird, so keep that in mind).

Garlic: Apparently garlic is known to increase blood flow, which is good for sex. Look, I love garlic as much as the next Italian-food lover, but I’m just not sure how this is sexy. Especially if you’re going at it in the hot summer time, your pores will be leaking with the stuff. I’m sure there are other ways to increase your blood flow.

Hot Chilies: The capsaicin found in these fiery guys is known to get blood flowing and stimulate nerve endings. But umm..yeah..you might want to be careful what else you might stimulate after eating some spicy food. This can end very, very badly. Not to mention the effect spicy food can have on your body. You want to be exploring your partner, not the nearest bathroom.


what do you think?





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Aphrodisiacs: From Ooooh to Eewww

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