Navigating the world of relationships can be like walking through a minefield.
Especially when you find yourself in a situationship that, much to your disappointment, doesn’t evolve into a relationship.
What’s a situationship, you ask?
It’s that gray area where you’re more than friends but not quite a couple.
And getting stuck there can be heart-wrenching.
Sadly, it’s a common scenario.
I bet most of us have been there, hoping against hope that the other person would reciprocate our feelings.
But what do you do when that doesn’t happen? How do you move on from that painful spot?
Here are 9 ways to help you navigate out of a situationship and heal your heart.
1) Acceptance
The first step to moving on from any situation that has left us with a heavy heart is acceptance.
We often find ourselves stuck in situationships because we are holding onto the hope that things will change.
We believe that if we wait a little longer, work a little harder, or love a little stronger, the other person will finally see our worth and commit.
But the truth is, we cannot control how others feel or act.
We cannot force someone to want a relationship with us.
So, accept.
Accept that what you desired did not work out.
It doesn’t make you less valuable or unworthy of love.
Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be.
And that’s okay.
Acceptance can be painful, but it is also liberating.
It frees us from the cycle of hope and disappointment and allows us to move forward.
This might seem tough initially, but trust me; it gets easier with time.
2) Self-care
After my own personal journey through a situationship, I realized the importance of self-care.
I remember feeling drained, both emotionally and physically.
I was so focused on the other person and our undefined relationship that I had forgotten to take care of myself.
I had stopped doing things that I loved and that made me feel good about myself.
So, I decided to change that.
I started running again, a hobby I had long forgotten.
I made time for my friends and family, who were my pillars of support.
I pampered myself with my favorite food, movies, and books.
And guess what?
It worked wonders.
Taking care of my physical and mental well-being made me feel energized and positive.
It reminded me that I am more than just the situationship that didn’t turn into a relationship.
3) Seek support
Did you know that humans are wired to connect with others?
It’s true.
Our brains are designed to seek and maintain social bonds.
This means that when we’re going through tough times, like moving on from a situationship, it’s natural and beneficial to reach out for support.
Talk to your friends or family about what you’re going through.
There’s no need to carry the burden alone.
The people who care about you will want to help, and they can provide a different perspective that might help you see things in a new light.
And if you feel like your friends and family can’t fully understand what you’re going through, seek the help of a professional.
Therapists and counselors are trained to help you navigate complex emotions and can provide you with tools to help manage them.
4) Distract yourself
When you’re stuck in a situationship that isn’t going anywhere, it’s easy to let it consume all your thoughts.
But dwelling on it isn’t going to change anything. It’s time to divert your focus.
Find something that you love doing, something that can hold your interest and passion.
Maybe it’s painting or playing a musical instrument.
Maybe it’s hiking or learning a new language.
For me, it was writing.
I found solace in pouring my thoughts onto paper.
It was therapeutic and helped me process my emotions.
Distracting yourself doesn’t mean you’re running away from the situation.
It simply means you’re giving your mind a break from the constant cycle of overthinking.
So, go ahead and immerse yourself in something that brings you joy.
Not only will it distract you, but it will also remind you that there’s more to life than the situationship that didn’t work out.
5) Limit contact
When you’re trying to move on from a situationship, it’s essential to create some distance.
This might seem harsh, especially if you’ve grown used to their presence in your life.
But trust me, it can be incredibly helpful.
Limiting contact means less time spent wondering about their day, fewer text exchanges that keep you hooked, and less potential for misunderstanding their intentions.
If you’re comfortable, you can have an open conversation with them about why you need this space.
If not, simply reduce the frequency and depth of your interactions.
This way, you allow yourself the emotional space and time to heal.
6) Forgive and let go
It’s easy to hold onto resentment and hurt when a situationship doesn’t turn into the relationship you hoped for.
We often blame ourselves or the other person, rehashing what went wrong or what could have been done differently.
But harbouring these feelings only prolongs our pain.
It keeps us tethered to the past, unable to move forward.
So, forgive.
Forgive them for not reciprocating your feelings.
Forgive them for any pain they may have caused, knowingly or unknowingly.
And most importantly, forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for any mistakes you think you made.
Forgive yourself for falling into a situationship, for hoping for more.
This isn’t about absolving anyone of responsibility or forgetting what happened.
It’s about releasing the emotional baggage that is weighing you down.
Because in forgiveness, we find peace.
And in letting go, we find the strength to move on.
7) Rediscover yourself
In the midst of my situationship, I lost sight of who I was.
I was so focused on winning his heart that I forgot about my own dreams and desires.
When I finally decided to move on, I realized I had a golden opportunity to rediscover myself.
I began to ask myself – What do I want out of life? What makes me truly happy? What are my passions?
I started exploring new hobbies, delving back into old interests, and setting personal goals.
It was like getting to know myself all over again.
And you know what?
It was exciting.
I realized that there was so much more to me than the failed situationship.
So, use this time to reconnect with yourself.
Find out what makes you unique, what makes you happy. Y
ou might be surprised at what you discover.
8) Embrace positivity
It’s easy to let a failed situationship cloud your outlook.
But dwelling on the negative won’t help you move forward.
Instead, try to embrace positivity.
Look for the silver linings.
Maybe the situationship taught you what you want in a relationship or made you realize your worth.
One way to cultivate positivity is through gratitude.
Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for.
It could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a call from a friend.
Over time, this practice can help shift your focus from what didn’t work out to all the good things you have in your life.
9) Love will find you
I want you to know that just because this situationship didn’t turn into a relationship, it doesn’t mean that love won’t find you.
Love isn’t about forcing something to work.
It’s about finding someone who wants the same things as you do and respects your feelings.
So, keep your heart open.
Don’t let this experience make you cynical or close you off to future possibilities.
Because when the time is right, love will find you.
And when it does, you’ll realize that all the heartaches were worth it.
Healing takes time
At the heart of moving on from a situationship lies a fundamental truth: healing takes time.
Just like a physical wound, an emotional wound needs time to heal.
It’s okay to feel the pain, to grieve the loss of what could have been.
These feelings are a testament to your ability to love and hope.
So, don’t rush your healing process.
Embrace it.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions, but don’t let them define you.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey.
And as you navigate your way through the maze of emotions and experiences, know that there’s a brighter future waiting for you at the end.
Because true love is not about settling for less than what you deserve.
It’s about finding someone who values you and cares for you as much as you do for them.
And when you find that person, all the heartaches will fade into distant memories.
Until then, hold on, heal, grow and remember that life is a beautiful journey filled with lessons and opportunities for growth.
