There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Not all of us are ready to find love, to settle down, or even to meet for coffee unless it’s going to advance our careers. Sure, deep down we’re all dreaming about the day we bring home “the one.”
But right now? Right we want to create a home of our own on our own. Or we want to jump from home to home because we’re not tied down, and we like it that way for now.
Society can make it seem like being single at a certain age means you’re falling behind. As a fellow single woman, I vehemently disagree. Take yourself, for instance. Chances are, you’re a highly motivated, ridiculously passionate, and a bright-eyed young woman with all the potential in the world to change it. Am I right?
Our digital culture can make it a little discouraging to be single when everyone else is getting married and having babies. Yet our culture is also seeing a change – one that supports women going after their dreams and not after diamond rings. We’re seeing our world evolve this way and it’s up to us to grow with it and to make the new “normal.”
Because you’re not falling behind… you’re just falling for the wrong guy.
It’s time to forget societal expectations. It’s time to change the way fairy tales are written – it’s not a matter of erasing the happy ending but changing the way we get to one. For now, focus on being a badass single woman who’s chasing her dreams. Go chase headlines and go change lives. You don’t need a man to do any of it. But what you do need are these 9 tips to help you get there:
1. Travel the world. Travel opens up your eyes and your heart. If anything is going to empower you, it’ll be watching the sun rise in another part of the world. Go with friends or travel solo, either way there’s an entire world waiting for you to discover it, to have an adventure, and to explore.
2. Read about other successful women. Get inspired by badass women that are making a real difference in this world that has nothing to do with who they’re married to – or if they even are. Remember, you can be one of them.
3. Pamper yourself and glam it up. Forget that it sounds silly because there’s no woman out there that doesn’t feel better after going to the salon or getting dolled up. So give in and splurge on the spa (Gilt City always has some great offers) or have GlamSquad arrive before a night out with the girls.
4. Surround yourself with great women. Being around people who make you laugh, support your dreams, and make you want to be a better person is the key to a happy heart.
5. Subscribe to a subscription service. Each month you’ll receive fun surprises that will serve as a reminder to treat yourself and hopefullt be useful in your every-day life. You can try everything from Birchbox to Rocksbox to FabFitFun to SinglesSwag – the options are endless!
6. Spread a message of love. Instead of spreading your lack of a dating life, spread the love. Spread your love of self, of the world, of your family, of your pet, or, hell, even your brand of wine. You never know what it’ll attract from it.
7. Focus on your career. Put absolutely everything you’ve got into following your passions, climbing your ladder of choice, taking risks for a bigger reward, and doing it all without depending on a man. Maybe reading a book would help.
8. Go to networking events. I recently went to a life-changing Creative Mornings talk so I can attest that sometimes external inspiration can be very powerful. Sometimes you need a peripheral push, and there are plenty of other groups too, like SheSays or IVY – all of which I suggest trying out.
9. Give yourself a break occasionally. Enjoy that glass of wine (maybe try a wine of the month club), have a relaxing night in, eat the whole tub of ice cream (especially if it’s Halo Top), and don’t scold yourself for any of it. Indulge because you deserve it.
While some of these may seem a little cliché, when is the last time you actually chose to practice any of them? Instead of jeering at the commonality, try to simply embrace it. You might surprise yourself, you might love yourself a little more, and you might find yourself more empowered to go change your world.
“I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.” –Warsan Shire