Even the happiest couples have fights.
But what sets them apart is how they handle those disagreements.
It’s not about avoiding conflict – it’s about understanding how to navigate it.
Happy couples approach fights differently, and it’s these differences that keep their relationship strong and flourishing.
There are certain things that these couples do differently during fights that ensure they’re not damaging the relationship.
I’ve got nine of these key behaviors to share with you.
Below is an exploration of “9 things happy couples do differently during fights”.
We’ll delve into these practices that can turn a potential relationship crisis into an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding.
1) They listen
In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to get caught up in defending your point of view.
But happy couples know there’s more to a fight than just winning.
Listening is key.
It’s about truly hearing and understanding your partner’s perspective, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
When one person is speaking, the other should be actively listening.
This means not interrupting, not planning your rebuttal, but genuinely trying to understand their feelings and viewpoint.
This simple act of respect can prevent misunderstandings and defuse tension.
It shows you value their thoughts and feelings as much as your own.
Listening is not about agreeing or giving in.
It’s about acknowledging the other person’s experience and emotions. It’s about empathy.
It may not always be easy, but it’s a practice that happy couples have mastered during fights.
And it’s a practice worth adopting if you want to navigate disagreements in a more positive and constructive way.
2) They take a timeout
I remember this one fight my partner and I had.
It was about something trivial, but the argument escalated quickly.
We were both stubborn and neither of us wanted to back down.
In the heat of the moment, my partner suddenly said, “Let’s take a break.”
We agreed to stop arguing and take some time apart to calm down.
We walked away, cooled off, and collected our thoughts.
This timeout was a game-changer.
It stopped the argument from spiraling out of control and gave us the space to reflect on what we were really fighting about.
When we came back together, we were calmer and more rational.
We were able to discuss our issues without the anger and frustration clouding our judgment.
Taking a timeout isn’t about avoiding the problem.
It’s about giving ourselves the chance to approach it in a more thoughtful and less reactive manner.
Happy couples understand this and actively use timeouts during their fights.
3) They use “I” statements
You’ve probably heard of the term “I” statements.
These are statements that focus on the speaker’s feelings and experiences, rather than making accusations or assumptions about the other person.
Research shows that using “I” statements can reduce defensiveness and promote open communication during conflicts.
For example, instead of saying “You never help with the chores,” a happy couple might say, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to do all the chores by myself.”
By using “I” statements, they shift the focus from blaming each other to expressing their own feelings and needs.
This approach fosters empathy and understanding, making it easier to find a solution that satisfies both parties.
4) They focus on the issue, not the person
When disagreements arise, it’s crucial to remember that it’s the issue you’re fighting with, not the person.
Happy couples know how to separate their partner from the problem.
They don’t let the argument become a personal attack or a laundry list of past mistakes.
Instead, they stick to the current issue at hand.
They discuss their concerns and how it impacts them without resorting to hurtful comments about each other’s character or past behavior.
By focusing on the issue and not attacking each other personally, they ensure that they’re working together to solve a problem, not fighting each other.
This strategy is essential in maintaining respect and love, even during disagreements.
5) They know when to apologize
Saying “I’m sorry” can sometimes feel like admitting defeat, but it’s actually a sign of strength.
Happy couples understand that apologizing doesn’t mean they’re wrong and the other person is right.
It means they value the relationship more than their ego.
When they realize they’ve hurt their partner, whether intentionally or not, they don’t hesitate to apologize.
And it’s not a hollow “I’m sorry” just to end the fight – it’s a sincere apology that shows understanding and remorse for their actions.
Knowing when to apologize is a powerful tool in resolving conflicts and preventing resentment from building up.
It’s an acknowledgment of one’s mistakes and a commitment to work on them.
6) They remind each other of their love
In the midst of an argument, it’s easy to forget the love and affection that brought you together in the first place.
But happy couples have a way of reminding each other, even during their toughest fights.
They might take a moment to hold hands, share a meaningful look, or say “I love you” amidst the disagreement.
These small gestures serve as powerful reminders that they are on the same team and that their love for each other is bigger than any dispute.
This practice helps to keep things in perspective.
It’s a reminder that while this fight may feel big right now, it’s just a small part of your larger journey together.
It’s a balm to the hurt feelings and a reaffirmation of commitment, even in disagreement.
Remembering their love during fights is a positive habit that strengthens their bond and helps them weather any storm together.
7) They embrace compromise
I used to see compromise as a loss. It felt like giving up on my point of view.
But as I grew in my relationship, I realized compromise isn’t about losing.
It’s about finding a solution that respects both partners’ needs and wants.
My partner and I have different tastes in movies. I love rom-coms, while he prefers action films.
Instead of arguing over what to watch every movie night, we decided to take turns choosing the movie.
This way, we both get to watch what we like, and more importantly, we enjoy the experience together.
Compromise is a constant practice in happy couples.
They understand that it’s not about one person always getting their way — it’s about creating an environment where both partners feel heard, validated, and respected.
It’s about working together to find solutions that make both partners happy.
Embracing compromise doesn’t mean losing your voice; it means using it to build a stronger, more balanced relationship.
8) They don’t hold grudges
It can be tempting to bring up past mistakes during a heated argument, but happy couples resist this urge.
They know that holding grudges only fuels resentment and prolongs conflicts.
Instead, they choose to forgive and let go.
They address issues as they arise and then leave them in the past where they belong.
This isn’t always easy, of course.
Letting go of past hurts requires patience, understanding, and a lot of emotional maturity.
But it’s essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
By not holding grudges, they allow their relationship to move forward, free from the weight of past conflicts.
This way, each argument becomes an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than a breeding ground for resentment.
9) They remember that they’re a team
Above everything else, happy couples remember that they’re on the same team.
Fights and disagreements aren’t about winning or losing, but about finding solutions together.
They know that every argument is an opportunity to understand each other better and to strengthen their bond.
They approach conflicts with the mindset of “us against the problem”, not “me against you”.
This team mentality fosters unity and cooperation, even in the midst of disagreements.
It reinforces their commitment to each other and helps them navigate challenges with love and respect.
Remembering that they’re a team helps them turn fights into constructive conversations, fostering a stronger, happier relationship.
It’s all about love
At the heart of every disagreement, every heated conversation, every tear shed in frustration, remember this – it’s all about love.
Love is the reason you’re willing to fight, to argue and to stand your ground.
But it’s also the reason you’re willing to listen, to apologize and to compromise.
The nine points we’ve discussed are all anchored in love.
They’re not rules or steps to follow, but manifestations of a deep affection and respect for your partner.
Whether it’s during a small disagreement or a major fight, these practices are about nurturing and preserving that love.
They’re about treating your partner with kindness and respect, even when tensions are high.
Remember, happy couples don’t avoid fights.
They simply fight differently.
They fight in a way that respects and cherishes the love they share.
So next time you find yourself in a disagreement with your partner, take a moment to remember why you’re in this relationship in the first place.
Let that love guide you through the argument and into resolution.
Because at the end of the day, it’s all about love.
